question for post ops

I had my surgery 8/2005. I'm doing well and have lost down to 153..."ideal weight" I feel pretty good..still watch what i eat and am very active. I'm have some issues with people being so complimentary. i do feel like i look good but it is difficult to have people that haven't seen me in a while to make a huge deal about how good i look...and WOW...i know that they are being nice and genuine. i admit these are my issues and not other peoples. i'm just wondering how people get past these and if other people feel the same emotions. i'm still the same person just very lucky to be in a different body. people think that i am a different person. in some ways i may be different but it was the other person that got me here.....it is just eating at me. hope everybody is doing well. i haven't been active on the board in a long time. merry christmas! susan

I agree. I had so many people tell me stuff like I was going to blow away, I can't beleive how good you look, you look beautiful now. In the mean time I Thank them for the compliments, but I think inside, what was I that ugly or big, was I a monster....I was only 100 lbs overweight. I'm very happy with where I'm at, and I truly am blessed, but sometimes the compliments are hard to handle. I've been slack on the board too...Shame on us...You take care, Sandi

that is exactly the way i feel!! i know that i was big but i wasn't lazy and really wasn't all that unhappy...cause at the time i didn't realize quite how big i was. i'm gonna deal with it..but it is a challenge that i did not foresee thanks for the response and happy new years! susan

Hi, I hear what you are saying and I understand where you are coming from. I know people tell me they don't even recognize me and actually I don't either. I appear to be a new person and I like it. I didn't like that other person at all and lived in personal misery for many years. I know I came across as being a very depressed lump to most people. Now I am outgoing and I like myself alot better, I am feeling better so maybe a little bit of what they thought before was a mirror of what I thought of myself. So, enjoy the new you is all I am saying. Paula

i do enjoy the new me...but enjoyed the old me as well! i hated being big but didn't realize how big i was at the time..weird i know. i was always active..worked out....dressed well...but i know i look much better. thanks for your response. it nice to hear that other people go through similar situations. happy new years susan

Hi Susan... I'm a little over two years post op and I can relate to everything that you said! I also had people that made a huge deal over how I looked once I'd lost all the weight, especially those who hadn't seen me in a long time! Even though I know they mean well, it can still be a little unnerving to be the focus of so much attention!

thanks for your response. it is interesting cause even my dad this weekend said "oh i remember knowing that person many years ago." i tried to smile. i know he means well but said "dad i'm the same person now and have been for 40 years..just in a different package." i know i'm a prettier package now...i do appreciate the compliments but wish people knew that i was the same person!! oh well....people do mean well and i guess are happy for me. happy new year! susan

Hi Susan, As you know I have not had my surgery yet but In the past years I've lost many pounds. I thought it was strange to read what you wrote because I use to have those same thoughts when I had lost alot of weight on Nutri System during desert storm. I know it's weird but I really didn't like all the male attention I got. When the men would come home from war to their families and I would see them at church I felt the stares. I heard one guy say WOW is that Cathy S... wow she sure looks good. If that were my husband I would have smacked him !! People treated me different and all of sudden they wanted to be my friend. It made me feel uneasy and my worst fear was being raped. I know this sounds bad to, but I felt better when the weight started coming back because I didn't get all the attention anymore. My problem is that I gained so much now that my health is bad and that is why I want the surgery. I feel miserable all the time and I can't stand myself for gaining so much weight and I really did like myself better thin. Anyway... you do look great and your a real inspiration to me and when I think about those old thoughts I think of James 1 in the Bible where it says "Count it all as joy". Cathy S

hey chic! i know what you mean. i've never had a fear but just bums me out that people can't see through to know that i'm the same person. it is fine. i know people mean well and am trying to get past it!! i'm am trying to count it all as joy! it is just a bit disturbing but i'm sure in a year or two i'll be past it! people will forget that i was big and just be used to me for me!!! happy new year! susan