Scheduled and Nervous

Hi!

I'm new here.  I'm scheduled for the Realize Band on May 25th.  I'm starting to get very nervous.  I really hate going to hospitals.  I'm also afraid that I won't do a good job of following the program.  I'm trying very hard to get my head in the right place.  Unfortunately that is very difficult to do.  My husband had his surgery last week so he is still home from work.  My normal routine is off, he's cranky and it feels like I'm responsible for what he eats and drinks so therefore his success.  I have enough pressure with my own program I don't like feeling responsible for his.

I would just like to be able to relax and go into this calmly.  I ready to hit the road running and do this.  I'm excited about a new start but also scared because change is a scary thing.  Intellectually I know I'll be fine, but it's hard to feel that.

Thanks,
Wendy

I hope that your surgery and recovery goes smoothly.  I think you're fortunate to have someone to take this journey with, and I think you will be okay.  Make sure to get all the things you'll need in your kitchen to insure your sucess (foods,small plates, small utensils, drink mixes).

Good luck :)

You are very lucky to have someone to go through this with!  Recovery from band surgery is not that bad (I had it before my RNY) and your husband should be feeling better by the time you are ready to go :)

Wendy,

What you are feeling is normal – so don’t stress too much about it. It’s all natural.

 

From the very first day I had fear I wasn’t going to do well with this, because past experiences showed that no matter how successful I was on a program I eventually failed. This time around, I took that fear, and embraced it. I have that fear every day, and it’s because of that fear that I stay as diligent as I do. I know that if I ignore that fear, I WILL FAIL.

As you’ve been probably told time and time again, they put the band around your stomach – but not around your brain. You will need to work at this, but know this tool does help. And here is the truth that most people won’t tell you. YOU WILL FAIL. We all do, because it’s a way of life. So slips, stumbles and falls will occur. What we do when this happens is truly important. You need to get yourself up, dust yourself off, and get yourself to continue down the road to success.

 

When this happens, you first need to do is ask yourself “Where did I come from" .. then ask yourself “Why did I do this operation" – basically the answer is because it’s a last resort.

 

You need to realize you are stronger than any craving or any food. It took strength to admit you have a problem you can’t control. It took strength to decide to have an operation. It took strength to do what was needed before and after the operation. It took strength to say “I need help" .. So you have the strength, now you need to call on it.

 

I suggest attending support groups. They help you stay focused, and it’s always great to meet someone who either is going through, or went through, how you’re feeling.

 

In regards to your husband’s success. NO ONE is responsible for a person’s success or failure, except the PERSON THEMSELVES. I have people around me who either willing or unwilling tempt me – not maliciously. When I someone asks “would you like a taste of xxxx" I always answer, “Would I like a taste – SURE !! Will I have a taste, NO THANKS". Your husband needs to take responsibility for himself, what he eats and his success. NOT YOU!! You are not him, and he is not you. He can’t live YOUR life and make YOUR decisions, so how can you feel you can with him. Be supportive, follow all the rules, try to eliminate roadblocks – but in the end only he can control his actions.

 

Know we’re here if you need us. Good luck, and can’t wait to see you on the Loser’s Bench in our Winner’s Circle.

Thank you for all of the kind words and advice.  I'm working on getting my head in the right place.  Reading my original post and responses, I'm realizing that most of the pressure I feel is coming from myself.  I have to work on changing my thinking and realize that I can only be responsible for my actions.  It's hard to get used to.  I'm the one who always takes care of everyone and wants to fix things.

I'm trying to stay nice and relaxed before Tuesday.  I still panic every once in awhile.  I'll be much happier once it's all over.  I stress out completely about going to the hospital and all of the things before the procedure.  Most times it's never been as bad as I thought it would be.

Wendy