Horrible day, trying to think things through rationally...really long post

Ok, this was going to be a great day.  I was scheduled for my pre-op class, so excited, I have hardly been able to contain myself all day.

Until I got to the surgeon's office.

Turns out, i was given the wrong date.  The class for RNY is tomorrow not today.  The girl at the reception desk didn't even say she was sorry, just said, you'll have to come back tomorrow, you're here on the wrong day. 

Let me just say that I've never gotten an appointment wrong before.  I'm really good at that sort of thing, very organized.

I explained to her that I had taken the afternoon off (I'm a contractor, so that means no pay at all), and that my husband had taken the afternoon off to come with me.  And that I have a biopsy scheduled at the OBGYN tomorrow afternoon, so it's not just a matter of "coming back tomorrow".  We live in Wrren County, this is not a drive across town.  She said, without a hint of compassion, well, you'll have to come bac k tomorrow or you can't have the surgery.  I asked to talk to the manager,who was, if possible, even less compassionate and not even an "I'm sorry this happened".  She said they called to confirm (yes, they did, i can't say whether or not they mentioned the date when they confirmed, I really don't remember). and that' she teaches the class and that she's very busy and cannot do anything special for anyone.

i was pretty calm, I asked her to have my recods c opied while I waited so that I could go to another surgeon, and asked to speak with the doctor.  she said that she doubted he would have time for me, but that that was fine, I could go elsewhere.  Clearly they have plenty of business, they obviously don't need me.

So, we went back to the waiting room to wait for the records and to see the doctor, and I called the obgyn to see if there'a any way to reschedule the biopsy.  The problem with it is, it takes a week for the results, so it has to be done this week to get clearance for surgery on 1/25.  Monday is a holiday.  no luck, they were really nice when I explained the situation, and said they would call me if there's a cancellation for tomorrow or friday.

At that point, in the waiting room, I burst into tears.  I've been waiting months, and it all just became too much.  I'm sure my husband was dying of embarrassment, but he was very comforting, but I couldn't stop, so I said let's just go.  So we left without the records or seeing the doctor.

it's 1.5 hours to get home from Morristown.  On the way home, the obgyn's office called, the receptionist had explained the situation to the doctor and he agreed to stay late, and add an appointment for me to have the endometrial biopsy at 4:30 on Friday afternoon (now THAT's customer service).  I was so happy.  I had yet another appointment at the sleep center on friday, but I called them, and they moved my appointment there to Monday.  I decided I really wanted to go to the class, even though I have a bad feeling about the office staff.  I called the surgeon's office, and the same receptionist told me the manager was in a meeting so I asked her for voice mail, so I could tell her I'd be coming.  Receptionist asked for my name, said, 'oh" when I told her, and said I'll see if she can talk to you.  I waited 15 minutes, then decided it wasn't worth my cell battery (still on the ride home).  I hung up.  They never called me back.

Here's my dilemma.

I really want the surgery, NOW, and I really have a lot of respect for Dr. Bertha - I woujld like him to do it.  But all along the way, the office has lost paperwork, claimed they never got things, and didn't respond when I had questions, until the third phone call.  The questions I entered on claritymd were not responded to at all.

How important is the office after surgery?  I know I was upset this afternoon and overreacted, saying I would go to someone else, but  SHOULD  I have a warm fuzzy about the office as well as the surgeon, maybe I'm not at the right office for me?   I don't think i was treated with respect today, even though I was very polite about the mixup, or at least more polite than they were to me.  I never raised my voice (unless you count the sobbing in the waiting room :-) )I think I'm going to the class and I'm going ahead with the surgery, but I just have this icky feeling now and I hate that.  I want it to go away.  They could have handled this better.  I should be feeling better about them.  Would a person *****spects herself go back there?

I'm interested in your opinions.  I think I'll post this both on jersey and PA...

Elizabeth

Hi Elizabeth

I had my surgery almost 2 1/2 years ago by another doctor because I had a horrible experience with Dr. Bertha.  He made me go through all the appointments and pre-surgery approvals from my regular doctors and told me to lose 20 lbs.  I went back to him after all the appointments and after losing 30 lbs expecting to get a date to hear him say he would not do the surgery due to a medical condition he knew about from day one!  

I know MANY people on this board love that office but I have also heard other stories similar to mine where people were not treated respectfully.

The decision is yours but you have to feel comfortable with the doctor and I believe the staff.  You will be visiting the office over the next few years at minimum so you will have to deal with them.

I'm sure you will get many responses with good comments about Dr. Bertha and his office - this was just my experience but sometimes it is good to hear ALL sides.

