My 5-Year Surgiversary - Hurt and Angry! (LONG)

Hi Nanette & others, I'm new to the forum, but my RNY Gastric Bypass was in March 1999, the  'stone age' of such surgery, long before laparoscopic was part of the deal. I was 54 years old, 5ft 6 inches, & weighed 285.  I have severe osteoarthritis and degenerative disc disease that limits my mobility.  All previous weight-loss programs had been a pattern of the yo-yo syndrome: lost 50, gained back 75; lost 75, gained back 100!  At the time, it seemed that the bypass was a more permanent solution, one where my failure to control my eating would be out of my hands. As most of you know already, it's not that easy.  Over time the pouch does expand to accomodate the 'little bit extra' you add to your daily regimen and your life-long obsession with food comes back to haunt you again.  If we weren't sick people, we wouldn't have been so desperate that we went to the extreme of the medical option to begin with!  If we had the will power to control our eating and excercise regularly, wouldn't it make sense for us to all just be out there doing it instead of sitting at our computers?  But that's not how we are made -- or at least not how I am made.  So I've tried to find a reasonable middle ground.   I excercise twice daily to keep my arthritic joints limber.  It's painful at first, but moving loosens them up and helps me to keep my mobility. I try my best to keep plenty of fresh fruit and low-fat yogurt in the house and I am never without a large mug of ice water. But now, as I approach the 10th anniversary of my surgery, my weight is 220.  It's been reasonably stable at that number for the last 5 years but I have heard about the revision surgery and hoped that I could improve on my weight loss by tightening my pouch again.  I just celebrated my 63rd birthday and those pounds are getting harder to cart around! I was concerned when I read your comments about your experience with the Stomophyx procedure: "I even scraped the money together (over $9,000) in order to have the experimental Stomophyx procedure to tighten my stoma back in October – well, I’m ten pounds heavier now, than when I had that procedure done!" Is this typical of the results of patients overall?  Has anyone else had this done?  Did you have a loss and then a net gain? Thanks for any advice you can give me, Sue

Sue - while my results with the Stomophyx (gaining afterward) may not be typical, I am finding that overall, most patients that have not been succesful - you can check out the Revisions Board here on OH for more info -- the Dr told me that he is having a 50% success rate - a number that I think is inflated, but that is only my opinion.  You definately don't get the restriction feeling back that you had right after RNY.  Since you had RNY so long ago, your pouch may not have been transected and you may have suffered a staple line disruption -- You should have Dr Brolin check it out - that could qualify you with insurance for a RNY revision to repair the disruption.

Good luck.

Nannette

Hi Nannette: I met you once last summer when I came to the TR support group and am a friend of Robin's who has been keeping me informed of the group and your wonderful leadership and a few of the challenges you have been sharing with the group. You are an inspiration to many....I run a support group in Union County and I feel that I need to be a role model to the attendees, many of them have told me how I am an inspiration to them and they can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know you are in the same situation, you don't want to let others down, i.e. your hubby, your support group, etc. It takes courage to share your challenges with everyone. I admire you for it. I fear every day that I will gain the weight back...at 19 months out I am struggling to maintain the weight...I was not obsessed with food like many others have shared yet I do like to "nosh" and "graze" and I worry that will make the lbs creep up! My friend, Julie, who is 5 years out, has maintained her weight loss and looks wonderful. She is my role model and inspiration and I know how much I need her in my life. I have a few suggestions to you that haven't been mentioned previously:
1. Find a "buddy"...someone who has been successful at keeping the weight off for 5+ years who can be your role model...you need someone to look up to also. That person will be there for you for encouragement and advice and be a shoulder to cry on...sort of like a "sponsor".
2. Get back to the gym and hire a personal trainer. Buy a 10 session package and meet with the trainer twice a week...I would interview a few to see who you mesh with, maybe someone your age who has been through or seen what you are going through...I think you will come to like the gym again. At the gym I go to there are many many exercise classes and you need to find some that you enjoy so you look forward to going. I do fit ball, zumba, abs express, nia...many are only 30 min. classes but do get you revved up. I like using the elliptical machine and have managed to work my way up to 25 minutes, getting my heart rate up and have succeeded in toning my legs and thighs. I work out with weights once a week (not my favorite thing). I don't like exercise either but have managed to find things I like so I look forward to going.
3. Surround yourself with positive people, attend other support groups (you can come to mine).
4. Try the 5 day pouch test, go back to protein shakes twice a day.
5. Throw away all the trigger foods that make you graze. If you are "hungry" eat cottage cheese, yogurt with walnuts, etc. I too have a problem with night eating. Put signs in your kitchen that say NO EATING AFTER 8pm! Leave the kitchen and hang out on the computer...mine is upstairs, far away from food! If your hubby wants a little treat, have him go out to get it so you are not tempted.
6. If counseling hasn't worked, perhaps you need a new counselor, someone who specializes in weight loss surgery counseling...there are such an animal out there!

