back after 3 yars of not coming on forum...new picks and updated!

Well,
Its been 3 years and now I am back. I have had such a struggle with so many issues.
Family life/needing attentiion........

now lonley and not know how to go about the next step for me.updated my profile...


just not sure how I work anymore.
I am needing to get up with a list to do or I just sit.
am at goal but my body is yukky!

My husband man.... he ah want ah and ah I am not. Its a body image thing. He thinks I am not wanting him...........That is not it.

Kids well they are kids but I have no patients it seems...
I am on meds for helping but still feel this somedays
somedays are wonderful
Wow ok I am done....
I wonder if anyone even remembers me...probably not 3 years is a long time.

Hi Melissa, I have not been here long enough to remember you, but welcome back. Life does get hectic and kids do take up alot of our time. Mine are 11 and 14 and some days I feel like i just need a vacation without someone asking me for something (even 30 minutes lol).
It sounds like you may need to talk to someone about your body image. It is important not only for your relationship but for your own happiness. I used to have  body image issues at 284 pounds, so I would constantly tell my husband his compliments were lies! It has taken him a while to realize I am happy with myself and it is OK to compliment me now. We make our men folk crazy with all our body image issues.
I found a therapist a couple years ago for some things I needed to work through and it was the BEST gift I had ever given myself. It is easier to take care of others (like our kids) then it is to take care of ourselves. You ARE WORTH IT.
Hapiness is a choice you make, somedays yes and somedays no. Like a friend told me you never get this time back so make the most of every day.
Hope you do not mind me sharing my opinion and suggestions. I am only 5 months out RNY and I am feeling great and my outlook has definitly affected my daily life and relationships.
Good luck
Audra

I do not mind at all! I a grateful for anyone right now.... its like I hit a brick wall with everything and feel like I need to just walk away from everyone.... Its scary cause they all need me. I am a mother and I said that... I feel so ashamed at myself for feeling this way. My husband just seems to give me these guilt trips about having........ and I lose interest.

Do you ever take a weekend or so just for yourself. I just took a girls weekend to the beach and it did a world of good. You should not feel guilty, it is overwhelming to be the care taker of a family and all that involves. I am also a nurse so asking for help and admiting you can't do it all is also very hard. It sounds like you could use one of those girl laughing weekends.
Take a deep breath and know other women go through these things also
Audra

You know...... I really maybe did that one time.
It did not work out so well.........

The husband and I did that.. we did have fun but he is all about not wanting me to be hit on....

OK I mean a girl trip Taking your husband along does not spell relaxation. You need a weekend totally about you, just relax and laugh. Can he stay home and care for the children? and you and your friends or family go to a hotel or near by beach for the weekend or even a night? men will never understand us women, so you need a break from that to.
Keep smiling
Audra

Yeah......like that ill ever happen.. I dont really have many friends that I really go off with. I revolve around kids and him... I know I know.... But, the people I do see are at church and at the school line and neighbors who I dont go out with.....

OK girly, we have to find you a way to relax and recharge your batteries. Does your parents live close to come and keep the kids? I enjoy my girls trips, so maybe we will have to meet so you can join me on one. You have to train your husband now before it is to late. They are his children also. Sometimes you have to do what you need to do for yourself and in turn for everyone else. You will be much happier and relaxed if you can find time to take for yourself. I promise your kids and husband will notice the difference. My husband did not love me going away without him, but he has learned over the last 19 years that that is what I need to continue to be the strong caretaker in the family. Even going out for the day to shop and eat out without someone wanting something from you helps you get through the hard days. Maybe start witha once a month night out. I am in Raleigh and I am not sure were Salsbury is or how far away you are.
How old are you? how ald are your children?

I hope you can find some time for yourself. Have you considered a therapist?
Audra

I am 34 going to be 35..................soon. my two boys are 7 and 12. Salisbury is about 2 hours from you and 30 min to Charlotte. I do see a therapist. She is really good to me. For some reason I haver really hit a hill.

I moved to NC from PA so all my family are there.

I am so sorry you are struggling. Have you had your labs checked lately. My sister hit a wall at around 5 years and had to have iron infusions. Maybe some of your electrolytes or vitamins are low, adding to your feelings. That is funny you moved here from PA, I am from Pittsburgh and my sister still lives in Monroeville. I still consider it home, but am very blessed to have my mom in town. If there is anything I can help you with or if you would like my cell # to just vent, feel free to send me a message and I will send you my info.
Have a great day
Audra