Help! 1 month 4 days in swollen stomach

Feeling a little down 1 month and 4 days in and I can't get in the pants I fit before the surgery.I lost 37 pounds since my surgery on May 16. One of my incisions got infected and I'm still packing it I'm thinking that may be why, I called the doc office nurse stated it may be fluids in my stomach and to exercise my stomach area. but she didn't tell me how long I'll be going though this. How do you exercise with a hole in your stomach thats hurts and still burns from the saline in the packing? I just want to know about how long my stomach will be swollen and how long I'll be packing my wound. Please help because if someone has walked in my shoes they would really be able to help me. thanks

Jennifer, You will become less depressed I promise!! As for the swelling that also should be going away soon. I was also very swollen and leaked for probably 6 or 8 weeks. I didnt think it would ever stop leaking. Your tummy will get smaller. I would LOVE to know how the Drs office suggests taht you exercise your stomach since mine told me to just walk for the first couple months. I wouldnt think that would be good with an open incision. Good luck and dont worry it will be getting better soon. Hang in there girl! Hugssssssssss

Thank you so much Dawn you made my day, you see other people have bypass surgery and 2 weeks later they are walking around like they never had it. I'm buying the gypsy shirts with the tank tops because it's to hot for sweats and I can't get my old jeans around my stomach. I guess when most of your family members don't approve of you getting the surgery any little thing you notice you worry. thanks again so much I needed that hug!!!!!!

Jen... Sorry that your family (most of it) had a hard time with your surgery. They will realise how wrong they were in a couple months. You will see People heal all different kinds of ways. Depends how you had it done. BTW dont believe eveyone is rosey and cheery and all better in 2 weeks no matter what they post. When I was so depressed and miserable I thought I was the only one. I think people post just the good stuff cause they want to look like they are recovering like champs and dont want to scare anyone and most of the time they are simply looking through rose colored glasses lol. What you are feeling and going through is natural and more people than would like to admit it go through all the same things but never mention it. You can always email me if you ever need to chat or just need support. Sometimes all you need to hear is "It will be ok soon" and it really will Jen Leaves you LOTS of hugs to last you a lil while Hugsssssssssssssssssssssssssssss Dawn

