Lawyers !

The first attempt at humor for the Bar Admitted..... (sung to the tune of the Hokey Pokey... That's What The Law's About "You have to dot those i's. You've got to cross those t's. You have to seem so wise. You must justify those fees. And if you're smart and lucky You will turn your case around. That's what the law's about..." You have a client from hell How they came cant tell the judge just rang the bell You must Justify those fees... And if you're smart and lucky You will turn your case around. That's what the law's about..." You do the Lawyer...pokey you do the lawww yer pokey You do the lawyer.. pokey That's what the law's about..." :P Bad Lawyer Jokes What's the difference between female prosecutors and terrorists? . . . You can negotiate with terrorists. The tooth fairy, an honest lawyer, and an expensive, dishonest lawyer are in the same room. There is a $500 bill on a table in the room. When they leave, the money is gone. Who took it? . . . Since there is no such thing as the tooth fairy, the answer is obvious. What do you call parachuting lawyers? . . . Skeet. How do you greet a lawyer with an IQ of 50? . . . "Good morning, your honor." What do lawyers use for birth control? . . . Their personalities. Why does California have the most lawyers and New Jersey the most toxic waste dumps? . . . New Jersey had first choice! Why do pharmaceutical company laboratories now use lawyers rather than lab rats for testing? . . . Lawyers breed faster, so there are more of them. . . . Lab personnel don't get as emotionally attached to them. . . . Lawyers do things rats won't. . . . Animal protection groups don't get nearly as excited. . . . Some people actually LIKE rats. What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? . . . Two dobermans! What happens when a lawyer is made godfather? . . . He makes you an offer you can't understand. What's the difference between a lawyer and a snake run down on the highway? . . . Skid marks in front of the snake. What do you have when you have ten lawyers buried up to their necks in sand? . . . Not enough sand! What do you call 100 lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean? . . . A good start. How do you know when a lawyer is lying? . . . Her lips are moving. What's the difference between a poisonous snake and a lawyer? . . . You can make a pet out of the snake. What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? . . . The leech will let go and drop off after its victim dies. What do lawyers and bullfrogs have in common? . . . Both have a big head that consists mainly of mouth. Why do they bury lawyers twelve feet deep? . . . Because deep down, they are really good guys! What do male lawyers and sperm have in common? . . . Only one in two million do any real work! How do you tell the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? . . . One wallows in the mud and is a blood- sucking scavenger -- the other is a fish! Why don't lawyers go to the beach? . . . Cats keep trying to bury them. What's the definition of the term "flagrant waste"? . . . That's a busload of lawyers going off the edge of a cliff with a vacant seat. What's the difference between a porcupine and two lawyers in a Porsche? . . . With a porcupine, the *****s are on the outside. What do you get when you run an "honest lawyer" contest? . . . No winners. What do a baker and lawyer have in common? . . . They both enjoy carving up the pie. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? . . . Cut the rope. How many lawyers can you put on the head of a pin? . . . Ten, if you make them stand on their heads. What's the difference between a vulture and a lawyer? > . . . The vulture doesn't take its wing tips off at night. What's the difference between a vulture and a lawyer? . . . The vulture doesn't get frequent flyer miles!

you on a lawyer roll today??? i'm still smiling roberta

Now now... Don't hate lawyers, hate the people who hire them.

eeek ! I need to engage you to represent me due to the flood of irritated emails from lawyers, daughters of lawyers, wives of lawyers. I received like 5 irritated emails, most from lurkers or people I have never even seen or heard of. wooo. Egads. Who knew? Methinks the next time... well like I said there wont be a next time, I hath learned my lesson. How hard would it be to book a number of seats together, either for Rumors, or Grease or both? I think it might be a blast to have people get together and attend a performance (of one or both) and then meet for coffee or something after? Just a thought... suddenly I realized .. "who died and promoted me to social director?" In truth, no one, I guess I just think it would be cool to do some stuff as a group. Anyhow.. Have a good week : ) God Bless Timmy Ray

Your absolutely right : )