No hope for a half decent life.

I am 31 years old I am the mother of 2 beutifull girls ages 11 and 2. I am so depressed so angered that my life sucks with the upmost greatness. Imagine youre self in the prime of youre life and living like I do stuck at home cause youre to embarrased to be seen in public. Even if I wanted to go out I cant it makes me extremely tired to just walk to the corner and not to think that when I come back I have to go up 3 flights of stairs just to get in my apartment. What kills me is my daughter the 11 year old is going down my same path the diffrence is she doesnt seemed to be bothered by her weight like I am but yet it is still way too much even though my daughter is just as tall as I am being that the height runs in the familly she is extremely over weight. ?And I know I am the one to blame because if she didn,t have to live locked up in this house maybe she would of never gotten this big. So Ive looked into WLS andf I have learned that if you are poor and have no insurance you cant have WLS. Ive even tried applying for loans no luck. I am currently dealing with Diabetes, Chronic gastritis, some high blood pressure and a whole lot of other crap life is so depressing to me sometimes I wish I would just not wake up in the morning. I hate my life.

Maria, I just read your post and my heart goes out to you. Anyone who uses this sight can complete understand what you are feeling. I really do not have any suggestions how you can finance the surgery. I can just let you know that there are people out there that care. Just keep in mind you are blessed having 2 children who will love you unconditionly I my self do not have children and being 39 years old, single and alone will probably not have any. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers God Bless, Tina

Maria~ I just read your post and my heart breaks for you. We have all been there, feeling awful about ourselves because of our weight being so out of control. It does get overwhelming. I don't know about the insurance end of it too much, but I would think that if you go to some type of clinic at a local hospital they might be able to get you some help. I don't know what the "center of excellence hospital" is in your area, down by me it's Atlantic City. They accept Medicaid and all kinds of insurance plans there. Maybe you can call around to your bigger hospitals and get yourself into the clinic, it's a first step? They might be able to get around the rules, or get you some kind of help that you can qualify for free for? The only word of advice I can give you is to get on the phone, call for help. You sound very depressed, maybe a local hospital can give you counseling for that and you can work from there? You have to take a "first step" of some kind. Get out maybe once a day? Just a walk to the corner and back....just to get out of this rut? I don't have the answer, but I will pray for you, and your children. Please know that we do care. Michelle

My favorite quote is by J K Rowling the auther of Harry Potter " Anything is possible if you have enough nerve" Call your local hospitals see if there are any programs, apply for medicaid, look everywhere for help. just get help for the depression for now and one you have that under control you will be stronger to hadle the rest of your life. And look in to programs for your daughter, Big Brother/ Big Sister, YMCA, rec soccer and softball programs, day camp, girl scouts offers financial aid, youth groups at your church good luck and remember your girls would be lost with you - My older sister, who was my neighbor and a friend of my cousin, came to live with us when her mother passed away. She was nine and although she became a part of our family she still misses her mom. She wishes it was her own mom that was there to see her children be born and not mine. Don't get me wrong she love having my mom be grandma but she wishes her kids knew her mom. A mom is NOT able to replaced, I've seen that first hand you will be in my thoughts and prayers

Maria (Maria is my daughter's name): There are certain lawyers who do some work pro bono and I'm sure there must be some doctors who do some work just for the pleasure of helping someone. I suggest you write a heartwarming letter to every NJ doctor on the bariatric list here on Obesity Help. It might be worth the cost of the stamps, maybe someone will take care of you pro bono! It's worth a try. Donna C.

Maria you should post on the main site and see if anyone there knows of way to help with insurance. Have you applied for medicare? write the letters to the drs in nj as suggested on the last post, you never know. Write Dr Phil Do what ever it takes so you have a chance, don't stop until you have exhasted every last effort. you are in my thoughts and prayers please keep us updated

Hi Maria - I too live i Newark - have you tried the Charity Care at University Hospital? I had a aquintance who had her surgery there. she did have some state insurance for her and her son - got charity care there and had her surgery about 5 yrs ago - i do not have any contact with her but atleast it is a lead- it'a a good idea about writing letters- it never hurt - Jo

Maria, There is ALWAYS hope for a decent life..you already have a life..please don't let your daughters down... don't let yourself down go to the next free patient ed seminar close to you- check University, Beth Isreal, St. Barnabus (usually have one at least monthly) listen to the seminar, then ASK..someone most likely will have suggestions...Please, get help..your children don't care what weight Mommy is!

Maria, You have to stay strong for your children!!! They need you!!! I do know that Medicaid will cover WLS. My friend has Medicaid and is having surgery at SI University Hospital in Staten Island, NY! In NJ, I believe, they have something called Charity Care or something like that. Plus, many of the hospitals have clinics that have a weight loss program. You have several comorbidities and should have no problem getting the surgery if you want it. Once you start eating right and not having junk stuff in the house, your children will have to also change their eating habits. It will follow. Don't give up. Get some help. For your children and for you. God loves you. Hugs, June

Im so sorry If I scared you guys I talk like that often becauwse its how I feel. Im not going to lie and say Ive never tried to comit suacide but thank god it did not work. I do understand that if Im not here to take care of my girls they will be the ones to pay for my mistakes. So Ive already taken the decition that I would never do that again. Believe it or not I think about it more because of my 11 year old and not hte baby. I thank god my baby has a good father and I know that no matter what happens as long as she has her daddy she has nothing to worry about. Its not the same for my 11 year old her father is not very responsible and my daughter is a special needs child. Shes not the type of kid you expect to leave home at 18 and go to college or get married at 25 or have a career. She is a bit ignorant and has not seen the harsh realities of life how do i say shes at a the intelectual level of a seven year old when shes 11. Im not saying she not teachable but with her it takes time. As for the Insurance I have none Except for the charity care at UMDNJ wich is acutally one of the biggest hospitals here in Newark The problem is they have an Obesity clinic but they dont take charity care. Ive called the charity care office and Ive been told that charity care might cover the hospital expenses for WLS but I may have to pay for the surgeon my self. It is stupid though because I cant see the surgeon because he wont take charity care so it all just a big mess. Im not sure how much that would be though. Ive spoken about the WLS with my doctor shes really cool about it. She said shell look into it for me Ive even asked her to see if there are other surgeons in the hospital that have done an rny and if they would be willing to do one on me. She said she would get back to me on that. Even though Ive been trying here and there My emotions still get to me and I would rip out my hair at times. I am so Angry I could scream because If I had insurance or 20,000 dollars to pay I would have been interviewing surgeons to do this for me not hoping someone will have pitty and do it.