Hi Jennifer : ) Dont let the good cheer here fool you... sometimes it IS very hard. I was 601 pounds before surgery, no friends, only went out at night, high blood pressure, diabetes (adult type II) huge water retention in my legs, and I felt always like I was the blacksheep of my family. So I did the research, did all the steps slowly, got ready for surgery, and had it three days before christmas. Why? Because Christmas is always such a family time, and I literally felt I had -no one. I had moved to Iowa to be with a woman following a divorce (friendly, but still hurtful at the time for me), I thought that this woman wanted to be with me and cared for me, but.. she literally only wanted my disability check. I got depressed, and after 3 years finally got away from her, but then it was a harsh winter, in Maquoketa, Iowa, I was a bachelor, all my family lives in Oregon... Let me tell you I was close several times to just saying forget it. Seriously. Sure I have lost 210 pounds, and found a wonderful woman who thinks I am a great guy and loves me inspite of my being insane and having a lot of issues and problems... But I remember the hard times too. So, yeah.. I try to appear cheery, and I thank God every day for all the changes and how great things are for me now... two years later. But I remember two times....physically being in such pain.. one- I decided I was a loser and got ahem.. "snipped" I felt like "hey who would want a father that is larger than a bus?? (and well I honestly at the time believed I would be a terrible father ....) but because of my size, and severe obesity, I had an infection in one of my gonads, it swelled up to about the size of two baseballs.... when I went in to get help the doctor said that I may have to have it amputated... and the pain... oooo lets not go there. It literally oozed for almost three weeks, the VNA (visiting home nurses) had to come and change the dressing DAILY for almost a month.... two- after surgery. no complication from the surgery.. but then I decided to take Calcium (like we are supposed to) BUT.. BUT.. I took seven tablets (chewable) in too short a time, not intentionally.. but then I literally could not go to the bathroom number two for nine days. I had JUST met my wife, I was talking to her on the telephone every day anyway and I was soooo ashamed that every conversation included... "honey.. Timmy Ray.. have you been able to poop yet? After daily visits from the good ol VNA nurses again..... (forget embarrassment between the two incidents I pretty much felt like heck nothing they havent seen b4) Ahem. Jennifer.. dont give up. You have been one of the folks that though rarely, that do get an infection in an incision. IT WILL GET BETTER. I remember lying on my couch in Iowa, both times, in the middle of pain from both of my situations, and thinking "I am such an idiot, Im a loser, Im worthless". And thinking all sorts of depressive thoughts and feeling stupid, lonely and helpless. You showed a lot of character and bravery to GET the surgery. Now, you are struggling. YOUR NOT ALONE. If you can post, without pain, post when you can. If you need pals to call and encourage you... I have a list of gals that would call (most ladies prefer to talk to other ladies when they dont know online folks. Or, I can call if you want. Or I can have my wife telephone, she is a champ and I am sure she would call and check on you. We have toll free phone with the cable deal from Optimum, so its not a matter of bucks, we would love to encourage you, the people on this board AND myself have all had our hard times too. What ever you do, dont isolate. We are HERE. We have (all of us on the NJ board, and all of us post op patients) ran into rough times. Keep caring for your infection, keep on doing good things...follow your docs orders... If it was me... sit in a chair and do gentle arm circles, or lay on the bed and lift your legs from the knee down slightly, or your arms PROVIDED it doesnt bother your wound. Otherwise... relax and focus on getting better. The exercise is important yes., but you cant get better if any of the exercise stresses your incision or wound. You will lose weight after your incision heals, focus on relaxing and healing. You can try to eat small meals (if your on solids), and keep the protein, vitamins, and liquids (water especially) like your surgeon says. Other than that... I would say dont be afraid to yodel if you want to talk or share with us folks that have had the surgery and had hard times. YOUR NOT ALONE : ) I PROMISE it will get better. Who am I to promise? Well, I am a over active poster dude, that has gone from a hopeless life with no friends no hope and a multitude of physical conditons that would end in my death... To a guy who still has 150 pounds to lose, but who has met fantastic people, who has finally learned to like himself, and who has a lot of really special, sincere folks both here on the NJ board that I am proud to call friends : ) Let me know.. please let us here on the board know if we can help? Again, I know its forward, you dont know me... but your post moved me.. you seem to have a lot of ***** and with your spirit and attitude, I believe things will slowly improve until someday down the road you can sort of laugh at this time... when its done, healed and you have moved on. Godspeed in your healing, and you will continue to improve, make friends, and see success Cuz you just made a friend : ) and there are lots of others here who would like to continue to get to know you and be your friend, here, so post when you can and keep us updated about how you are doing. K? I hope it goes better soon Hugs and God Bless Timmy Ray PS Tell yourself out loud "Im doing good things, I can beat this, I have support and people who care, I will get better!" Seriously, say it quietly out loud, audably to yourself but where you can "hear it". You will literally help reinforce positive things in your sub concious, they have done studies and proven "hearing" positive reinforcement helps raise endorphines, and helps promote healing. As does chatting on the phone with family and friends that are encouraging. Hang in there : ) TRS

Thank you so much Timmy for the post and I believe you then you Promise it will get better. It will be month the 7th of July and I was thinking the pain would go away. I feel so helpless at times and my birthday is the 23th of July I pray this wound is closed by then. God Bless you, you have traveled a long hard road and if you can do it I guess I better put my hiking boots on Thanks again

Hey Jennifer Sorry about the long post,... I basically just wanted to say Hang in there, it WILL get better soon, you will see. We are all pulling for you, your in our thoughts and prayers. Sometimes I get over inthused with the exuberance of my own berbosity. Hugs Hang in there Godspeed in your healing Timmy Ray

Hello Jennifer~ I am so sorry that you are having complications. The good news is that you HAVE lost 37 pounds and as soon as this infection is cleared up-you are going to need new pants!! I haven't had surgery yet, but I just wanted to post and tell you that you have lots of people thinking of you and praying for you on this board. Timmy's post was excellent, and I know him, he does mean every word of it! If you want to have someone call you, that has been through this, maybe even where you are right now, just shout out..... Timmy does have a LIST! I also think it's a great idea to say the positive affirmations to yourself, outloud, it does help. It has been proven, and it will make you feel better Godspeed in your healing and I will be praying for you. Michelle in Brick

Michelle, thank you so much in times of need god sends people to you to help carry your burdens and I thank you all for that keep me in your prayers. Jennifer

Jennifer I am going to email you later today with a couple numbers... a couple ladies have called me at home with a lot of enthusiasm, both are post surgery and are eager to share and get to know folks that are newly post op or pre op. I been up all night and need to crash, sleep beckons for a little bit anyway but this afternoon I promise to send you email and phone numbers for a couple gals that would love to chat with you on the phone if you are willing? This way its up to you, by giving you the numbers thyen whethre you call or not is up to you.. no pressure : ) Hugs, I hope you are feeling better, write and tell us how your doing God Bless Timmy Ray