OT: New Jersey Driving Rules
I thought this was cute. Enjoy!
How To Drive In Jersey...
Seriously, there are only two things needed to drive effectively in NJ:
A horn and a middle finger. Everything else is superfluous, including
knowing where you are going.
For those of you who live in Jersey or have lived there, these things
may come as no surprise. For those who haven't traveled there before,
Beware, Be Prepared and Be Afraid... Be Very Afraid.
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is Nork - rhymes
with Fork, not New-ark. Also, Trenton is not pronounced Tren-ton, it is
Trent-in.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5 AM to NOON. The evening rush hour is
from NOON to 7 PM. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph. On the
parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered "Sissy."
(Just
ask the Governor of NJ)
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey has its own
version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second; However, in Monmouth and Burlington counties, SUV-driving,
cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
6. Never honk at anyone. EVER ! Seriously. It's another offense that
can get you shot.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey.
Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during
the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more
exciting.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners,
deer and other road kill, and the Homeless feeding on any of these
items.
9. MapQuest does NOT work here -- none of the roads are where they say
they are or go where they say they do and all the Turnpike EZ Pass lanes
are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting.
10. If someone actually has their Turn Signal ON, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone,
you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly.
If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon
for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday appointments, and
right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
SAFE DRIVING ! ! !
How To Drive In Jersey...
Seriously, there are only two things needed to drive effectively in NJ:
A horn and a middle finger. Everything else is superfluous, including
knowing where you are going.
For those of you who live in Jersey or have lived there, these things
may come as no surprise. For those who haven't traveled there before,
Beware, Be Prepared and Be Afraid... Be Very Afraid.
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is Nork - rhymes
with Fork, not New-ark. Also, Trenton is not pronounced Tren-ton, it is
Trent-in.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5 AM to NOON. The evening rush hour is
from NOON to 7 PM. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph. On the
parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered "Sissy."
(Just
ask the Governor of NJ)
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey has its own
version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second; However, in Monmouth and Burlington counties, SUV-driving,
cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
6. Never honk at anyone. EVER ! Seriously. It's another offense that
can get you shot.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey.
Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during
the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more
exciting.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners,
deer and other road kill, and the Homeless feeding on any of these
items.
9. MapQuest does NOT work here -- none of the roads are where they say
they are or go where they say they do and all the Turnpike EZ Pass lanes
are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting.
10. If someone actually has their Turn Signal ON, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone,
you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly.
If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon
for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday appointments, and
right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
SAFE DRIVING ! ! !
Terrific! I'd like to add: Do not, under any cir****tances, trust your GPS in NJ. Do not cross the local/express barrier on the Turnpike (unmarked cars love this). Also, if you really MUST drive with your signal on and not actually turning/changing lanes please have a really good excuse. Cars come with turn signals, please consider using them. Oops, does not apply in NJ for NJ drivers, only 'foreigners.'
Be safe. Thanks for a nice giggle.
Andrea
Be safe. Thanks for a nice giggle.
Andrea
This list missed two NJ biggies:
1) Traffic Circles
The driver's manual states that there is no hard and fast rule for traffic circles. The rule of thumb is that the main road going into the circle has the right of way. This differs from most other states lucky ****nought to have circles, or rotaries, which I have just learned are considered different from traffic circles, with their own rules. Sheesh!
NEVER EVER EVER believe that NJ drivers will actually obey the yield signs that are posted at the lesser roads feeding into a traffic circle.
I live in Flemington, which is fortunate enough to have not one, not two, but THREE traffic circles.
2) Jughandles
Okay folks, you all must have some good comments on these!!!!
Mary Ann
1) Traffic Circles
The driver's manual states that there is no hard and fast rule for traffic circles. The rule of thumb is that the main road going into the circle has the right of way. This differs from most other states lucky ****nought to have circles, or rotaries, which I have just learned are considered different from traffic circles, with their own rules. Sheesh!
NEVER EVER EVER believe that NJ drivers will actually obey the yield signs that are posted at the lesser roads feeding into a traffic circle.
I live in Flemington, which is fortunate enough to have not one, not two, but THREE traffic circles.
2) Jughandles
Okay folks, you all must have some good comments on these!!!!
Mary Ann
Aha, that is so true about yielding!
As for traffic circles, the concensus seems to be whatever works in that neighborhood! In some circles, people *in* the circle have the right of way. In others, people entering or exiting have the right of way. We just need to learn what the rule is for each circle in different towns. :P
And jughandles! I'd never heard of them before until I moved to NJ. Whoever heard of making a right turn to go left? LOL!
As for traffic circles, the concensus seems to be whatever works in that neighborhood! In some circles, people *in* the circle have the right of way. In others, people entering or exiting have the right of way. We just need to learn what the rule is for each circle in different towns. :P
And jughandles! I'd never heard of them before until I moved to NJ. Whoever heard of making a right turn to go left? LOL!
touche' touche'touche' ladies. I was born and raised is south jersey. Of course all of the things on the presented list do apply but South Jersey and North Jersey are two different countries.lol. I moved away from Jersey almost 3 yrs ago and almost go into a panic attack each time I return. ie this past week end where I survived a week end with my grown children. ( ages 27 and 32 yrs not months, lol) 
I really enjoyed the list of driving rules for jersey.
thanks for making me laugh this morning.
never settle for less than you deserve and you deserve the best.
Hugs and giggles from Baltimore
Lori
I really enjoyed the list of driving rules for jersey.
thanks for making me laugh this morning.
never settle for less than you deserve and you deserve the best.
Hugs and giggles from Baltimore
Lori
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