Yesterday I Hit The 2 Week Mark

My lap-band surgery is scheduled for April 26th.  It has been a struggle for the past 18 months just to get to this point.  About this time last year, my surgery was denied because of one weight in 2007 that put my just under what the insurance company wanted as my BMI.  There was no consideration of the sleep apnea, COPD, HTN or hypothyroidism that i have. 

I went into self-destruct mode for a short while and gained even more weight.  After all, why should I care?  The insurance company didn't.  Then I straightened out and realized that was NOT going to help my cause any, at least as far as my health issues are concerned. 

I decided that I was once again going to try to do this on my own.  I found a weight lose center near me and decided I was going to start working their program.  I lost 15 pounds over 6 weeks and was not struggling at all with what I could or could not eat.  I modified it for my own tastes and was basically was working the WW program that I already knew and had lost 134#'s with.  I was psyched and then I just stopped.  I tried prescribed diet pills.  I just could not get back on track.  

I know everyone here has gone through similar situations.  I know I am not unique.  Therefore, I feel that here would be a good place to ask this question.  As your surgery date drew closer, did self-doubts and fears start creeping into the back of your mind? 

Yesterday was a very rough day for me.  I was on the verge of tears every time I thought about having made it to the two week to go mark.  I have been looking forward to this day for so long that it seems so silly to be ready to cry at the drop of a hat.  It seemed as though I would burst into tears if the WALL looked at me the wrong way.  LOL

Am I making any sense?  Thank you for any input or experiences that you might have to share. 

Hey...don't worry you are making the right decision.  Surgery is a scary thing but you will do great! 

P.S. I graduated Lacey Township HS in '88.

I know that i have made the right decision.  I am just starting to feel overwhelmed now that the new beginning is fast approaching.

I am actually from Vermont originally.  My middle son is a freshman at LHS.  The youngest is in the Middle School. 

Sandi

What you are feeling/experiencing is normal. Your emotions are all over the place, and they should be. You are in the final stages of a life you know so well, and probably dislike. You’ll soon be entering a new stage of life which is filled with lots of uncertainties. But remember we are here to help you, no matter what.

 

Embrace all your feelings, and celebrate them (even if it means crying). One day you’ll look back on all of this with fondness and wonder.

What you are feeling/experincing is normal

Thank you, Tom.  It is very reassuring to know that what I am feeling is normal.  This way I can know that I am not going off the deep end.  I have been looking at many of the before and after pictures here on the website.  I think part of my anxiety is that I want to do every bit as well as everyone I see.  My old issues of self-doubt and no self-confidence creep back in and I catch myself already looking at the negatives. 

Thank you for doing the nearly impossible ... making me feel normal!!  LOL

Sandi

Sandi, (and all)

DO NOT COMPARE YOUR SUCCESS BASED ON SOMEONE ELSE !! This isn't a race or competition. While we're all set on one goal, getting healthy, we all have our own definition of what that goal is - and we all start from different points.

A 100 pound lost for one can be as effective or momentous as a 200 pound or 10 pound lost. Go at your own pace, choose your own goal, and set a realistic time line. Mine is 5 years. It took me 40+ years to become 435 pounds. Looking at 5 years to be 220 is very aggressive, wouldn't you say? By rights it should take me 10 or 20 or 30 years, but 5 is my number. And if I don't make it, well I have another 5 to try. And if I live to be 80 and never hit 220, but never go over 250 - then I would have won because (A) I lived to be an old man (B) I am 190 pounds lighter than when I began.