I am so embarrassed!!! anyone had a revision?

Okay , so I am going to take a deep breath and finally admit what I have known now for some time. I am a failure. I had open RNY in 2004 and at that time I did great. I was 410 lbs and went down to 283 lbs in the first 6 months. I was feeling great, looking great. (i am 6 feet tall so I carry my weight well) now I have gained 40lbs back. I was eating wrong, drinking with my meals (they seem to go down better that way) and acting like it was okay as long as I didnt gain anything back. I gained 5 lbs and After awhile I stopped getting on the scale, I disnt really want to know. My mother started checking on my weight asking how it was doing and I was lying to her telling her it was steady. But when I finally got on the scale again I had gained 40lbs. My clothes were still fitting, just a little differently. but now taking out my summer clothes I can barely fit in them..... I just want to cry. I have now curbed my food and am trying to eat sensibly and not graze all day at work. I started a desk job and that hasbt been an easy task. so I bring healthy snacks with me. I am seriously thinking about a revision. I am sure something has streched out...... The problem is I am too embarrassed to call my surgeon. The last time I saw him I was about 6 months out. (he stopped taking my insurance then). I know I have to swallow my pride and do it to help myself. Does anyone have any good advice for me. I could really use some support. My mother doesnt help, she said to me yesterday that she is surprised that any surgeon would do a revision. she thinks that they would say you already had your chance and you failed. I know I failed she doesnt have to keep reminding me of that. I tried to tell her that I ma not the only one!!!!! she just doesnt choose her words correctly. I mean last night I asked her an opinion on how one of my shirts looked on me (its a bit tight in the arms). her reply was "it doesnt look any worse then your other shirts".  Any worse????? thanks alot. Has anyone in Jersey had a revision???? which surgeon???

First of all, WLS is only a tool as it is not a cure to losing and maintaining weight.  Secondly, stop beating yourself up.  Unfortunately, it sounds as though you have had some setbacks and now you need to to get back on track.  CALL YOUR SURGEON to see what options you may have.  I'm a true beliver in follow-up with your medical professionals.  This includes your PCP, your surgeon and in my case a nutritionist.  Do you go to support groups? You need to get as much support as you possibly can.  In regards to your mother, you need to have a serious talk with her and let her know that you don't need her criticism as it doesn't help the situation at all.  You need her support and understanding.  Don't be embarrassed that you have gained weight.  Now that you know where you stand, it is time to come up with a game plan on how to lose the weight you gained and how to reach your goal.  Write down what you eat, are you exercising, are you an emotional eater?  All of this will help you figure out what is going on in your life.  Most importantly, contact your doctor.  This is the first step you need to take to find out if your pouch has streched and what are your options for revision.

 

Best of Luck,

Carla

First of all YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE.  You are human and you have had a setback.  The first thing that you have to do is get in contact with a bariatic surgeon who accepts your insurance.   Make sure that he has a support system and a nutionist on board.  Then after you do that go back to basics.  Have two protein shakes a day and  3 small PLANNED out meals.  Journal everything that you put in your mouth.  Increase your exercise routine or change it up if you are in a steady routine.   I am only 11 months out and I have lost 160 lbs.  I have another 100 to lose to be at my personal goal of below 200.  I live in fear everyday of the weight coming back.  I joined a support group which is in south Jersey and is designed for post ops of 9 months or more.  I joined this group because I am being pro-active to what I see many post-ops downfall is.   One of the things that the group talks about, and they are all at goal and been post op 2 years or more, is the exact things you have been doing.  Therefore, you are not a failure you are human and doing what the normal human does.  Support and putting yourself first is the most important thing that you can do.   You can do this, look how far you have come.  You have regained 30 not 130.  You can get back on track.  If a revision is in line for you then a competent surgeon will tell you that.  But the surgery is only a tool and we have to committ to a different lifestyle.  You know that and you are in a panic, you can do this.  P Please feel free to contact me at [email protected].  if you would like to talk. Jeanne

Please put down that baseball bat, you are beating yourself up needlessly. . .  As was said by other people, you are a human being and changing the habits of a lifetime does not come easy, especially for those of us who have food addictions.   Somehow you got off track, that is yesterday's news, start where you stand, you got some good pointers from people on here.  Even if your pouch has stretched, you have the desire to continue or you would not be reaching out to people here.  So go back to the basics and 'take charge' of your food instead of letting it dictate to you.   I am going for a consult tomorrow, but I've been thinking about this tool for 2 years, so I've made up my mind to go for it.  When I weaken and since I am a human being, I know that is possible, I hope to have YOU supporting me, reminding me that I stumbled, not failed.  Your Mom may think she is being supportive, trying to shock you into doing what she thinks is right, speak up for yourself and let her know that it's hurtful, or don't ask for her advice.  Like someone else said, get a support network of people who've been there and are succeeding and willing to help you through the rough spots. Good Luck and believe it or not, coming here was the first step of you regaining control of your tool. Laureen

