Dealing with the pre-surgery negative comments..
Congrats on your upcoming surgery..I just had the Realize Band done on Sep 20 and i am down 40 pds alreadyb with no complications(Thank god) People were saying to me dont have it...u look good...guess what...I look even better now......(smile) Dont let them make you feel bad...I am getting compliments from all over and it feels good.....
I haven't concealed the fact that I've had surgery, but I don't mention it unless it's situation-appropriate. For example, if someone is pushing me to eat and drink at the same time, i gently let them know that I've had gastric bypass and that it's not possible for me to do that. If you're flexible, you can still follow your surgeon's rules (almost) to the letter and find something to eat in any gathering, or, gasp, choose not to eat.
I did find myself talking with a woman who was going on about all the people she knew that had had "gut-buster surgery" as she called it, and she made some disparaging comments. I gently told her I'd had the surgery too, and she quieted down. I think they key is to not take a stand about it, it's a personal decision and I'm not trying to convince anyone else that I did the right thing, I know I did, that's all that matters. When people say "my best friend died from that surgery" or "my parents told me they love me too much to allow me to have that surgery", I respond to their feelings in as kind a way as I can, and I don't try to defend my own actions.
So, my advice is don't be defensive about it, nod and smile, let them think what they like. Try not to single yourself out by saying things like "I can't eat that" or "there's nothing here for me to eat". That just draws negative attention to you. Go about the business of getting the nutrition and liquids that you need as unobtrusively as possible and you'll find that most people will just go on to the next topic. You're doing what is right for you, just as they have done what is right for them in their lives (we hope!).
Oh, and one more thing - be prepared for my personal (un)favorite: "you're a different person". Corrent Answer: No, I'm not a different person, I'm exactly who I was before, my body just looks different and I dress better. :-). [Alternate answer if you're feeling *****y: No, I'm just wearing eyeliner]
I did find myself talking with a woman who was going on about all the people she knew that had had "gut-buster surgery" as she called it, and she made some disparaging comments. I gently told her I'd had the surgery too, and she quieted down. I think they key is to not take a stand about it, it's a personal decision and I'm not trying to convince anyone else that I did the right thing, I know I did, that's all that matters. When people say "my best friend died from that surgery" or "my parents told me they love me too much to allow me to have that surgery", I respond to their feelings in as kind a way as I can, and I don't try to defend my own actions.
So, my advice is don't be defensive about it, nod and smile, let them think what they like. Try not to single yourself out by saying things like "I can't eat that" or "there's nothing here for me to eat". That just draws negative attention to you. Go about the business of getting the nutrition and liquids that you need as unobtrusively as possible and you'll find that most people will just go on to the next topic. You're doing what is right for you, just as they have done what is right for them in their lives (we hope!).
Oh, and one more thing - be prepared for my personal (un)favorite: "you're a different person". Corrent Answer: No, I'm not a different person, I'm exactly who I was before, my body just looks different and I dress better. :-). [Alternate answer if you're feeling *****y: No, I'm just wearing eyeliner]
Surgery Weight (1/25/10) 265 - Current Weight - 184 1/1/12 - Goal ????
Wow.....i just don't understand why people do that. It is like being pregnant and everyone telling you their worst oregnancy nightmare. "i was in labor for 3 days and the baby weighed 20 lbs'
i just recently saw a family member who I havent seen in years and immediately said how good I looked,,,lol...like a "different person" He then proceeded to tell me that he had a "friend" who had lapband,,then gained it all back plus some. Then he had gastric bypass and has gained it all back and then some more. Why would I want to know this information?? I wanted to slap him right then and there!!
I was recently anger by an issue of People magazine. It is a cover of people who have lost a large amount of weight with "no gimics". WTF!! So anyone who has lost weight thru weight loss surgery does not count or deserve to be recognized.
So I guess what i am saying is that you are going to run into this before, during, and after your weight loss You just have to stay focused. That is what this website is more, and is why we all here to support each other.
Good luck with your surgery, and let us know what happens.
i just recently saw a family member who I havent seen in years and immediately said how good I looked,,,lol...like a "different person" He then proceeded to tell me that he had a "friend" who had lapband,,then gained it all back plus some. Then he had gastric bypass and has gained it all back and then some more. Why would I want to know this information?? I wanted to slap him right then and there!!
I was recently anger by an issue of People magazine. It is a cover of people who have lost a large amount of weight with "no gimics". WTF!! So anyone who has lost weight thru weight loss surgery does not count or deserve to be recognized.
So I guess what i am saying is that you are going to run into this before, during, and after your weight loss You just have to stay focused. That is what this website is more, and is why we all here to support each other.
Good luck with your surgery, and let us know what happens.
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