How women react to my weight loss... wierd

I know this is a touchy subject, well to me.  This is my experience and I am curious if anyone else has seen it in their lives. We all have family, friends, acquaintances and coworkers that we deal with on a regular basis.  Many have watched us lose a lot of weight.  I found that many folks change as I approach and pass their own personal weight.  Ok so many people felt sorry for me when I was fat, I know that.  I didn't like that, but appreciate empathy over ugliness.  This stage of (OMG she's smaller than me!) brings on a not so nice series of looks, comments and inuendos that I have now come to expect.  It seems to be a stage that (with kindness and patience) we pass through with time.  I might add it's not "everyone" but many. I don't feel I have changed for anything but the better.  I am well, I feel great and I am happier.  I believe this is reflected in all I do.  Maybe this renewed sense of happiness, the spark and smile, come across as bragging.  But I won't subdue my joy to appease someone elses unhappiness. Has anyone else experienced this?  The only stable emotions I am feeling are from yall, my doctors, church family and my Mom, who is ecstatic that I am losing weight and happy!  Mom told me yesterday that she tells folks (with pride) that "my daughter in NC had that surgery and is doing wonderfully!"  Love having Mom's blessing! Love, Diane p.s. Will someone please go to work for me today at 3:30 pm?  I would like to have the day off.

I can't say that I can relate to what you're going through, but I'm sure that people around you are indeed happy for you despite what they are showing you on the outside...at least I would like to think that they are. It's always hard to see someone achieve the same goals they also have for themselves. I’m sure that once they come around and start to reach for their goals that the sense you are getting from them will pass. Don’t let them get to you! This too shall pass.

 

 

Can I have the day off too? It’s my birthday today and not only do I have to work all day today (7am-7pm) but I have to work all weekend!

 

Happy Birthday to YOU!!!!  I called in and took a personal day on my birthday.  I am out of personal days til Jan 1.  I pray your birthday is joyous despite the fact that you have to work. Love, Diane

Since my personal days roll over, I'm saving them til next year...when I hope to have my surgery. I am saving my vacation days for an actual vacation once I'm healed! Thanks for the birthday wishes!

Diane,
I wanted to share one of my favorite pieces with you.  I always find it incredibly inspiring during times like you're experiencing now.    ((hugs))

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, talented and fabulous. Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us -- it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. -Marianne Williamson

Oh Amy, If that isn't the most beautiful poem I've ever heard.  Thank you so much.  It never ceases to amaze me how God works through people to give us just what we need.  Thank you and God Bless, Diane

Diane, I am constantly amazed at the way women tend to tear each other down.  The same women that were sweet to me when I was 425 pounds now act like I'm some sort of threat.  I suppose that's the root of why some women do this to each other.  They aren't threatened by someone who is morbidly obese.   When we lose weight, suddenly they're not the pretty one anymore.  I actually have someone in my life that is really having issues with the fact that I wear the same size that she does now and will most likely end up smaller than her when all is said and done. It saddens me that women don't work more to build up each other.  I think that it would behoove us as women to work harder to support and build up each other.  I heard a Phd talk about this on Oprah a few years ago, can't remember her name.  She felt that women as a whole could become a force to be reckoned with in the business and political world if we as a sex started to stand together. Just some thoughts... Take care. Ellen

Ellen, Thank you so much for confirming my feelings.  I can be overly sensitive at times and very self critical.  I think it must be something I said or did.  But I do try to be pleasant and show courtesy even in difficult situations. God Bless, Diane

Diane,  I totally understand what you're talking about!  It happened to me for a while and then they finally got used to me being the size I am and not what I was like before WLS.  You would think that if they saw you loosing the weight they'd be used to it just as quickly if not quicker than you are since they don't have the problems we have in visualizing our size.  I know it's weird.   Oh and by the way...  While we're asking...  Can someone come work for me also???  I'm at work now but I'd love to go home early!  I get off at 7am if you're interested... lol!!!

Hey Sheryl, I hope you're not working too hard!  I am just home from work and have to get up at 6 to be at church by 8:30 service (it's 60 miles away).  BTW I would love to work for you tonight, however, you neglected to tell me where to go.... soooooooooooooooo  I'll go to bed now instead.  LOL Love, Diane