Please remember that we are here for you, thank you for having the guts to admit defeat and let us know that it's not a sealed deal. I appreciate your honesty.

I hope to get to TR this summer and hope that when I do you will have conquered your weight loss challenges!

Good luck.

Hi Sherry - yes, I remember you -- Thanks for your support. I have tried several of the things you've mentioned -- unfortunately with little luck -- part of the problem is timing and distance.  Every counselor I have found that specializes in weight loss is very far away from Ocean County -- that combined with the time that I get home from work (since I work in NYC) and the fact that many don't have weekend hours make it difficult to go to someone near home -- add to that no insurance coverage, and expense -- and right now, I cannot do it. I have done several 10-week sessions last year with a personal trainer while trying to nip this thing in the bud -- no luck, though she and I did 'click.'

I have been making an extra effort this past week, with the support of everyone here that has been most gracious and helpful in my struggle -- I have managed to get back to daily walking of at least 30 minutes a day, sometimes longer, and keeping my grazing down.  I am down 6 pounds right now, and this week will be the challenge to see if I can keep this momentum going. Thanks again for your support. Nannette

You are on the right track, I think you should find a buddy for support...someone who is 5+ years out who has faced the same struggles and knows what you are going through. I'm sure if you post on the WLS Graduates board, you will find someone. Buddies work well with AA, OA, etc. so it may be a good solution for you. Keeping a food diary is beneficial too...and maybe getting back to using fitday.com. Good luck, 6 lbs and going down down down!

I know you can keep up the momentum!!! Keep on doing that walkin'. You are such an inspiration. Congrats on the 6 pound lose!!!!! Best of Luck to you Nannette. Hugs, Lois

I've been thinking of you alot after the meeting in Lakewood....my offer still stands...I'll walk anytime after you get off the bus...even 9 at night which seems to be your hardest. I won't pester you...but we sure live close enough not to take advantage of the proximity! Robin

Hi sweetie -- I definately will take you up on it!  How about Thursday night this week?  We could get together when I get off the bus -- about 7:30pm.  If the weather is good, we can walk outside, if it is rainy, we can mall walk! let me know.  Do you have my digits?  I believe I have yours - PM me.  Thanks for the support. I do feel better this week. Hugs, Nannette

Hi Nannette:  I am sorry I missed the Lakewood support group meeting this month.  I am preparing for revision surgery this Monday, (removal of lap band and RNY) and I read your post a few days ago.  You are on my mind and I am trying to find the right words to help, you have been very helpful to me over the years, offering wise counsel.  I can't seem to shake the chill I got from reading about how your husband "had a talk with you about your weight" and from your question, "Does He Really Love me?"  This makes me think of the movie Moonstruck, where Cher tells Nicolas Cage he was a wolf, a wolf who chewed off his foot to get out of marrying a woman.  Maybe you are "chewing off your foot" by gaining weight, something you know is intolerable for him.  Maybe I am just blowing smoke out of my ears, who knows?  My good thoughts and prayers are with you to help you figure this out and get back on track.   Much love, Michele

Dear Nanette, Others have answered you with anything I could suggest.  I just wanted you to know that your posts here are valuable, and I have often read them.  I'm glad you shared this with us, and hope we can be there to support you.  Keep trying, and keep posting!  Don't give up.  You've come so far....  you can get back on track!  Wishing you an easier future,  Mary C