Dipping my foot in

I know many of you are/were friends of Timmy Ray. I don't know exactly what to say but I guess I'm here testing the waters (as in 'dipping my foot in') for friendlies. I realize that I've not been very outgoing in the past... I just wanted Timmy to have an outlet of his own-somewhere to go with friends of his own. Somewhere that I wasn't stepping on his toes. All that being said...I guess I was just here looking fondly back on a community or two that I used to be very involved with. I am not looking to be or say anything negative...just looking for some friendly faces is all. This being the holiday season and all...I'm feeling a little....well.....lost. Alot of things have gone on in the last month or two and I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed. I don't blame anyone for feeling loyalty elsewhere. But if there's a chance I can come (back) and gain some support...well...it'd mean an awful lot to me. Sandi

hi sandi you can sit here with me i'm not a judging person take care of yourself roberta

hi sandi i never really knew you and i only met timmy a few months ago at support group. i always keep an open mind so feel free to chat here with me anytime. i try to take everyone for what they are individually, so hello!!! hugs, jacki

Thank you, ladies, for your posts. I talked to Timmy after I posted (actually, during. I felt bad posting without him knowing-I didn't want him to think I was going to speak negatively about him) but I'm still feeling down today. I don't know how to snap out of it...especially on a day like today where I'm feeling crummy physically. I know what some of you might be thinking....'This isn't a marriage/divorce support group'...and you're right. It's not unlrelated, though. It absolutely has an impact on how I treat myself....how I take care of myself. I hate the idea of going out to buy new clothes because the ones I have don't fit anymore. It's been close to 3 years since my WLS and I need to 're-lose' about 20-25 lbs. I'm back near the 200lb mark again. I was better off a few weeks ago when I couldn't eat a thing. At least then I wasn't gaining weight. (I'm not here out of TOTALLY unrelated reasons, in other words). How does everyone else handle the emotional attachment to food? Do you find the support group once or twice a month really helps with that? I know some of you don't know me at all...and I'm sorry if it seems like I came here just to whine. I really didn't. I just have no one who understands what it's like to be in this exact situation...AND still struggle to take care of myself. Anyway-now I'm just babbling and I really don't mean to. I just wanted to thank you two-again-for posting back. I do appreciate it. Maybe it'd be more comfortable for everyone else if I looked for support in a less public place?...I'd understand. I'll check back on the board later. Thank you for listening (or, reading as the case may be). Sandi

I definately think you've come to the right place Sandi -- As someone who knew you back when, and long before I met Timmy, it has been an awfully long time since you mingled. I imagine you were getting your "support" elsewhere, and that is fine, but you and I both know that we always need support in this WLS journey, someone who understands what we are going thru. At 3 plus years out, it is a whole different thing then when we were newly post ops -- and I find some good support in this vein on the "WLS Grads" board too. Having said that, I hope that you will start coming go OCWLS meetings again -- there is no need to speak about your private life with Timmy. Just know that you are both welcomed and accepted, with no sides taken. Nobody but the parties involved know what goes on inside the marriage, and that is as it should be. Hugs, Nannette

Nannette, Very well said...and likely exactly what I needed to hear. I don't need to tell anyone here that life is hard enough...but then throw in WLS, marriage, etc etc...and it becomes downright overwhelming at times. I thought alot about coming to the party on Friday. I really did enjoy it last year. I guess I was (and still am) a little tentative because I don't want to step on any toes or make anyone uncomfortable. It's nice to know you're open...I guess I was hoping for more of a "yes"/positive response. In the meantime, I have an appointment Friday afternoon and don't even know how long it's going to take...I could end up being occupied well into the meeting/party hour. I truly don't want to make the evening (or any other evening for that matter) weird for anyone. I do plan on being on the boards more often...and I hope that's OK with everyone if I pledge to keep it about support...and not other stuff. Sandi