Please help...

Please help... I am going to the seminar run by the Dr I am looking to to do my WLS. Can everyone , through their experience, give me some advice on what questions I should ask, what I should look for etc.... Your help would greatly be appreciated. Also, I have an Aunt who in September had the Lap Band and I was researching the lap band at that time...now I am more interested in the RNY because of the Malaabsorption factor, results factor and i think it is a better tool for me..she has lost almost 40 pounds in 4 plus months..I just recently told her about th eseminar Im going to and because of research Im more interested in th eRNY..and she is somewhat upset..She said How can you do that to yourself...its a terrible thing..your cutting parts of your body out and she even said to me she would rather be fat than have the RNY.. she was on eof my greatest supporters but now appears to be changing her mind..Has anyone dealt with this situation and how did you handle it? Thank you - Your newbie Stacey 

It's a decision between you and your surgeon, not you and your aunt.  I would just explain that the doctor thinks this is the best route for your body and needs.  She is probably just worried b/c RNY is viewed as "riskier" by some people.  There could be a lot going on there.  My experiences are outlined in my profile.  I found when I was considering RNY, reading profiles really helped me.

Stacey, I would ask them about fatalities and complication rates.  # of surgeries performed, how many years in practice.  Which surgery do THEY prefer and why?  What are follow up requirments?  Do they have a nutritionist ON STAFF to help guide you?  I am a firm believer in a lot of professional post op support - you will need it.  I find people with less support are often more confused and therefore can have complication rates higher than average. As far as the support issue - I didn't have your issue per say.  I do have a brother who was absolutely TOTALLY against me having the surgery.  He is one of the only ones without a weight issue in the family (he did, however, have a very serious drug problem)  He came to see me ONCE after the surgery - and as he got up to leave he said "I came just to see that you were OK because I was scared.  I'm still mad at  you for having the surgery and I don't want to discuss it any further"  I accepted that.  This past weekend was the FIRST time he ever said anything to me about the surgery since that previous day (3 months out today, by the way)  I also had people tell me I was to young (I'm 27) and that I didn't know what I was getting into.....among many other comments.  I chose not to tell many people about it because of these factors, until after the surgery was completed.  As far as the negativity was concerned, I simply told them that I appreciate their concerns, they are valid, but I have done my research and feel that this was the only way I could grab this by the horns and continue on with a healthy life style.  As far as RNY vs Lap Band, for me personally (and it IS a personal decision), I KNEW I needed something to control what I put into my mouth.  I was more of a grazer than a large consumption at one time type of eater.  Eating candy and chips and cakes got me to 235.  I wanted the fear of being sick from eating to much of the fat and sugar.  I understand the fear goes away - but right now I am changing my life so that when that fear does eventually diminish and I become "brave" I will hopefully already have in place a life style where those foods belong.  It's the same reason I did not go for the DS.  I wanted to HAVE to eat better.  Also, the RNY works a bit better for me as it does require you to eat every 3 hours or so - and although it's not "grazing" and although you have to take your time and get used to eating when you really don't want to - it was by far the best decision possible. Like I said, I'm a believer in follow up.  HOWEVER, I did NOT want to have to go to my surgeon for fills and decreases in the band.  I also didn't want a port in me.  I personally would rather have my insides manipulated than to put a foreign object inside of me.  I feel those risks are worse - but many people will disagree with me.  I also like the malabsorption factor of RNY. No matter which surgery, it is your decision and yours alone.  If people cannot accept that, simply tell them that the topic is no longer up for discussion.  Pre surgery you need positive re inforcement.  And if because of their beliefs they cannot provide that for you (which is their right) then they must simply accept the fact that YOU WILL NOT TOLERATE THEIR NEGATIVE COMMENTS AND THE CONVERSATION IS SIMPLY CLOSED.  It is hard to tell people this - but it must be done. I know I spoke  a lot of strong words here, and I hope I don't offend. I'm 3 mos post op, LOVE my RNY.  It has NOT been an easy road.  I struggle daily with food issues, I struggle daily with not eating to fast.  I struggle with getting my butt to the gym most days.  However, I am losing weight.  I am making healthy choices.  I am getting my vitamins in (Oh, that's another good point.  Because of mal absorption, you will have to be willing to take a myriad of vitamin supplements after RNY.  Be sure you can commit to this)  My blood work came back almost perfect.  My blood pressure is now once again within normal limits.  I sleep better because my sleep apnea has improved.  I am no longer a pre diabetic and no longer having dangerous sugar drops (I was hypoglycemic which I was promised would lead to diabetes with my family history)  My back and knees and legs do not ache after working.  (Ok so my legs still ache after the gym - but it's a different kind of ache!  Muscle vs. joint) Hope this helps. You can also read the following: The Real Skinny on Weight Loss Surgery (VERY funny and informative.  Written by 2 post ops) Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies (co-written by Al Roker from the news, also a post op) The emotional First Aid Kit - a practical guide for life after bariatric surgery  Excellent in depth analysis of our daily pre op struggles, how to handle discouraging comments, the MENTAL toll WLS has on a person (they fix our tummies, not our heads) Can't wait to follow whichever path you choose with you! Pam

