My daughter is having bariatric surgery, HELP ME!

My daughter is having surgery, I am coming in from california to take care of her, how can I be supportive of her both pre and post surgery? What can I expect after surgery? Thanks! Rena

She is BLESSED to have someone to walk with her through this. Thank you. Before surgery: Be supportive. Loving. Encouraging. After surgery. Let her tell you what she needs. She will be in pain. Walk with her. (even in the middle of the night) Be patient. Don't take anything personal. Get things for her. Again, follow her lead. And thank you. Thank you. Diane B

After Surgery - Just Listen and Encourage.  I had to shield myself from negativity before surgery because its a bummer. Afterwards, do not eat or bring food around.  It's mentally so hard breaking up with food. I took about 1 hour to drink 2 ounces, I had to do this all day long.  It takes a long time. I had no one but my husband, he was supportive but having your mom there is the best. She's very lucky!!  You will do well too.

I think that those that posted before me are right, your daughter is a lucky woman. My mother will be with me when I have mine week after next.

If you are asking what to expect or what will happen, the following link might be helpful to you. http://secure.visualzen.com/duke/wlsc/patientmanual/default.aspx  (or go to www.DukeWLS.com, select Patient Manual from the tool bar on the left). You might ask her if there her Dr has a website you can visit. She will probably appreciate your interest. She needs to follow the dietary guidelines her Dr. recommends. Each Dr. has there own program.

I understand that while many recover easily, some may not. Even though we "Know" what we are signing up for, it involves enourmous life changes which may include physical pain, some phsycological and physiological adjustments. Also, depression is sometimes a component: sometimes, especially when folks are in pain or realize that they can't eat what everyone else does ... they can question their decision. It's usually temporary, but can be distressing. Having someone who is not judgemental and provides an understanding and supportive shoulder is such an incredible gift.

I hope that helps some.

I wish your daughter all the best as she embarks on this journey.

Barb

I live in NC now, but I'm still a CA girl at heart!

Barbara, Thanks for your posting.  I can't believe that my momma came here.  That is very exciting for me.  I was telling her about this and then there she is.  Thanks for your support once again, with my mom this time.  Take good care and let's get together this week. Your friend, Candice

Candice,

What a small world? I'm delighted that your mother is diving in to support you in any way that she can. She sounds like a warm, kind, thoughtful woman. It seems that apple doesn't drop far from the tree! Feel free to give your mother my contact info if she wants to chat, otherwise, I look forward to meeting your mom when she comes out.

Please check your calendar and let me know what works for you. I think my calendar is more flexible than yours. I'm looking forward to seeing you and hearing how things (WLS and otherwise) are going. 

Warmly,

B

Thank you all so much for your imput. All the information given is so much appreciated. Thanks Barbara for giving me the Duke site. That has helped me so much to know exactly what will happen.I am praying for a smooth journey for Candice and want to encourage and be there for Candice in any way i possibly can.I am so proud of her, she is my life. Thanks again for all that you all have helped her with and for myself too. I pray that  all of your journies will be postive and smooth as well. Hold your head up and smile so that others might see "the light" that shines in your eyes from up above. Take care of yourselves and God Bless. Candice's MOMMA, Rena'

Rena -

I had no I idea that I was talking with Candice's mom.What a small world? I know that she appreciates your support beyond words. It's so nice to "Meet" you. I look forward to actually meeting you when you come out from CA. Candice has told me so many nice things about you and your family.

I'm glad that the information I provided helped. Please feel free to contact me directly if there is anything else I might be able to help you with. (Candice has my direct and OH contact information) Candice is about the same age as my eldest children and I absolutely understand what you mean you say that she is your life. Actually, my sons live in the SF Bay Area. Small world. What do they say about six degrees of separation?!

It has truly been my delight to meet the absolutely lovely woman that your are fortunate enough to call daughter.

Candice seems to be doing "all the right things" as she has evaluated and wieghed her options. I know that she is not entering into to this life-changing opportunity and commitment lightly. For that reason, I think that she will be successful in using the tools she is surrounding herself with. I truly believe that this will be a positive, life-enhancing step for Candice. I think that this process is helping her find her "strength within"; and I think, like a butterfly she is emerging an empowered young woman. I wish that I could have done this at her age.

I look forward to making this journey with Candice and appreciate your prayers.

Warmly,

B

Barbara!  You are too kind.  Making me blush with all the wonderful kind words that you say!  You BIG day is only a few moments away!  How are you hanging in there?   My week has escaped me.  What does your day look like tomorrow?  Want to take a walk or meet for some coffee/tea?  Lunch time or evening works for me.  If not, I could do Friday lunch as well.  Unfortunately my flight leaves at 6 Friday night or that would be an option.  I also saw that you were having RNY!  That is terrific.  Just curious what made you change your mind? Nonetheless, call me and let's get together!  Take care, Candice

Candice -

It's starting to hit home that I, God willing, will be on the losing side of my journey this time next week. I'm a bit nervous, but so many other things are going on that I don't have too much time to dwell on what's coming.

I decided to do the RNY because I have an iron loading condition that makes the malabsorbtion favorable for me.

Let me check w/my husband. He has a minor procedure being done on thurs so I need to see what the schedule looks like. I'll be having my pre-op on Friday am.

I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

B.