resentment from family and friends over your weight loss?

Has anyone been going threw any resentment from friends or family members over your wight loss...... I am from one very good friend... She was great with me before my surgery when I was going threw my process of doctors visits, insurance approval and so on.... But once I finally got approved I sent a email out to my family and friends expressing my excitement and that I hoped everyone would support me.  Everyone replied with only the best wishes and even some concerns, everyone except my very good friend! Before my surgery my girlfriends took me out to eat, the one I am talking about in particular seemed alright with everything, just asked a lot of questions about what my life would be like.  Oh yea, and will I ever gain the weight back?  Almost like she was wishing it on me.  But at that time I thought it was just in my mind.  After my surgery, of course she came to see me when I got home.  For several months she seemed ok with everything... But as I began to drop the weight.... 25 pounds....... 50........ 80......... 100..... and still going.... NOT once has she said anything about my change.... my cloths...... nothing!  Now keep in mind this is a person that notices EVERYTHING  new or old!  She doesn't miss a beat..... It's funny cause even her kids and her husband have not said a word to me as well..... almost like the know how my friend feels...... Since all my weight loss...... my friend began going to a gym and even got a personal trainer..... She wasn't heavy like I was but yes she can stand to loss about 40 pounds... So please someone tell me are any of you that had GBS going threw this with any of

ahhh just let her have her silence -- they say that silence is golden :)  Roberta

The interpersonal dynamics after this type of surgery are fascinating. You will find some people who say and do the strangest things. They would never have hurt you when you were at your fattest - perhaps because they liked having someone bigger then them around. Now, especially if you weigh less then they do, they start to act out.  I have one friend who hadn't seen me in a while. Couldn't wait for me to get to her house so we could take pictures with her new digitial camera. Once I got there she said, flat out, she wouldn't take pictures with me because I was now smaller then her.  Another friend offered to lend me a jacket because I was unprepared for cool weather while visiting her. She prefaced the offer with "it might be too small." We didn't go out because it was too big; she just didn't want to go out any more.  The good friends will be there for everything, fat or thin but the fair weather friends will show their true colors when you are fabulous. Keep up the good work. Wilma

One of my biggest supporters before WLS stopped talking to me.  My aunt barely speaks to me anymore and my cousin told me flat out that she's extremely jealous of my "new life."  They are both abnormally thin and obsessed with dieting. Others talk to me now who wouldn't give me the time of day before.  My true friends are the ones that never changed. 

The person I was talking about just today sent me an email asking me how much weight I have lost and do I still have trouble eatting certain things..... Well, I guess this was a start for her it only took 8 months to finally ask considering I see her every other day......   Now my very best friend has not seen me since before my surgery.... but we talk a lot on the phone... and every time we talk she says to me, "am I going to be jelous of you"?  See now I would rather have someone say that to me and be up front then not say anything at all...  All I know I am so happy with the results....  Have a good day everyone..... and thank you for your responses.... xo

I lost my best friend since the sixth grade over WLS.  She accused me of hitting on her BF, now I've been with my husband for 6 years and have two beautiful girls.  I do admit there was drinking involved & I was being flirty but that is how I always was and I have known her BF since kindergarten, I had no interest in him in that way, not to mention we were all at a BBQ together.  But I guess being flirty at 252lbs was ok and at 138lbs was not because she felt it could be a threat.  She said she was tired of flirtyness, I've been flirty for the past 24 years that she has known me, but know I'm not seen as a friend but a threat.  I'm ok with the fact that we are no longer close anymore but it took a while.   Freiendships change as life changes.  we are both going to be thirty this year and she is having issues with the fact that she is not yet engaged and I and alot of friends are already married with two kids.  I lost other friends and have a few that make strange comments from time to time, have been told I took the easy way out.  Its not the easy way, I went through a lot with not being able to eat and vitiman levels.   my husband also got jelous about relationships I had with male friends because now that I looked the way I did a few years ago they might be interested in me.  it caused problems betwwen us.  And yes one of my major WOWS was making my husband jelous - I know its silly but it felt really good for him to know I'm not in this marriage because no one else wants the fat girl.  And no I wasn't fat when we married.  I was in this marriage because I loved him. best of luck in your relationships some people will be happy for you and enjoy your journey with you and other will just be jelous and envy you as they go on being unsupportive thinking you are the one that changed.

Having this surgery for myself and so many others was the best thing I have done other then meeting my husband over 25 years ago marring and having two beautiful children.  Before marriage and children I was not over weight... extremely normal.... It wasn't until I had two children one 12 lbs the other 10 lbs and two c sections that I began to gain.  I tried every yo yo diet.... then five years ago I had a full hysterectomy.  The weight issue only began to get worse.... I went from being a very active person to having no will to move.  Considering dancing was a hobby of mine it destroyed me that I couldn't even get on the dance floor for a formal function.  That was when I made my decision to have this surgery.  We do this not only because we want to look better but more importantly because we want to live a longer healthier life.  Being obesit made my heart enlarged my liver enlarged and my cholesterol off the charts.... It was either do or die an early death!  Why some people cant look at this as a way to change your life instead of a easy way to change your life is beyond me.  Especially if they are your friends and care about you...  I wish only the best for my friends and family.... Yes sometimes resentment wether it be weight or money or having a good relationship and family can create some resentment for some and I wont deny I have had some in my life as well.  But that is normal and extremely human.... But it should drive one to reach for those things in there own life and try to make it better.... I look at it as to perfect ones life not sit back and wish I had it.  We do the best we can in the life we are dealt... The life we lead is a very short one and I feel that everyone deserves to be happy..... This was one of my ways of being happy and healthy.... Fine if they want to feel some sort of resentment ok... deal with it.... But then move on.... get over it.... and wish that person the best...... Sorry to hear about the friendship with your old friend.... But here is to today!  xo