Thank you everyone...Your words of support are so appreciated...My Aunt feels that she is a success but to me her success is not the same as mine. She had the lap band pu tin on a Wednesday and was eating Bacon (fried) and Chicken Salad. I said to her are you allowed to eat those kind of foods she s aid sure I just eat less of them...In my head I thought what the heck is going on my husband and I were both shocked.  My feeling is is that if you have WLS it should be used as a tool to adopt a whole new lifestyle...a better one...she still eats bad foods..just not as much...and doesn't do an ounce of exercise...I have asked her to go walking with me and she refuses...I suggest light foods and she will not have any of it...to me if you are going to g o through a WLS and still continue with the same bad behaviors..then it isn't worth it, becaus eyou haven't learned a thing. I said to her Im sure we would be hard pressed to find any credible Dr to say that he suggests that after you have a WLS you still eat th esame bad foods but just less and no exercise..and she did not have a reaction...I want to have WLS to aid me in adopting a new lifestyle...I want ot live longer..happier and healthier... The Dr I have chosen ( at this point) is Dr. Abkin...he seems to have a wonderful after care program ..actually their name is: Program  for Life..that is what I want..I dont want to have to have the surgery an dnever see anyone again...this is a life changing commitment that should take a lifetime of working at...It is not a quick fix by far...It's not the eay way out as some refer to it...It's my last resort..I have asthma..aching knees..back..joints...extremely severe acid reflux I have to take 2 Nexium pills at a time to control it...My sugar is naturally can drop low and I know Diabetes is an eventuallity at the road im on at 29 years old..my grandmother died from it..she had strokes and at 49 my father had one..I have to make a change.. I want to be alive long enough to hold my my daughter's first child and dance with my son at  his wedding.

Pam did a great job in her post and pretty much said it all.  Any WLS is only a tool which as you correctly realize should be used as an aid to developing a healthier life-style.  The only thing I could add refers to the Lap Band. When I originally started to seriously look into WLS I had many of the prejudices against RNY that you will run into in the general population and I thought the Band would be the best and most non- invasive approach. Then my Gastroenterologist refused to clear me for Band. I was diagnosed with severe reflux disease at 18 years old. According to my him with that and a fairly large hiatal hernia I would be at very high risk for complications such as band slippage. I twas devastated, but when I did a lot more research of the different options, and spent quite a bit of time lurking here and hearing from a variety of people with different types of WLS) found a lot of my misconceptions on WLS and  RNY derailed. RNY was not what I thought and realy was a better choice for me than the band would have been. I had surgery on December 3rd and I beleive having the RNY was a smart decision for me, my health, and my lifestyle. The best pre-op advice I recieved was to do as much research and learn as much as I could before I made my final decision. Not just what the surgery itself entails, but diet, and food progression, exercise, the surgeon, follow up care, supplements, short term and long term complications, etc......... I am starting to ramble so finally I'll say that whatever your final decision I wish you the best of luck in your journey. Linda

Hi Linda, How did you like Dr. Bertha's office? Staff? Program? etc... I am looking to see his partner Dr. Abkin. Thank You Stacey

Hi stacey,

Dr Bertha is my surgeon, he is wonderful. My surgery is on 2/4/2008. He is so honest. I also was hoping to have a band, but Dr Bertha told me that RNY was a better choice for me, but that it was totally up to me in which to get.

I like in Ocean, NJ and the only thing that is difficult is the drive up north...but at the end, everything is worth it.

Good Luck,

Miriam 

 

 

 

I attended two different seminars, spoke to several surgeons and actually started out with a different surgeon before finally switching to Dr Bertha. The office staff has been wonderful and I LOVE Dr Bertha!! I only met Dr Abkin once when he discharged me from the hospital, but he was very professional, kind, knowledgeable, and answered all my questions.  I work at Saint Peter's Hospital where I had the surgery so I also had the added benifit of being able to speak with a few nurses I know who work in the OR. Both Abkin and Bertha got the hightest recomendation from everyone I spoke to. The group was also strongly recommended by the hospital's chief of surgery. The pre-op class was a great experience. Long (like 3-4 hours), but done with a group of patients, we met with his Nurse Practitioner, a nutritionist, and one of the surgeons. It was a great, very informative, and very good preparation for what to expect from the hospital stay, post-op diet, possible complications, and follow up care. Since it was done as a group we were also able to share alot of information among ourselves. (I made sure to mention OH). Are you going to the seminar at Saint Peter's? I don't know when the next one is or what my schedule will be like that day, but as I said I work there so if you would like to meet beforehand and talk let me know.  Linda

Linda You do not know how much that makes me feel better..to know patients of theirs and the experiences... They seem to have a very thorough program including after care..Can I ask you a few questions...The seminar that I will be going to..Is that different than the pre-op class? I am thinking so.. but im tired and confused now... The seminar is actually in Mt Olive at a Wyndham Hotel..Any other suggestions? Any questions that you think I should ask? Why did the Dr prefer RNY ove rlap band? It seems that alot do... Thank you for all of the great info... Miriam Thank you for sharing your experience...I too am very far from the office...not too far from where you are..but I would travel far to go to the best..Any suggestions for me going to the seminar? Thank You Stacey

Hi Stacey: 1. The seminar is an overview of the different types of surgery and what they entail. May have patients speaking as to thier experiences. 2. The pre-op class is based on your surgery type only. What will happen, posssible complications, pre and post op instructions, and diet. The suggestyou bring someone with you also. My DH went with me and was a good learning experience for him. He was much more comfortable with my decision to have the surgery and has been a wonder in helping me because after the class he knew what I should be eating and drinking and how. 3. I don't know that the doctors prefer one surgery over the other. I believe that iit highly depends on each persons own situation. For me the preference ran to RNY based on my medical history and the weight I need to loose. 4,. For questions to ask a I found that a good reference is a book called WLS for Dummies. Aslo here on OH at http://www.obesityhelp.com/content/questionstoaskyoursurgeon .html is a lond list of questions that someone else compiled. I hope this helps... Linda