Support Neded

My surgery date is June 27th with Dr. Enochs. I have been looking foward to this day for a while. But the closer it gets I am getting a little worried. Also my wife and some other friends and Family have been trying to talk me out of haveing the surgery stating I don't need it. And that could lose the weight on my own. Do people relize how dishearting and unsupportive they are with comments like these. Yes I know things can go wrong, but I also know things can go right. I pray everyday that the Lord watches over me and help me with my decision.I just can not believe some people nerve when talking to me. They are telling me I don't need that junk and I can loose it on my own. It is all about what you eat and exercise. But what really gets my bioling is the ones saying this are just as much over weight as I am. I thinking if it is so darn easy why are you not on the cover of some of these fitness mags. Some people never surpise me. Everyone always has a story of someone who had problem after their gastric bypass, but know one eve remebers the ones who had no problems and their lives where truely changed. Sorry for the Rant. I feel better. 

As my wife is now having second thoughts her self which don't it any easier on me. Now I am afraid if any thing goes wrong she will always blow it back in my face saying it is because of the stupid surgery you just had to have,

I don't have a lot of wisdom to pass your way but I will be thinking of you!!  I can say you will be in the hands of one of the best surgeons around.  I have had "0" problems since my surgery and I give the credit to Dr. Enochs - he is a wonderful surgeon.  All I can say is you have to do what you feel you need to do - I could not lose the weight on my own - and had multiple health issues which have all disappeared now.  I have no regrets and now I am LIVING LIFE, not hiding from life.

Good luck!

Stratos,

I am going through this in my own life- not with the hubby and ONE of my sisters but everyone else. If we could loose it the other way and keep it off we would have done did that.
YOU need to do this for YOU. I would be willing to bet that you put others before you all the time and could give two shoots about yourself in a situation, right?
Well time to stop, it is time to be selfish and let them know it is YOUR decision. They really should quit sabotaging. It could be that they fear they will not have you around IF something were to happen. From what I have read and heard about Dr.Enochs, he is fabulous. You are in capable hands.
Sorry for those out there that are going through this. WE have self-sabotaged ourselves for too long to have other people do it to us too.

You go right ahead and RANT - this is the place for it. You said it yourself: if it were that easy we'd have already done it.

I had my surgery just 2 weeks ago and have family support so I'm not one to give advice. But I made it through with no complications so far (knock wood) and all the friends I've made through this process are doing great. That doesn't mean complications don't happen and they might happen to you or not. But think of it from your own perspective and react from your own perspective if your wife throws it in your face. Tell her how disappointed you are that she can't be supportive of you. Tell her you'd love her support and if she can't give it right now you still love her. Try to make her see that her lack of support is hurting you.

Maybe that sounds too much like guilting someone into a new behaviour. If so, scrap all that, LOL, and just know that there are others out here who will support you and will listen to your rants with recognition and who will pray for you on the 27th.

Stratos,

First of all, please know that it is normal to start getting a bit nervous as surgery approaches even if you don't have a bunch of naysayers barking at your heals. Granted, this is major surgery. That said, it's about as safe and/or dangerous as having gall bladder surgery and the recovery is about the same. I understand that your friends and family are afraid for you and I'm sure that they do know some people that have had a negative experience. However, this surgery is an overwhelmingly safe and successful surgery. I don't know if your family has taken notice, but there is only about a 3 percent success rate for those who use any other method of weight loss. Success is defined as not only losing, but keeping of the excess weight for 5 years or more. With RNY the success rate is an astounding 80 percent. If they could get those odds with anything else, they would be lining up to buy a lottery ticket and get the first plane to Las Vegas! So, the scary part is that means that there are about 20 percent that either don't lose to their potential or they experience regain. Most people will lose, but some will find ways to sabotage their weight loss and it can be done. That said, you can make the behavior changes necessary to keep the weight off. Once you lose the weight, you will be on a much more level playing field and will always have your pouch available to help you maintain the weight loss in the long term.

I think that at some point you will probably need to let those who can not support you know that you appreciate their concern, but that you have made your decision and you would now appreciate their respect as you move forward. I think it will be very important to connect with one or more support groups, especially if you are having lack of support issues at home, work, etc... 

Wishing you all the best as you move forward on a journey of lifetime,

Dr Enochs is a great surgeon. You are in good hands. He did my rny last year in April, and i went home the next day without complications. I took pain meds for maybe 4 days in all.

the nervousness you are feeling is normal. we all went through it, but for me it was so worth it! the only regret i have is i didnt do this surgery sooner. look at the light at the end of the tunnel! you will get there and it will all be that much better..

good luck with your surgery. you will be in my prayers...