just venting ... please comment

You know, I have been planning this surgery for over a year. I work in a PCP's office. It's a small office, only two of us here. But I am finding that the person who I work with seems mad about me taking off for the surgery. (And they wont be working alone while I'm gone.) They seemed a little testy today when I was making final arrangments for my leave of absense. Almost like I was burdening them with my leave. I will be having someone come in to fill-in for me so I felt like asking them "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM??? YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE BY YOURSELF! YOU'VE KNOWN ABOUT THIS FOR MONTHS!!!!" But being the nice person I am, I said nothing and let them get all huffy. I am a little upset about that. I'm only scheduling off for 2 weeks, then playing by ear. I may even go back before that. It just depends. I was just so angry that they got so huffy. Like I was taking a last minute vacation to Fiji!(I wish!!!!) I guess what I am most upset about is that this person is my friend. And I am finding that the closer I get to surgery, the more distant they have become. If it wasn't for the fact that I worked with this person, I don't think I would have told them. I don't need this stress, not right now. I have not told anyone but my family. I fell that it's my business. Would someone please tell me if this happened to them? It just does not seem fair.

I haven't had that happen to me for WLS...but for other things that I had to take off for I have...that person is just jealous and will be fine while your gone. Take as much time as you need this is for you and not them!! Your absence is approved by the boss, so I wouldn't even give it another thought. I have heard, however, that it is possible to lose friends over you losing weight. Insane if you ask me. But then I guess they were only fair-weather friends to begin with. Your true friends will stick by you no matter what. Besides, we are here if you need us Take care, Barb

you know, i would never have thought that the people that i have surrounded myself with would in turn "run" when the going gets tough(as they say) but i am finding that some people are just "fair-weather friends"

dont get stressed!!!!!! people get very wierd ive found, when you need to take time off to do something for yourself, be it your health or other related surgery issues. just ignore them, if they are true friends they will come around, and if not, heck you dont need friends like that. i work in a docs office also, im in lakewood, not far from you, and since im back from my surgery, one of the girls has been real wierd to me, so im just ignoring it. the good news is most of everyone else has been very supportive. so good luck and tuck this out of your mind!!! hugz, jacki

thank you. and good luck to you too!

Crystal, I think people have weird reactions to other people they work with....They hate to have their life changed in anyway...and having a substitute will change their work environment....that said, its not nice for them to be huffy with you.... I also think that people have issues with elective surgical procedures...I know even myself...I am somewhat irritated that my sister is having an elective procedure 10 days before my other sisters wedding... I know its wrong and selfish, elective or not she needs the procedure, but her having it at this time, will make the wedding more problematic that it wouild ordinarily be. So I was initially irritated and I hope I wasn't huffy about it, but I might have been.... Finally, people are weird about weight-loss surgery in particular...There seems to be issues about how people are going to change, they have ambivalent feelings about whether you should do it or not. I have had work friends be less than supportive of with me when I went on a diet plans....Weightloss, whether through diet or surgery is a very sensitive issue with people.... I guess what I am saying is that it is fairly common that people around you will be acting in ways you really don't expect, both before and after your procedure....Some people will be more supportive that you ever expected and others wil behave in negative ways that you never would have imagined.... Bottom line, you have the right to take care of your health and well being in anyway that you feel is neccessary...you have the right to take a leave of absence without guilt...Your responsibility is to make sure you leave as few loose ends as possible before you take your leave...And that is all you really need to concern yourself with....Spend your energy on getting ready for a safe and healthy experience....Try not to spend any of your energy on other people's negativity.... Good luck with your procedure and take good care of yourself. Kelly

i work for a semi - small place and everyone knows i'm going in for surgery -- they are all supportive i just got back from medical leave for another reason and they are teasing me about time off already!! but they all know i'm using my own vacation time and personal time to do this -- but they think they are funny anyways i am also planning on only taking off about 2 weeks -- surgery on 10/6 and dr appt on 10/25 and back to work on the 26th -- columbus day falls on the 9th so that gives me an extra day ;) good luck to you and just brush them off haha roberta

I had surgery 10 days ago and since then one of my closest friends has not yet come over to see me and doesnt even call me!! I seriously don't care. You are going to find out that after surgery some people are going to change. In my opinion I have noticed that some people dont call me as often because I really cant go out and do the things that I use to with them(dinner,bars for drinks). Don't worry as you loose a friend you gain two. :-) CB2

thanks. it's just a relief that i'm not the only person. i am just brushing off and looking forward to my new future. thank you