Being snubbed and judged????

Bob and I went out last night with some friends to have some fun.  While we were out we ran into some people our friends know.  I have to say that there were women of all sizes there.  Most of the women that we were hanging out with... were heavier and as well as the new people we met.  I got completely snubbed by the heavier women!!!! Now i gotta explain one thing.  Yes i have lost a signifigant amount of weight... from a size 28 to a size 12... which was a complete wow moment for me lol... but anyways... My brain has not caught up with my body and i see still myself as a heavier woman.... being heavy all of my life.. i dont look at the weight portion.  I feel like i dont fit in with thinner people and i dont fit in with heavier people... what to do???  I have always been outgoing and i am even more so now..... and i just get dirty looks and attitude... i was like WTF!!!! It did not ruin my night at all... i still had a great time... and danced my ass off!!  Have any of you been in this type of situation.... and how did you handle it!  Bob says that i need to kinda transition myself from being the "fat girl" to the "normal size girl"... i just think it sucks.... i feel like i was judged when i was fat and now im being judged that im thinner!  What do i do????

What did you do? You lost weight and probably looked better than they did are they are jealous. 

Hi - First Congratulations on what you've done so far - it's fabulous! I may be speaking out of turn since I am still waiting for my insurance company approval but I think the main reason we all do this is for ourselves - not others.  YOU did it for YOU - not them.  Sounds like you have a great bunch of friends that support you - don't let the others bother you. I've been heavy all my life too and was snubbed all those years because I was heavy - I'm sure gonna try to not let it bother me if they snub me because I'm thinner.   Like hockeymom said, it's probably because they are jealous! I'm sure your mind will catch up with your physical changes soon.  (Please remind me of this when I go through it at a later date  :-)   ) Good Luck! Vic

Hey Christine, I know how you feel. It is like you were only accepted by the "fat girls" when you were fat and snubbed by the "normal girls" because you were fat. Now you're snubbed by the "fat girls" because you aren't fat and snubbed by the "normal girls" because they knew that you were previously fat. When I was a size 24 I was the biggest girl in our (my fiance' and my circle of friends). All the other girlfriand and wives did one of two things. They either 1) ignored me and pretended that I didn't exist, or 2) gave me their tips on how to loose 5 pounds, or the latest recipe they got for diet food. I never let it bother me though, I just hung out with the guys and chatted with the guys. When I wsa heavy I really wsan't very girlie and was more than happy to just be "one of the guys". However, now that I'm a size 12, I want to be one of the girls. Now they either ignore me (sometimes it is good being the invisible woman), or they ask me a million questions about the surgery (which I don't always mind), however they ask questions like "so, when are you going to start gaining the weight back", or (and this is my all time favorite), "why would you do something like that to your body, how do you have kids now?" I swear one of these days I'm going to turn around a say.." Well, when a man and a woman like eachother....." I have come to the conclusion that a very high # of women are petty and don't want to see other women succeed. We say we want to see other women do well, but we don't always mean it. If there is one thing that this experiance has taught me it is that life is short. We have to savor what we have. I have been teaching myself not to care. I REALLY don't care if the "normal" girls don't like me. To be perfectly honest, although I want to be thin, normal is boring... I don't want to be normal. As long as I'm happy with me, my fiancee is happy with me, and my family is happy with me, I could care less about anyone else. I know that I totally ranted and rambled and I'm sorry. But I do know what you are feeling and if you want someone to talk to, and not get snubbed, let me know. 

Christine: I find when I'm getting the "once over" from heavier women, I have to assure them I'm a former fatty..so I'll be excepted...it really stinks. Another thing, I don't know if you have this "problem" but I have to be very careful when I interact w/ men friends. Before, their wives and GF's couldnt care less, now they are suspicious of my intentions. I thought this transition was gonna be easy...Huh! Robin

Thanks for the advice...It's nice to know ... IM not alone!  although im sure many of us have or are going through this.  I guess its gonna take time.... for me to find my place ..... in the social world! lol....

You can only just be yourself, there really is nothing you can do about this.  Just don't let it upset you and start building up an outer safe "shell" again.  Keep eating healthy, exercising, and enjoying life. I went through the same thing and had a horrible time coping with it.  Then I moved from Bergen Cty to Ocean, after I was done losing weight, new life, new friends.  They know I used to be heavier, but can't wrap their mind around it.  So, now people just know me. Oh and that sometimes I puke after eating out. HAHA.

first -- Angela i love your sense of humor!!!  christine i know how you feel :) i still think fat -- i'm thin dammit!! i know i'm thin! i have to keep reminding myself of that haha i look down and still think fat -- maybe it's because of the saggy skin -- or maybe it's because of years and years of being fat -- but the thought is there -- i've gone from a 3X to a (drum roll please) size 6 as of this morning :) and it will be 8 months on sunday -- i bought new nightgowns last night -- ya know, the fatty kind, one size fits all, yadda yadda -- well i ended up buying a 's/m' which on the label says 6-10 -- and the dam things fit!! nicely i might add!!  maybe someday both of our brains will catch up with us :) then again, maybe not -- and it won't be a bad thing -- we will always see the world thru different eyes from someone who was always thin -- and i think Jus_chanJ put a photo of me and ross from last night -- i'll have to go look  take care christine :) all will be good :) Roberta

Hi, Not having had the surgery yet, you've done a fabulous job on getting where you are, so don't try to fit in, just develop the confidence in who you are and how hard you had to work to get there and most of all ENJOY being you; the rest will take care of itself and for goodness sakes make some new friends.   My take is that they feel threatened by the way you now look and don't know how to interact with the "new" you.  Don't make it your problem, don't let anyone rob you of how wonderful it feels to be where you are now and when I some day get where you are at, I hope to remember all this stuff that I'm telling you and if not, I'll be counting on you to remind me