Confession time

At over 2 years out...you'd think it would be a whole lot easier to stick to the plan.Well honestly that's how I feel about it. Well it's not easy. Nothing in life is ever easy. EXCEPT falling back into bad habits and making "bad" decisions. So here comes my confession.....

** I haven't been exercising like I know I need to.
** I've let my love of comfort foods dictate when, how, what and where I eat.
** I've not tracked my intake of food & water like I know I need to.
** Basically I've become lazy and non-compliant.

** I haven't been exercising like I know I need to. Okay so this one I've recruited help on doing. I bought me and my Moma each a new pair of walking shoes for her birthday and signed  her up to walk int he OBX marathon in November with me. Nothing motivates me quite as quickly as thinking I may have wasted a few $$$$. I fully intend to wear these shoes out. Hopefully the Cardiologist will clear me at tomorrow's check up to start a twice a week yoga class that Parks and Rec starts offering next week. 

** I've let my love of comfort foods dictate when, how, what and where I eat  When I started typing this I only had the word what I eat. But upon closer inspection I realize that it's so much more. Early out I never imagined myself eating in front of the TV ever again. I thought for sure my late night meals were over too - maybe an occasional late "mini meal" if it was for something social but so many bad habits crept back in. When I stopped meauring portions and actually sitting down for my meals (regardless of the size) things started to spiral. Since it's confession time I'll also add that I started stocking the pantry with David's favorite junk fod and cookies and soon realized that I can eat a few without dumping. I really didn't need to know that I don't dump.

** I've not tracked my intake of food & water like I know I need to Tracking my food was never something that I loved to do. I'm not detail oriented like that. But it holds me accountable. Even if it's at the end of the day and there's nothing I can do to change the outcome for that day - it still gives me a sense of heading in the right direction. Tracking my water intake is so simple but when I don't drink like I should then I get "backed up" and well that makes me GROUCHY. Simply marking off those glasses of water and decaf tea throughout the day keeps me on track and healthy.

** Basically I've become lazy and non-compliant.  That's how it looks to me at least. I'm not going to beat myself up over it but I am going to use today's confessional as a way to dump off the baggage and get myself headed in the right direction. (yet again).  I can do this. I've come to far and made to much progress to let obesity win. 

Thanks for "listening" to me. 
- Iris 

Wow, Iris, i could have written this myself... i'm 3 years out... having the same problems, doing the same dumb things, Totally non compliant!!! 

During July/August we had a death in the family and i was out of town for about 4 weeks... gained 10 lbs by eating out all the time, came back hom for 3 weeks, lost 5 lbs but had to go back out of town and now i'm back up to a 10 lb gain!!!  I tell myself i'm gonna change my evil ways... but i don't!!  And yes, i can eat ANYTHING without dumping.  I tell myself i'm going to join Weigh****chers and get a fresh start... but i don't!

I eat snackage at night, and can't seem to stop.  I shock myself by how much i can actually eat!!  I can eat a WHOLE sandwich... do i need a whole sandwich... NO, I don't, but i can and will eat it....

I'm almost 3 years out so you would certainly think i would know better... and i do.  But knowing doesn't stop me. 

Thank you for listening!!!  

((((Judy)))),

I'm so sorry that the difficulties have continued and hope that it gets better soon. If you look at my response to Iris, maybe my suggestion to her might help you too. You've come a long way and you deserve to do what you need to do take care of yourself my friend. 

Love you,

((((Iris,))))

The fact that you are here and are talking about what you are doing is a good step in the right direction. I have been doing something to help me do what I need to do to take care of myself and it's been helping, maybe it will help you. Each morning I think of one thing I like about my new body for each of the following categories: Appearance, Health, Quality of Life. Then I think about what I need to do to maintain my body so that I can continue to enjoy those benefits. I know that it may sound hokey and too simple, but to be honest, I've found it to be really powerful for me. It allows me to laser focus on why I want to do what I need to do and what doing that is 'worth.'

I'm glad that you are looking at doing what you need to do to take care of you.

Hi, Iris!

I truly think that by sharing the way that you have, you're still on the right path.  So many times in the past, when I felt like I was "cheating", or not sticking to the program, I'd just give up, and go back to my old ways.   Most of the time I was really secretive about my behaviors, and only I knew that I was eating poor choices of foods, not exercising, etc.

It's said the "confession is good for the soul", so I KNOW that you'll be fine!  We're human, and not perfect......you've done so well and have come so far.......we've got a great support system on this message board, and you know you can call me ANYTIME!!!

With all this being said.....today is my second "surgiversary"!  Two years ago today I weighed 337 lbs, couldn't walk to the mailbox at the end of my driveway without getting winded, couldn't put on my shoes without using my socks to help pull my feet up, couldn't fit into a restaurant booth comfortably, and the list goes on and on and on.......I haven't been "perfect", either, but I am doing sooo much better and making much better choices now.  This morning I weighed in at 180 and 1/2 pounds ~ actually up two and 1/2 pounds since this Monday (normally I don't weight twice a week, but I did today because of the surgiversary), and I'm not gonna stress over it!  I'll get it back off and keep on working these tools I've been given.

Please don't beat yourself up too much.  We've done that in the past, and it doesn't work.  Today is a new day ~ go get 'em!!!!

Hugs to you, and I'm still ready for those bike rides!!!
Betsy