back after 3 yars of not coming on forum...new picks and updated!

I must have started on here right about the time you stopped. I'm glad you're back. There's a daily check in that we've been doing and it helps on accountability no matter what stage of the journey we find ourselves in. I'm finding the further out I get the harder it is to keep my head in the game. In the early stages your tool is doing all the work and well, I didn't take advantage of the opportunity to prepare myself as well as I should have for the period where I am now. I have to work at this. WLS is a lifetime commitment.

I hope you realize that we're here for you. Post often. PM me if you want to talk privately. Good Luck.

- Iris

I know about how hard it is to maintain after things "settle" I would eat small meals of junk and anything I wanted thinking aw this is great...

I had 14 surgeries in 2004 because a drunk driver ran me off the road and it led me to a hip replacment and every surgery I would gain more and more weight. I had to have the gastric cause I would have to have the replacment 5 years again if I did not get the weight off quick.

So I used to be able to just eat "normal" what ever that means..... Then all of a sudden!!!

So thats my story short version.

Hang in there. I think one of the hardest things to do is come back on here and basically "confess" our eating sins (so to speak). You've done that this morning. Somehow it just seems to help me to stay focused when I'm here.

Is there a face to face support group near where you live? Body image and relationship issues seem to be a widespread issue. Sometimes knowing we're not alone is all it takes. Don't be discouraged if it takes a while. I personally want things instantly. Whether it be weight loss or mended relationships - learning patience has been tough. It goes against my personality but everyday teaches me something new that I never would have believed myself capable of.

Yes I took atvantage of the fact that I was losing even though I ate anything. Scary thought to see me back were I started from.

I have no patients at all. I guess thats why its so hard to just do day to day things.
 wish I had a low key way of being.

Some days are great dont get me wrong.

I have just been keeping busy outside today and coming in to cool off and look on here.

I was on here three years ago, and then not again until just a few weeks ago.  My best advice is...keep coming back.  There are lots of supportive, caring people here.  Hang in there.  You're worth every effort!

Thank you so much and I am so grateful for the nice words!

Hey Linda,

It sure is good to see you again.

Warmly,

Barb

I'm like Iris, Melissa, I think I showed up as you left.

Nice to meet you.  I am not as full of advice that differs from much of what has already been suggested, so know that we are here for you whenever you need to talk. Many of us treat this forum as our therapy of sorts.

Share as you need. Barb, Iris, and Audra made some good suggestions. I like the a girls weekend (I have NEVER been on one! - that is an interesting story - I am full of them!)

Hang in there...One day at a time...

 

Hi Melissa,

I have been around long enough to remember you. I had my surgery 06/07. I'm so glad to see you back and you have come to the right place if you need support. I'm sure you've already seen the warmth and caring from Audra, Iris and Valerie. This is a wonderful place to get support no matter where you are in your journey. 

I too, struggle with depression and to be honest, mine doesn't really have anything to do with my WLS at all. My surgery didn't impact my depression positively or negatively. I guess that's a good thing. My depression isn't and wasn't a result of my excess weight so losing the weight didn't provide a positive impact for me. 

While some people do very well from a body image perspective after WLS, I hope it helps to know that many people struggle with their image of their new body. It is a very, very common topic of discussion at the support group meetings I have. Most people were not nearly as critical or judgmental about their bodies before WLS as they have become after surgery. I think we tend to be somewhat dismorphic when we are larger and for some reason are even more so as we get smaller. We didn't recognize how big we were before and now that we have lost the weight we are much more critical of our body shape and size. I know that I used to be reasonably comfortable in a swim suit before and even undressed in front of my dear husband. Now, it's a different story. I'm always covering my legs and arms when I'm in a suit. I'm much more self-conscious in the bedroom than I have ever been even though my husband was very attentive when I was heavy and continues to be now that I'm thin and look like a balloon that has had the air let out of it. He doesn't see the things I see and I would guess that the same is true for your husband. I have been very frank with my husband and I am also working with my own counselor on these issues and concerns because I do recognize that while this is my issue, it also significantly impacts my husband. 

Keep working on it and keep coming back. We'll be here and will do what we can to help.

Hang in there!