Telling others about surgery decision

I too only told select people prior to my surgery.  Of course hubby was beside me all the way, but prior to surgery, i only told 2 close friends that i knew would be supportive.  i basically felt that is was a very private and personal decision, and i didn't want to have to explain my choice to anyone.  Now that i've had my surgery, i've told a few more people, but only a very few.  i'm a very private person.  Even my sister in law, who lives out of town doesn't know.  When i was recuperating after surgery, she thought i just had a flu!  I didn't tell her that, she made that assumption and i just didn't try to dispell her opinion.  But of course, that's just me!

(((Amanda))),

Only you can decide what is best for you. I am very open about my surgery, but others prefer privacy. That doesn't mean that I shout it to the world or tell every one I meet, but a lot of friends and neighbors noticed the loss and asked me how I lost the weight. I'm honest and I tell them.

I don't think that there is a right or wrong way to proceed. I would bet that your parents will support you and I imagine your friends will too. For me, it was important to share this with my Mom and some other family that I'm close to. I didn't tell everyone until I was a bit down the road; but my mom knew early on. I told a couple of close friends prior to surgery. I told my family and closest friends, because if they were having major surgery and didn't tell me, I'd be hurt and upset.

My mother and sister were scared silly about my surgery; I kept them in the loop ... as a matter of a fact, I let my mother accompany me to any medical appointments she wanted to come to so that she could ask any questions she had ... It really was a big help to her. She still worried, but I have to say that now, almost 9 months later she is one of my biggest cheerleaders. It's not that I think you need to involve your friends and/or family to the extent I did with my mother, or at all for that matter. I'm just saying that I appreciated her concern for my welfare, I listened to her concerns and mulled them over, but ultimately it was my decision and I made that clear. I also had friends who "knew people" who had had terrible complications from the surgery and shared their concerns with me. I appreciated their concerns and input, but again, after careful consideration, I made my own decision ... as I know you will.

I honestly have not had a great deal of "stigma" issues to deal with ... One from a lady who works at a Catherine's ... not a problem, I can't even shop in there anymore ... LOL ... But, generally, I have found people inquisitive and curious, not judgemental.

Re: you've lost weight before ... We all have ... I'll be your dad did too, but the problem is that it came back ... every time. What we are all hoping to do with this, is to break the cycle. You have a much better chance at actually being successful in the long term ... 5 to 10 years down the road with the surgery. We all know that having the surgery isn't just to take the weight off quickly ... that's a side benefit. The reason we are opting for this "solution" is that it gives us a tool we have never had before to help us not only get the excess weight off, but keep it off. Those who make comments about taking the "easy way out" are being short-sited and uninformed. It's not easy to make the decision to undergo a surgical procedure to lose weight, it's not magical to actually lose the weight ... as you know, you have to work at it, and more that it will be work to keep it off, but at least now you'll have a tool that you can use to help you keep it off.

I wish you peace as you make your decision ... also, realize that it can be a fluid thing. You may decide to hold off telling many people until you are more comfortable. Whatever you decide, it's your journey and it will be fine.

Warmly,

Barb

Barb, Thank you so much for your insight.  I bet my mom would really like to come to some appointments, too.  It would probably help her be more comfortable about the surgery. By the way, congratulations on being able to shop somewhere other than Catherines.  One of the things I am looking forward to is being able to shop at the "regular" stores in the "regular" sections.  I love Lane Bryant's clothes, but they cost more and I only have one store to choose from.  It will be nice to go into any store and find anything I want in my size!!! Thank you, again, for your advice and sharing your story.  It helps to hear what others have decided and how it turned out for them. Amanda