Good Luck with your surgery!  If you decide to check another doctor, you might consider Dr. Garrison at St. Clares in Dover.  He is an excellent doctor and he and his office staff are very compassionate.

Either way, I am sure you will do GREAT!  Your committment is what will get you through the surgery and your new journey!

Good Luck,
Vicki

Hi Elizabeth...
Take deeeep breaths and try not to freak out.  I think you should continue with your surgeon, and realize that althought the staff aren't warm and fuzzy, it's the surgeon's skill that is most important at this time.  You already know you are going to have to double check and question everything from the office staff from this point forward.  You are your best advocate.  I'm kind of suprised that Bertha's office has been so hands off with your case....his office staff is what put me off from that practice in the first place.  They made me feel like I had a dollar sign stamped on my forehead, and I felt harassed by them until I told them to back off and stop calling me until I decided what surgery I was going to have, when and by which surgeon.

I am using a different bariatric surgeon than yours.  I don't get a warm and fuzzy feeling from his staff either, and I  have caught errors and corrected them as they came up ..however I don't feel neglected, harassed or intimidated when I point out concerns and questions to them.

I understand the travelling and distance issues too  because I'm in Sussex and traffic is horrendous in rush hour heading to FP and Livingston.

Hang in there :)

Ultimately, it's going to come down to you deciding what you can and can not tolerate.

IF you are totally comfortable with the surgeon and confident in his skill level, is it really all that important that you "get along" with the staff?  For myself, I am almost 3 years out from my surgery, and I have only been to the surgeon's office a handful of times post-op.

Now, I'm not saying that their attitude towards and treatment of you aren't important... by no means.  But, since you're having the RNY, it's not like you will be in the office regularly (for instance, if you were having the Band and needed to go in for fills, etc.)

I hope that you are able to find your peace on this issue.  And I wish you the best of luck no matter what you choose.

~wendy

Elizabeth,

 

What I am about to say IS VERY BIAS because I am very pro ALS (Doctor’s Abkin, Bertha, Iannace) so take it for what it’s worth.

 

It has been my observation that recently it seems the office staff has changed frequently, and I think these “newer" folks are still “learning the ropes". While this does not excuse customer service (which IMHO is lacking in ALL SERVICES), it may explain the confusion and/or miscommunication.

 

Knowing all three Doctors, each patient is very important to them. I think they would be very concerned about this. You may want to mention it the next time you see Doctor Bertha.

Thanks everyone for youru replies.  I really appreciate your feedback.

Yesterday, I was in child mode - wanting to stomp my feet and say "it's all ruined" because things went so badly yesterday.  I had a sort of childlike anticipation of yesterday, very excited about it - I've lost that, but none of the reasons for surgery have changed, it's what I want and need to do.

Today, after reflection, and with your help, I'm feeling a little more mature.  I've fixed what I can, and I'll go to the class and hope that all goes forward.  You're all correct, it's the surgeon that is important, everything else I can manage.   Things wont necessarily get easier or be all rosy along the way, and I need to cowboy up and deal with each little setback as I come across it.

Thanks again,

Elizabeth

 

Hi Elizabeth -
I don't think your behavior was child like at all.  I think the staff (in your office and mine) need  some sensitivity training.  Don't apologize for your meltdown.  I would of been hysterical too.

Bariatric is a HUGE life altering decision, and I know the different emotions (anticipation, fear, hope, etc) and even though it's just another day in the office for the office staff, it's *our* life and *our" health, and there should be a whole lot more understanding and attention to detail.  If they can't provide that, they need to look for a job doing something else.

Hope your class was uneventful today :)

Best Wishes

hmmm... i dont think you've over reacted at all !! i dont even see the staff after surg i call book my appt show up sign in then get filled and im out

Elizabeth,
I am always shocked when I read stories like this.  First, I know if I was there and asked to see my surgeon, he'd fit me in -- no questions about it.  I had mentioned in passing to him at a support group meeting that i was having dizzy spells when I do my ab work at my exercise class...he immediately pulled out his card and told me to call so they could fax me a script and to get my blood work done.  I did it, and he called, himself, not his office...on a Saturday(also a jewish holiday so he should have been spending the time with his family) to call me and let me know the results were perfect.  But that's how he is and I am very blessed.

I believe that follow up is very important to our success..I've also heard stories where people never see their sureon after surgery -- always a nurse or an assistant. I've never had an appointment where I didn't meet with Dr. Neff or where he didn't say before we ended, "Is there anything else I can do to make sure you reach your goals". 

If it was me -- I'd check out a few more surgeons.  What happens after surgery if you have a question or need him.  It sounds like your just a number to them..and that's just not something I would like.

Good luck with your decision..and your surgery.