Are there any H.R. folks or hiring managers in the house? I'm in need of some advice please...

Phew, where to begin. Ok, I quit my last job, of 4 years, in May of 2004 for a couple of reasons. My favorite boss, who originally brought me there to help him, ended up leaving to persue his dream of being a professor. I worked with him at another company, we both were displaced in a merger and he landed a job elsewhere and called me in to follow him there. When he left I would have been stuck working for a schmuck, so I gave a nice long one month notice (my boss gave an even longer notice because he was a VP). I left on very good terms and did not leave anyone in a lurch at all. ALSO, I was morbidly obese and was determined this would be a good time to research WLS and other weight loss methods without the worries of a full time job getting into the way. It worked out great because I was able to jump through the hoops and get all of the tests done and even being free to do all this it took me exactly 11 months before I was getting the surgery. So then after my surgery in April, my 74 year old father had to have open heart surgery. So I was thankful to be off from work and getting myself stronger and healthier so I could go to Florida to assist him and my stepmother (who just had some complicated neck surgery) during this difficult time. THEN my 77 year old mother and her 77 yr old husband got into a bad car accident, they are in Pennsylvania. Again, I was thankful to be able to take my stronger and getting thinner self up to PA and help out. It turns out she was a big time hoarder and my sister and I had to clean out her little apartment and get her ready to move into my brothers house after her release from the hospital. Fun fun. So as you can see it's been an eventful year. Now here I am at the end of 2006 heading into 2007 and thinking I should probably head back out into the working world. I'm also dealing with some issues myself, I've become a bit of a recluse and I've always considered myself a social retard. I'm just not great at meeting and warming up to people. But I've managed to work through that in the past and I'm hoping I'll be able to do it again. Now on to my question(s). 1. How horrible is it that I've been out of work for about 1 1/2 years? 2. How much of my life should I tell? I'll tell as much as is helpful but I hate the idea of revealing all this stuff at the beginning of an interview in fear it will sound like a "poor me" story, and there is nothing I like less than discussing this. I'm shocked I'm discussing it here! Any additional advice anyone can offer to me during this new chapter of my life would be greatly appreciated!!!

hi sherry- i am not a HR person but i was a director at a smallish firm before moving to the states to marry. that being the case, my european thoughts are that you can spin your time out of employment in a positive light. you may choose to share you took this time off to care for family members who were in need of a caregiver. this may, of course, open the door for the concern of "wow... will she take another year off to do the same again?". you could possibly interject that the family members are now healthy and doing well. this brief explanation would present you in the light-- as it appears to be-- as a kind, compassionate person who has her life priorities in order. i wouldn't volunteer any information about your own medical history unless you want to open that door. i didn't see where you said what sort of work you do but you may also want to accentuate your continued competency in your field by either a well presented portfolio or agree to a skills test. i think most management people are looking for well- balanced individuals who are not just workaholics. i think it is important to explain-- briefly-- this break in employment but only if your are asked. solid employment references will also strengthen you as an asset to your new company. the best of luck to you as you venture into the business community again-- i would be very interested to hear if you experience different attitudes from people as your physicial appearance has changed. take care, alex

Thank you for your insight! I was just referring to a book called "60 seconds and you're hired" and they actually address this as well. The advice it gave was much like yours. It looks like the key will be to assure and employer that all is well now and I'm ready to work! I feel better after reading the answer in the book just now and reading yours as well. Thanks again.

Sherry, I work for a HUGE company and they do not ask any questions about what you've been doing while your out of work for a period of time. My advice is to let the interviewer lead and follow their lead, do not over talk or tell too much. At my company they use something called situational interviews, which means they want you to tell a story targeted at strenghts they are looking for. I personally wouldn't tell them anything that has gone on in your person life or what health issues you've had. It really is none of their business. I do know some people will use that information to eliminate your opportunity without directly saying so. I had a terminally ill mother and I had been with my job for 4 years, I shared this information, which was fine because I chose to. However, some people are very catty and will use this information for their advantage. Good Luck, you might want to try a temp company to get your feet wet. I know there's many women who leave their careers for motherhood and return several years later, without any hiccups. Jen

Thanks for your reply! I actually am meeting with a temp agency today and I'll also ask for their guidance on this time lapse. It seems like it should not be such a big deal, yet it will be I know. I'll try my abreviated schpeal on them and see how it goes. It always good to hear about other people that have worked through this!

They can't ask you personal questions. Just fill out the app. They can't ask weight....or anything about it. Your personal life is all yours. They can't ask...you can tell if you want to........ God bless Amy

We are hireing... I work in pineville, NC.... I don't know if that is too far of a drive from Cary though. If you are interested please feel free to email me. It is a M-F swing shift 1pm-9pm. I don't want to give away too much... open board and all... but if you'de like to email me feel free to do so.... [email protected] Kristi