Fear

I am really fearful that I will forever be fat.  I have a friend still in the hosptial after complications for two years.  He never left the hospital.  family is NOT in favor of me having this surgery.  I do not know what to do.  I only know that I am not able to eat right, exercise, and loose weight on my own.  I am 295 bad arthritic knees (can't exercise cause it hurts too much) I'm 40 and I have to ride a scooter around my college campus...how embarassing is that???  I don't show it on my face, but I feel it everyday I go to school.  I tried getting into the pool at the YMCA but I well up with embarrassment, and can't bring myself to go back. 

I k now there has to be someone on here that can relate.  Please tell me how you overcame or pressed forward.  I could really use some help here.  My heart is filled with sorrow right now and I don't want to feel like this when I have so many wonderful things in my life to be thankful for.

Thanks

Hi

I am sure there are alot of us that can relate to all or part of your story.  I'm sorry to hear about your friend.  Understandably your family is concerned for you.  First, make sure YOU learn and understand all the risks and rewards that can come from the surgery.

If you have learned all about the surgery and made your decision, why not try to educate them?  Sometimes families are so concerned because they only hear of the bad cases or people, like you friend, that have problems.  Take them to a seminar where they can ask their own questions or talk to a doctor or nurse or even just others that have had the surgery.

You, as well as your family, need to understand all the good and bad that can come from the surgery.   The surgery can be life-saving but we all know it has potential risks - some very serious.  Knowing your own history will help you understand your risk of complications.

Seek help from your own doctor if they will not attend a seminar.  Maybe he/she can provide you with reading material that might make them feel better about your decision. 

Good Luck!

I understand the embarrassment issue.  I had lapband surgery on 10/13/08 and have been taking exercise classes at the Y.  I am the heaviest in some of the classes and suffered humiliation when the teacher asked if I had bad knees  because I couldn't do some of the cardio exercises like kneeling or squats (to which I responded - proudly - that I had weight loss surgery recently and am trying to get my body back).  In an abs class, the teacher poked me in the belly (which is very soft) when I asked which class it was, and then asked if I ever did any ab exercises and told me to do what I could (sympathetic but not encouraging).  But I am determined to turn my humiliation into assertiveness and will continue to take those classes because they are a challenge!  So the point is - yes - we all suffer embarrassment but we have to start somewhere and if we don't start, we'll not change and isn't this all about change?!    So get back in that pool and conquer that embarrassment.  Regarding the surgery, bring your family members to your dr's seminar and get them educated about the health benefits of the surgery vs the risks of obesity.  You have to be committed to change for the surgery to work. Good luck!

There's probably a majority on here that can relate.   We're are posting on OBESITY help, right?  This is the place to express your fears, and get a supportive answer.  Everyone here must have concerns with their weight and health....  I can certainly relate to your post.  I was 430 (yep, you read it right) pounds when I started exploring WLS.....  I was such a newbie...  I didn't know about the different kinds, or long term results or anything.  I read this board, and several others for months....and read anything about WLS I could get my hands on.   My family wasn't really involved with the decision...  I had to pick what was going to help me, for the next 40 or 50 years....  (God willing)...  and then I started interviewing doctors....  and I found one I liked....and spent the next 2 years fighting BC/BS over paying for it.  I finally won, got my surgery.... and now I've lost about 225 pounds.....  (2 years).....  My health is so improved....  it is amazing!   Fear is OK, as long as it makes you think and research....  if it forces you into inertia, then it serves no purpose.   Think of how your weight is affecting your health, your life....and what would change if you lost weight.  It wouldn't cure your arthritis, but it may make the symptoms easier to manage.    You may not be able to swim like Phelps, but you might be willing to get into the pool!  :)    
   If I could have lost weight on my own,  somewhere in the last 40+ years, I would have.  I needed help, from a surgeon....and now I can.  I've made my peace with my imperfections...it may take the rest of the world a little longer....
  Well, keep posting....you have to realize you're not in this alone....  this whole Board is filled with people trying to change their weight!   The Jersey board isn't too busy, but eventually your posts will get acknowledged!  If and when you pick a type of WLS, read their boards too....there's a ton of useful info about pre and post op care on them!
  Good Luck.....Mary C

Everyone is scared going into this, I was terrified until about a month post op.  You have to make sure that you research your doctor really well as well as checking out live support groups, they can give you a better idea of what to expect after surgery.  You're always going to hear horror stories as well as success stories but ultimately it's not your family's decision, it's yours.

I started just over 6 months ago at 275 pounds (maybe more, I was afraid to get on the scale after my initial doctors visit in March), and now I'm 196.  I have another 40 to go and while it has not been easy it was definitely the right decision for me.  There are so many surgeries out there, please research them all to determine which one is the right one for you.

Good luck,
Michelle

It's normal to have fear...if you didn't I'd think something was wrong.  Yes, a small percentage of people have terrible complications. I was one of the "lucky" ones...but guess what...even knowing i'd have complications I'd do it all over again because I've got my health and my life back. I probably added 40 years to my life expectancy and I'll be around to see my son grow up (god willing)...I was willing to risk my life and I did just that but it's all been worth it and I have ZERO regrets.  As long as you're confident in your surgeon then that's all that matters, everything else is in Gods hands. I'm sure you'll have plenty of people praying for you!

I go to fitness for women in Brick, there is also Toms River Fitness that has women only pools.  They are very understanding and don't ask you to do any more then you can handle.  They have plenty of heavy women there along with older women.  They offer many classes along with different levels.  I also have bad knees so that is why I only do water classes right now.  Good luck to you.

Thank you to those of you who have replyed to my post.  I only have a choice between two doctors and one of them will not even see me unless I loose 80lbs.  There are only three doctors in NJ that accept medicare as well as medicaid.  I cannot afford to have to pay for this surgery because I am on disability.  I have to trust that this doctor i will be meeting on the 22nd knows what he is doing.  I have researched surgeries for the past 5 years and I think that the lapband is for me, but I am still unsure.  I will ask the surgeon what he thinks.  I know you all know what it feels like to be sick and tired of being fat and feeling helpless about changing it.  I will have to wait till I talk to the surgeon and then go from there.