"EXPERTS"

OK, Maybe I am being a little over excited, but this is just how am I feeling today I guess.  But, has anyone encountered the person who all of a sudden becomes a weight loss surgery expert when they find out you are having surgery?  And the worst part is half of the stuff they tell you is negative!!!!!  Why do people do this???  All they want to tell me about is so and so gained all of her or his weight back.. Yeah and, that was them.  HELLO!  I am me.  Just give me a little bit of support and stop assumimg I am going to fail!  Darn! 
OK, I feel better, thanks for listening!!!!

I know, it is troubling how a lot of people have negative reactions when they find out you're going to have the surgery...so much so that it's refreshing when you find someone who is actually excited for you when you tell them. 
And of course, it's always hours after you talk with the "Negative Nancy's" that you think of something clever to say.  Like, "Why would they continue to perform the surgery if it's never successful?"  People who are saying things like that need to EDUCATE him/herself before trying to "educate" us.  Maybe that's what we need to say to them...how much have YOU read up on it?  If you read up on it, you'll find out that , yes, you can put the weight back on IF YOU DON'T FOLLOW YOUR DOCTOR'S INSTRUCTIONS.   Many people don't realize it's just a "tool" to help get you started, it does not solve all your problems or keep you from gaining weight after the first couple of years after your stomach pouch stretches some.  If people continue their bad eating habits, then "DUH?!?" they're going to gain their weight back.  Tell your "friend" that you have done the research and you are going to follow your doctor's instructions!

Odd to say, but I think some people are actually jealous when they hear it, too...bec/ they know we're going to look good after we have it...albeit a few months down the road after the surgery...(maybe even better than them!)

 Yeah, Jen, I know.  You are exactly right.  Thanks!

Hi,

A lot has to do with lack of knowledge, fear and concern for you.  People who don't know enough about weight loss surgery tend to act like this.  And, of course, those who have felt that the surgery has failed them, will let you know.  You kind of have to sift through all this and see where they are coming from.  Yea, it can be frustrating, but hang in there.

It might help to know that there is a 'failure' rate of about 20%, that the good news is that the success rate is about 80% and there is no other weight loss method that has an 80% success rate. BTW, this definition of success is looking at sustained weight loss 5 years post op. Other weight loss methods have a paltry 3 to 5% success rate. Also, if you are affiliated with a multidisciplinary practice that provides behavior modification support, nutritional support, and monthly support groups, along with long term follow up you are likely to have a good outcome.

It does **** me off when someone takes something someone has said as gospel. Like so and so had the surgery and they died- lol uh no they didnt because I just talked to them the other day, unless they were a zombie.
I love it when people do that because not only can I let them have it with FACTS but also tell them to do research before opening their mouths.
One of the biggest hurdles I overcame was with my MIL. She was totally against me having it done and even told me things about people we both know who has had it done that things went wrong. And yes things did go wrong with these people BUT because they chose to not follow rules. Now three weeks after getting the surgery she is so supportive. I just had to give her the proverbial nudge that I did this for one reason and one reason only- me.

If you chose to let the naysayers sit in your head you will most likely fail BUT if you chose to educate those naysayers then you have gotten one up on them.

I had lap band and revised to RNY.  Only told people close to me that i was having revision.  OTher people know but know that I don't want to talk about it so they don't say anything.

I did not want to hear all of the negativity.  I made my choice to revise and it was a hard choice.

I only told 3 of my closest friends at work.  2 were very supportive.  The other, while being happy for me, did have to tell me about 2 people that we work with who have gained all their weight back AND her own mother who gained weight back and to be careful.  Its frustrating but I told her that I have a great support group (here at OH, other friends & family) and I will NOT let myself fail at this. Needless to say she and I haven't really talked much more about my surgery at all and that's fine by me.

80/20 are some pretty good stats - I'm going to keep that as another motivator as well!!