Who was your hardest....

Jewels,
 I am glad you will share this with her. It is important seeing as it is a MAJOR surgery.

My only suggestion to you is..........

Telling her the day before might all be good However... then you will have to listen to the negative Nancy stuff while you are trying to heal and get all this new stuff under control.

If it were me..and it is not! I guess I would deal with it prior. You can always say something like: oh sorry I have to go, when things get to negative. Make your self busy as much as possible to avoid conflict and give her time to process.

I know how parents can be a PITA (pain in the arse) but they are aging,times have changed and some day when they are no longer around, we will wish they were still bytching at us for something. Cherish each and every bytch fest that comes your way.

I say all this as a Mother,Grandmother,Friend,co-worker and anything thing else.
I wish you the best of luck on your upcoming/start of your journey, keep us posted!
Kelly/tink

Thanks for the input!  It's just so hard to actually say it to her.  I've wanted to so many times!  Hell, I went thru 18 weeks of required classes to even be eligible for surgery at Altru and she came with me and I had her fooled that it was weight loss classes......it "kinda" was, right??!! ha ha!  The generation differences are so vast and my mother is more elderly than other ppl my age as she had me so late in life....after 8 others!  They grew up giving so unselfishly, that I KNOW she won't understand wanting to do this for ME!  I find some ppl mix us doing this with their feelings, and really, not to sound snotty,  they are irrelevant in my decision.  This is about me, my health and my hubby and kids!!  Thanks guys!

That is not sounding snotty because this is for you! It is one time in your life where you put yourself before all others.  My mom is almost 80. She was ok with this, as if she had a choice really LOL but,she doesn't understand most of it. She thinks I can't have good foods. Should you be having that? What about your diet? etc.... She views this as a diet, not a life style change. It must be the generation thingy. Life style change just doesn't compute in her mind. I just let it go and do for me. I am sure when she sees me maybe then it will sink in. Seeing is believing. She has not seen me in 7 months and I am 6 months out. She has not seen the changes. She will not see the changing until the end of May. I will be 9 months out then. She will complain that I had a better personalty when I had a bit of weight on me. LOL I know her drill
Have a wonderful weekend and remember it is all about you!
Kelly

You are absolutely right - it's entirely about you & especially since your husband supports you, you have the essentials of what you need to move forward with your big decision.  I've been struggling with this issue with someone in my life too & so I sympathize with you!  I figure that it's based on true concern for me & that once I am a few weeks past surgery & am safe & sound, their fears will pass.  Good luck with your surgery!