STRESSED!

I had my final pre-op appointments before my surgery on Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday I met with Dr. Pryor and went to the hospital to pre-register. I had a bit of an emotional time at the surgeon's office, jus****ching the video and everything that could POSSIBLY go wrong! Dr. Pryor was very reassuring, though, and took time to answer any questions my husband and I had.

At the hospital I went back to have another EKG and blood draw and ran into someone who had GP 13 months ago. She was very excited and exuberent, but I think she scared the crap out of my husband. She is in the process of a divorce following the changes of her surgery and now my husband is stressed that I'm going to change so much that it will change our relationship. Anyone else experience this? augh. I tried explaining to him that we don't know the situation of their relationship and that we are committed to each other and have a strong marriage.

I am a big ball of stress right now. My brother in-law, who has had two other operations to remove brain tumors, found out yesterday that he is going to need surgery again to remove another one. My mother and father in-law are selling their house and are in the process of downsizing. They are selling their house on Wednesday the 7th, two days after my surgery, and don't have a new place yet. This has been a very stressful few weeks and adjusting to the pouch is going to be difficult I fear! Any words of hope, advice, or encouragement?

Also...any liquid drinks, juices, other things besides crystal light, that you drank after surgery and loved? I found Snapple Noni Berry Refresh which I love, but it's 5 more calories (15) than is allowed.

Is the lady who mentioned her divorce an employee at the hospital?  Several people in my pre-op support group said the lady who did their EKG told them that her husband got very jealous and left her after she lost all the weight from the surgery.  Probably not the best story to tell people who are already stressed out about going in for a major life change!  If your marriage is solid now, the surgery will probably just make it better, not worse. 

I had my surgery on Monday, 3/29, by Dr Pryor, and everything went so well.  Durham Regional is a well oiled machine when it comes to this surgery, and I was home by Tues at 5pm.

So far, the pain has been minimal and I have been able to get up and around a lot more than I thought I would.  Can't sleep right now, but I think my sleep patterns are a little out of whack from the past couple of days.  I have been drinking the Boost High Protein Vanilla shake, but am going out today in search of more variety.  I had a Carnation Instant Breakfast Vanilla shake in the hospital and it was pretty good.

You are in excellent hands with Dr. Pryor! 

I'm 4 weeks post op as of yesterday and my husband has been very supportive, but he does have his spells of doubt. Just like you I have to reassure him that I'm not planning to go anywhere and that our relationship is strong and my plan is for it to stay that way, no matter how much I may loose. Just keep reinforcing that you love him and don't plan to go anywhere, sometimes they get it and sometimes it takes a while to sink in.

It is amazing how things you used to "love" before surgery, aren't that high up on your list after surgery. I do drink Crystal light occasionally, but mostly I just drink plain water. Of course they say you can have decaf coffee and tea sweetened with Splenda, but for me the plain water is just fine. It may be that I'm afraid to go over the 5 g of sugar in anything in the fear of "dumping."

I'm sure others will have more ideas to offer! Hang in there until Monday and congratulations!!

Hey girl, Congratulations the day is almost here. Take a deep breath and ignore all the negative things you hear. People always feel the need to let you know what could happen. Things are going to be emotional and stressful but you can and will make it through. My husband and I are actually closer I feel like, since he has had to take care of me and worry about me more than his self. I also had my surgery through the Duke system and I am a nurse, so if there is anything I can do for you or answer any questions now, during or after the big day, do not hesitate to contact me. If you want my cell # or e-mail just send me a message.
I wish all the best for you. This is an around the world type journey not a quick ride down the road so take one day at a time and be patient with yourself.
Audra

Thanks everyone! I appreciate your hope and enouragement. Yes, it was a nurse at the hospital. She was very happy she had the surgery, but it is scary going in and it wasn't helpful to hear about all the changes upfront.

The video must be a new thing, OR I was sleeping that day!

Dr Pryor did my surgery and I have absolutely no complaints. Definitely continue to ask questions. Ask them everything you can think of. I did! Should have seen her face when we were in the OR and I asked her if she knew everyone in the room! That story is for another time…

They emphasized all that can go wrong, but focus on what will go right. You will be fine, but if you have concerns, be sure to voice them. Talking about them will help.

The additional stresses are no help, so take some time to just focus on you. Relax and do not worry too much about adjusting. Take it one day, even one moment at a time.

As far as liquids, your taste buds may change. My experience was some of what I liked before surgery tasted awful after surgery. Even the chewable Centrum vitamins I was taking! I stopped those real quick and had to switch. Keep a couple of different things on hand to try after surgery and then stock up once you find something you like and can tolerate.

 

I had a pack of Boost, Ensure, and Slimfast ready for after surgery. Could not stand the taste and now lactose intolerant so my hubby drank them. Stock a little with some variety so you can experiment. I do not remember having a calorie limit but again, I may have been sleep!

 

On to the most important topic…hubby. My hubby has been by my side through this incredible journey. I know he had his terrified moments. He tells me to this day he hated seeing me in the hospital. He felt helpless to help me. I think he did a great job swabbing my mouth after surgery! He thought that was fun! Anyway, I have heard troubles can come, but I do believe if you have a solid marriage, you will weather whatever storm comes your way. I agree with the other folks to keep reinforcing your love for him. His concerns are natural.

 

Surgery was almost 4 years ago and we are more in love everyday! He gets a kick out of ‘feeling my bones’. He grabs me everyday and plays ‘lets count the bones’! As a side note, my husband married me when I was already over 300 pounds. He has continued to love me even at my highest around 400. When I first told my dad about the surgery he said I had better not go messing around with ‘me’ too much as my hubby married me a certain way. Hubby has no regrets and is still getting used to the smaller me.

 

Hang in there and keep sharing. We are here to help!

 

I think that fractured relationships probably are on shakier ground after someone goes through an empowering metamorphosis, especially if the partner is not secure in their own place in their relationship. That said, I found that we have not had any 'problems' as a result of our weight loss, nor have most of our friends who have had WLS. If you are able to come to some of our support groups that I hold in Raleigh, you and your husband will meet a number of couples who have come through this as strong or stronger.

Wishing you all the best as you set out on the journey of a lifetime. 

Thanks! I plan on coming to the support group. I do have THREE whole weeks off from work! :) And I'll drag my amazing husband with me

I look forward to meeting you and your husband!