FIRST OF ALL YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT THIS HAPPENS TO.   YOUR MOM IS FROM ANOTHER TIME,  WHERE THESE THINGS WERE NOT AVAILABLY.  SO I DON'T THINK PEOPLE IN HER AGE BRACKET UNDERSTAND.    SO JUST DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, AND DON'T TALK TO HER ABOUT IT.   TALK TO US!!! NOW, I'M A LAPBAND,  JUST DONE IN FEB.   I WAS DONE IN VOORHEES , NJ.    BY THE WEST JERSEY HEALTH SYSTEM. THEY HAVE A LAPBAND SURGEON, AND A GASTRIC BYPASS SURGEON THAT WORK WITH A SUPPORT TEAM CALLED  "NEW BEGINNINGS"   NOW THE "NEW BEGINNINGS" PART WE PAY FOR.   IT IS 6 MONTHLY PAYMENTS, AND THAT IS IT.  WE ARE IN IT FOR LIFE.    IT HAS BEEN A GREAT SUPPORT SYSTEM.  I HAVE A NURSE I CAN CALL ANYTIME, A NUT/  BEHAV/THER  ANYTIME.   I GO TO SUPPORT AND NUT/CLASSES. THEY WANT YOU TO BE A SUCCESS. SO CALL "WEST JERSEY HOSPITAL"  IN VOORHEES, NEW JERSEY. TELL THEM TO CONNECT YOU TO "FIT SMART,  NEW BEGINNINGS". WHEN YOU GET THERE, ASK IF A DOCTOR WITH HIS NAME STARTING WITH A    " B"   I FORGOT HIS NAME AT THE MOMENT,  BUT THEY WILL KNOW.   ASK IF HE DOES REVISION/   AS WELL AS GASTRIC BY.    ASK HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH HIS OFFICE.    YOU WON'T BE SORRY.   I GO TO SUPPORT WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE THAT HAVE HAD HIM AS A SURGEON AND THEY ARE DOING VERY WELL. IF HE DOES NOT DO IT,  ASK THEM TO RECOMMEND SOMEONE WHO DOES. YOU WILL BE FINE.    IT IS NOT TO FAR FOR YOU. GOOD LUCK, AND KEEP US POSTED. P.S.  I DO KNOW THAT "NEW BEGINNINGS"  HAS HAD SOME CLIENTS, THAT HAVE GOTTEN OFF TRACK AND NOW THEY ARE BACK ON.   ALSO YOU CAN ASK FOR TWO DIFFERENT NURSES THERE THAT WOULD BE GLAD TO GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE. ONE NAME IS   "CHRIS"...   THE OTHER IS   "IRENE"..............

The problem is that when overweight people need their Dr. is the time we are less apt to go due to feelings of shame. We gain weight and we miss OBGYN appointments. We miss appointments with our heart Dr. so we don't have to hear about how our weight is killing us.  You need to go to your Dr. and seek advise. You are not the first bariatric patient to gain weight and you won't be the last. Good Luck, Donna

1. Follow up with a surgeon - yours, or one who takes your current insurance. Get checked to make sure you haven't damaged the pouch or the anastomotic os. 2. GET TO A THERAPIST. You have allowed old behaviors to take over again. You need to work with a cognitive-behavioral therapist to retrain those behaviors away, and to find the roots of the behaviors so you can replace them with healthier ones. 3. Get The Beck Diet Solution by Judith Beck, PhD. It's a 6-week "course book" on the cognitive-behavioral tools you need to stop backsliding. It is an ADJUNCT to therapy, not a replacement, but you can start being pro-active while you look for a suitable therapist.

being one of your best friends, i can tell you im here for you and mom is well mom, shell always put you down because hse hates herself and her life right now. i love you and you are not a failure.....well work it all out because you are beautiful and always have been and always will be my inspiration.....

Go back to basics like when you were first out.  Cut out the carbs and drinking.  Get in all your protein and water.

I had an RNY in 2001 and am looking going for a consultation for a lap band on the 21st of June. I was 412lbs at the time of the operation and got down to 236 or so. I''m now 288. Did i fail? No. WLS is a tool and it worked, but there are other factors that are called 'life'. Over the past few years I've gone thru a lot. and found myself falling back on old behaviors. I still can't eat a lot, but the weight crept back on. I didn't have one of those miraculous, down to 130 weightlosses. which was dissapointing. now, whatever I try doesn't seem to be enough to get the weight off. So I'm asking for help. I've tried to loose and keep off the weight and I can't seem to do it. So I need help again. There's nothing wrong with that. I've got the therapy, things are getting better and I like this doctor better. So, we'll see. Don't give up on yourself. you're worth another try.