Emotional Rollercoaster

Hi Everyone, sorry I haven't been here lately but i am going through so many changes and right now an emotional rollercoaster. I have found that I have lost "me" and I can't seem to find where I went to. I don't mean the physical me but the emotional and ineer me. I still see the "FAT" person in the mirror even though I am down 125#. I would like to know if anyone here has or is going through this. Its very hard to get a hold of my emotions with everything in my life. I don't know if I have done anything or its a side effect of the surgery I am just so confused and don't know which way is up. Please if you can help me try and understand I would be much appreciative.

Hi Charlene, I don't understand why you should feel the way that you do.  Even though you lost 125#'s you are still you and you should never forget that.  Congratulations by the way on the weight loss.  If am right the reason for having the surgery was for you to be healthy and have more energy.  If you had any health problems before surgery you should feel much better now.  Remember God made you who you are and everyone is beautiful in their own way, never forget your blessings.  You have accomplished a lot and you should be proud of yourself.  So live each day as though it is your last I will be praying for you.  Keep up the good work,  and always remember to love yourself, because if you don't who will. Melissa 

Hi Melissa:  I didn't have really any health issues other than being heavy. I do feel much better now. I have accomplished so much nowits just getting used to it is what scares me a little. I do love myself its just hard sometimes when I try. I am happier just this roller coaster is reaking havoc on my family and its hard to stop and adjust.. THank you for the encouraging words. and God Bless

hi charlene i'm skinny --i'm thin -- i'm down 91 lbs -- i'm in a size 4 and they are getting big on me (WTF!!)  i see fat -- i see fat thighs -- i see hanging boobs -- i see the big belly when i sit down -- i see my belly fall over the top of my jeans (only if i lean forward) -- i see my neck hang if i turn my head a certain way -- i've been posting about this also  and the conclusion is -- it's normal  i was FAT For 23 years -- how can i NOT be fat now????? when they come up with happy pills to fix the "mental fat" i'll be the first one in line :)  take care of yourself  i'll be thinking of you  roberta

Thank you roberta for makin gme laugh!! i see i guess whateverone else sees.. but my brain is taking its time catching up...

Hi Charlene, Well I hope you feel better soon.  I will be praying for you. Melissa

Hi Charlene.  I'm still pre-op so I have no words of personal experience...but I do know from all the reading and researching I've been doing over the last several months that what you are feeling is absolutely NORMAL for someone who's gone through such a huge life change.  I think at least 1/2 the people who have had your kind of weight-loss have gone through similiar rollercoaster feelings.  I hope just knowing you're not alone will offer you some peace to relax and reflect on what's REALLY important to you, thin or not.   Besides...I need you well so that when I'm going through it in a year you can calm me! Blessings, Heather

I think everyone experiences what you are going through at some point in their weight loss journey. I still can't walk through the mall and not look towards a Lane Bryant or The Avenue without thinking that I should go in and check out the clothes. Someone else mentioned that they still see the fat even though they are a size 4 now and I have to agree with them. I'm not a size four but I am about a 12 and I truly can't ever remember being that size. When I hold that size up I think Ohh...I don't think they'll fit but then I try them on and they do! It is really hard to get past that mental aspect of weight loss. I kind of look at it as a blessing in a way. It keeps me in check and I don't get too carried away thinking I'm safe from putting that weight back on. Good luck, you'll come around. You'll see.  Amy

Hi, From other people I know who've been on this journey and are at or close to goal, what you are experiencing is a very normal thing, it's why support group attendance is important and/or therapy.  Your mind takes a while to catch up to where you are today, as opposed to where and what you are used to being/seeing.  Not to mention that people react differently to "normal" sized people than to people who are "obese".  I'm looking forward to my journey, but am very well aware of the pebbles in the road that can trip us up.  I wish you find yourself, as the person you will come to know and love and live with for the rest of your days!

I totally understand what you mean.  I'm currently down to a size 8 and I've lost close to 140 lbs, yet my mind can easily pick out the imperfections that I have with my new body.  My boobs have deflated like a flat tire, my stomach looks like a sponge and I have cottage cheese thighs.  It's hard to vision myself as a thinner person.  I have to take a double look in the mirror just to make sure that it is me.  I've started going to therapy to help sort out some things in my life and to help me cope with this new body.  You are not alone and this is definitely something that most of us have experienced. Carla