Hard time doing small things.

I am pre op, should be getting a date soon, had all my labs and an echocardiogram, I have about 160 pds to lose. I feel like crap. Its an effort to take a shower, and get dressed. I know I am depressed also. I was wondering if anyone has felt like this before surgery, I have no energy, have a hard time walking because I have a hard time breathing and pain in my back. I feel like a loser wasting away with no way back. Does anyone feel like this? Or felt like this? Could all this be caused by weight? I am lost and feel like a failure , I am totally embarrased. Love, Jade

hi Jade: sorry you are feeling so down in the dumps. I am sure it will pass. as to your questions, yes it is certainly possible that all the things you are feeling are caused by your weight. as you start to lose you will see that your energy increases, and that it is easier to do the things you need to do. you are not a failure, this is an issue we have all coped with. hope you get a date soon, and in the meantime, try to relax about everything, cause stressing wont help the way you feel. take one day at a time and let us know when you get that surgery date. big hugs, jacki

FAILURE, you are not a failure you are a success. You made some very big steps to get to this point. Keep pushing and you will make it. Once you are on the loser's bench you will also feel a whole mirade of feelings but you will be well into your journey. Sometimes with the rush of running around to all the pre-op tests and the excitement of all that you have to do you have a let down once all of that is over. Your journey is in it's waiting phase. Take advantage. Treat yourself good, take a bubble bath, get a new hairdo. You are almost there, keep pushing. We are all here waiting on you. Jeanne

hi jade i can't agree more with Jacki and Jeanne depression and stress will also do crazy things to the human body -- both mentally and physically depression can be part of being overweight -- and the depression will make you not want to take a shower or get dressed or make it feel like an effort to do these things being overweight and depressed will also take away your engery feeling lost is part of the depression feeling lost can also be part of the pre-surgery run around you are going through -- not knowing what to do next or when your surgery is and when is someone going to call with more information don't be embarrassed by your feelings -- everyone has bouts of depression at one time or another better days will always come along Roberta the best of luck in your journey

Hi Jade: You are not alone!! I had been looking into RYN for about 6 years, but felt it was too drastic, I could lose the weight if I tried, and I was just plain scared. That all changed in Summer of 2005. I went to the Fireman's Convention in Wildwood with my husband. I was miserable!! I weighed 360 lbs. I couldn't walk too much, I was hot as hell, just miserable and sad, that it got to this point. That experience made me realize that I needed more help than Jenny Craig, LA Weight Loss, or Weigh****chers could, or ever had provided me. I thought about what was holding me back. I was afraid of the surgery, having a huge incision, and staying in the hospital. I found a surgeon who did the procedure laproscopically, fell in love with him, and never looked back. I had my surgery in January, 2006. I am down 160 lbs (would like to loose about 40 - 50 more - we'll see). Life is good. I am doing stuff (like wearing "regular sized clothes, taking a dance class, attempting to jog). that I never thought I would do again. I think I needed to hit my rock bottom to realize I needed more help than I was getting. I don't think you, or I are failures. Best of luck in your journey!!

Jade~ Wow.. you sound like me before my surgery. It was all those feelings that pushed me towards the surgery. I remember feeling like it was a big job to shower. I remember having no energy and a hard time walking. All of those feelings are going to change. Depression, I was hospitalized twice and was on Zoloft for 10 years before my surgery. I haven't taken the Zoloft since my surgery, my doctor agreed that it was time to see if I could come off of it, I did it slowly before my surgery and I am feeling fine without it now. I know I might need it in the future, and there is no shame in that, I just feel good right now. Weight loss has a way of changing your vision I pray for the best for you, and please don't be too hard on yourself. These bad feelings will push you right through the fear, I actually think they help you to get past your fears, at least they did for me. Michelle Brennan

Aww Jade- You are so totally not alone. I think that at somepoint, every member of this website felt exactly the same as you are feeling right now. This is totally normal, and I assure you it will pass. You have the best surgeon!!! Dr. Mehta is the best!!! and LULU- need I say more? Will you be at support group on Tuesday??