okay here we go

hello to all. i am scheduled for lap band surgery on the 29th of May. I just meet the weight criteria by 312 pds. however, i do have afib, high blood pressure and borderline diabetes all this compounded by that i am a 41 yr old african american male.. so more of a health issue for me than my physical appearance.. to be quite honest being 602 and 312 pds has it's advantages working in law enforcement.. but with 4 short years to go before i retire and a 7 yr old at home, i think it high time that begin to take my health seriously.. i am already in the gym three time a week and riding my mountain bike on the weekends.. the problem is my eating habits.. ( and no cops do NOT eat doughnuts!! that went out in the early 90's!!).. i am concerned about the anxiety of knowing i can't eat what i want when i want and as much as i want.. my wife is not 100% supportive because she thinks i should just back up from the table.. i am trying to make her understand that i have an extreme personality.. there has to be an immediate and extreme consequence for me to stop eating more than i should and i think hurling chunks all over the dining room table qualifies as extreme.. thanks in advance for your support and guidance!

Hi Don I am scheduled for Lap Band Surgery on the 21st. Hopefully Insurance approves it. I am excited but worried about my habits as well. Especially since I still need to cook for my husband and family, and sit down at the table with them. We will get through it. Good Luck Ronnie

If you need support this is the BEST place! I'm scheduled for RNY on May 23. May 29th is my 42nd birthday so I see it as an early birthday present. My husband is supportive one day and scared to death the next. For 3 weeks all I heard was "what will I do if you don't make it???". Gee, hon, thanks for the good thoughts! lol But, I wrote a smartass song, sang it once and he shut up. Tomorrow is my pre-op class and I'm dragging him along. I understand how the kiddie factor comes in. I'm a stay-home mom to a very busy 10-yr-old daughter. In the last few months I've really come to realize how much my weight is working against me. So, with that and my really bad knees in mind, I'm taking this journey. Best wishes to you!!! You're gonna do GREAT!!!! And, I don't think you're totally right. I take my daughter to school and there are usually 4 police cars at the local donut place. Maybe our town is just a bit behind the times. * Cyndi *

Hello Don, I am planning to have surgery, hopefully very soon. Just finishing up all the tests required and hope to have insurance approval in May. This surgery is a difficult and serious decision and it's very natural that your loved ones would be concerned. But you know yourself and what you need to do to be healthy and happy. Several things have helped me come to terms with the decision to have surgery: research, research research, on the internet (this site is excellent), magazines, people who have had the surgery, support group. Just purchased a book Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies. In my opinion, it is informative, tells you the good and bad, in plain yet educated terms. One thing I've learned (at least I think I have learned) is WLS is not a magic pill. It is just a tool that must be managed with control and discipline. From what I understand, if you don't do what your supposed to do to maintain good health while maximizing weight loss, you do your body and mind a great disservice. Not to mention the people in your life that love you. Please just know as much as you can about the journey you are about to embark upon. Be well and be informed. Regard, Clarice

welcome aboard don i had surgery over 5 months ago -- my husband is coming up on his 1 year -- it is the best thing we ever did for ourselves and each other!! we eat -- we went to boston this past weekend and had fried clams, fried scallops, fried haddock (everythng i miss) and we had a ton of leftovers too!! it was our eating habits that got us to where we were -- who wants to pull away from the table at Outback?? or Olive Garden??? not us!! and yes, hurling chunks works dont' let anyone fool ya -- it's not pleasant!! i've only done it once and that was enough for me -- ross has done it a few times the best of luck to you get your wife on here too so she knows she's not alone in her fears there are a few of us here who have been on both sides of the issue -- having surgery and having a loved one have surgery take care roberta

Don~ My husbands reaction was a lot like your wifes reaction. When I told him I was even thinking about surgery he got very upset. He was scared for me, and himself at that point. Surgery is always dangerous. You never know what is going to happen, there are so many variables that are involved. You are putting yourself in a surgeon's hands, one you have probably known for only a short time. You are undergoing anesthesia, that's always a risk. This is major surgery. My worry wasn't about the surgery itself, it was about what do I do AFTER surgery? My surgery was text book, it went perfectly. That was 8 months ago, Surgery was cake, life afterwards is not cake. I wouldn't worry about knowing what you can eat and can't eat afterwards, buy a book. WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY FOR DUMMIES was my bible. I read that book all summer long on the beach last year, my surgery was August 31. Start with a book, let your wife read it too. MORE IMPORTANTLY.........GO TO A SUPPORT GROUP! I can not stress that enough. A support group will be your life line through this process. I promise you that. You NEED people around you who are informed and experienced in what you are about to go through. You can take your wife there too, and I think that is helpful for a spouse that is scared and doesn't completely understand our eating disorder. I don't know where you live, but I am sure if you post here saying you are looking for a support group, you will find one close to you. Our group meets in Toms River tonight and in Lakewood on the third Monday night of each month. (first Friday in Toms River and third Monday in Lakewood-each month from 7-9pm) Best of luck to you........please find a support group and start going, it is the best thing you could do for yourself right now. Michelle Brennan

Don Good luck on your surgery Just remember you are going to need support OH is a great place for support but this should not be the only place you get your support from Each physican usually has a support group that meets on a monthly basis there has been clinical research that has proven that a one on one counseling is the best support and that the groups are the second best just keep that in mind Use all the support that will be available to you nothing like face to face communication Good luck once again Lauretta

Hi don, I too have a-fib and I had my lapband on March 15th.My cardiologist said there was no concern for the a-fib and I would have no problems with surgery.I too am in law enforcement.(state corrections)if you have any questions feel free to ask.By the way I am down 30 lbs so far in 7 weeks sean

my man sean!! way to go brother!! question? how have you adjusted to the eating habits? question 2: how long was the recup time and how restricted were you in terms of mobility. i have firearm quals the following week and want to make sure i can assume the kneeling positions on the range. question 3: what preparations did you make before the surgery? thanks in advance and be safe!

Hey dan, you adjust to new eating habits quickly in my opinion.Your body will tell you when you have had enough trust me. I was out of work for a month but I could have gone back in 2 weeks.I already had the time scheduled off so I took it off and got some things done around the house.As far as prep before the surgery what are you basically looking for ????? I was on a soft food diet the week before.If there is anything else you want to know dont hesitate to ask sean