I am soooooooooo....

My surgery will be on Monday at around 12, and since yesterday it ha**** me and I am soooooooo nervous, scared, happy, scared...SCARED! I know yall have went through what I am going through now, I just keep questioning myself. It's the unknown of what ifs.... And I am not normally this type of person or rather I didn't think I was.... I know I have a GREAT Doctor, I did my research. Went through all the test and have been cleared for surgery. I was lucky I was approved the first time and did not have to go through what others have gone through.... I just wish Monday would get here and the surgery be over... I've been busy at work making sure it's taken care of so I can be off, and because of that I regret not taking the time to go to a meeting in Gastonia and meet an get to know some of the people I see post on this board. I guess another reason is I haven't told anyone, we all have our reason if we tell or not..people at work when another girl had this surgery put her down and talked crap...I have mentioned it to my children in passing (they are grown) but never really said for sure. So that leaves my husband and best friend are the only ones that know. I just told my boss I had some medical issues I had to take care of. (Hey I didn't lie just didn't tell the whole truth) And maybe later I will tell if asked but right now I won't. Sooooooooo......the question is.... How did yall handle the few days before the surgery...emotionally that is.. I feel like my hormones are out of wack I just start crying out of the blue... Well anyway..... Thanks for listening, I didn't mean to make it so long.. G.

Hello G, First of all CONGRATS , and welcome to the loser side. I was so scared a few days before surgery I was a mess, I kept it all inside I showed such a brave face, I never really said I was scared , but I WAS. That morning at the hospital , before I was taken back to surgery prep, my husband started crying along with my friend Shannon, and I told them,,, don't worry I will be fine, inside I was shaking. I think being strong for them made me stronger. That said ( although not well said ) ..... we all were/are scared. For me, it was so much easier than I thought it would be, I had very little pain ( thanks IV drugs ) ,, and the hospital stay was easy. Take your own pillow , it will make you more comfortable and it will help on the ride home, also chap stick in many flavors helped me. Of course the house shoes that have gripper bottoms , I never used my housecoat or gown, the hospital issue was perfect. Dont worry , you will be fine. I did worry about being hungry all the time but I am not, I love this tool, G I want to tell everyone, how wonderful this has been for me. I feel GREAT. The first few days may be rough for you it has been for some, but trust me it does get better. Tell or NOT to tell--- I only told my close buddies at work, the ones I knew would be supportive, the others don't need to know my choice. I would suggest , keep it to yourself. Good Luck, do you have a contact here on the board to let us know how you are doing? Take Care Allison

I knew I wasn't the only one going/gone through this. What you have written is exactly what I am going through. I am putting that brave front on, I have not told anyone I am so scared. And I see people post that they are not nervous or scared it makes me feel silly to feel this way sometimes. But I know we are all different and handle things differently. I mean I am happy and excited I have been given the chance to have this surgery when there are so many that have to jump through hoops and even like you, that had to pay for it out of your pocket, and I was prepared to do just that also if I had not been approved, so I know I am doing the right thing, like I said earlier its the UNKNOWN!! Allison thank you for the advice on what to take, I will probably forget it, so I am going to sit my bag my the door.. No, I don't have a contact person on the board. I haven't seen Jamey post lately is she doing ok? G.

I have surgery on monday I am actucally feeling just fine. I got my approval letter way back in April so I already went thru most of the hysterics months ago. Once I got my surgery date for about a week or two I was very emotional and anxious... because of the long wait I just got over it - couldnt handle being that way for 2 months! My dad will be flying in on Saturday to help take care of me post-op so I am sure once he gets here and starts asking questions and wanting things explained to him I will get a little more nervous. I only told 2 co-workers of mine and my boss. Only reason I told my boss is because I am planning on going back to work the 26th and only will be working 1/2 days that week so I had to explain so I could get the ok from her Thankfully I work at a small company that has more men than women (women can be so catty!). I know mid-end of July people will start asking.. at that point I will just go ahead and tell them. I cant wait for Tuesday to get here either!! Each night I go to bed and hope I wake up in the hospital post-op. I especially cant wait for 2 weeks after surgery so I can eat some nice soft foods all these shakes are killing meeeeee!!! p.s. spurteins (sp?) protein powder thats Choco Chip Cookie Dough flavored tastes like buttered popcorn to me - it was the most disgusting thing I ever drank *gaaaag* Also, their Strawberry tastes like chalk and has lil stawberry seeds in it!

Jennifer I have been keeping up with you by your posting and I knew you were one day after me. I did go through the emotions at first when I got my date, I had to wait about a month from time I found out til surgery. I am the type of person that I can put it out of my mind cause it is not right there in front of me and don't deal with it...but now its right in my face and I am having to deal with it... I work for a multi corporation with a small corporate office. About 20-25 people and only about 5 of those are men and yes women can be so catty. I think alot of time women (or men) put people down to make themselves feel better. (My opinion) I am having the fobi surgery so I will be 2 weeks liquid then I believe its 4 weeks of pureed... Dr. B doesn't make his patients do the preop liquid (or my understanding is he doesn't, I didn't have to) but I have been doing 2 shakes a day and eating a light dinner. my order from unjury came in yesterday, just in time! Good luck Jennifer on your surgery. G.

I havent received my unjury sample but I got a sample from someplace else I cant remember off the top of my head - it makes a grape drink? Something like that. I went to Earthfare and bought a ton of samples there to try after surgery I have the 2 weeks post-op liquid as well... nobody at work has noticed. Today they did order everybody pizza thou - that was torture!!! We had a meeting during lunch so everybody was eating and listening and I was eating and sipping a coworker who is also a friend sat next to me and didnt eat pizza either so at least it wasnt just me

Hello Girls, I am so excited that both of you are so close together in having surgery. It is wonderful . G - I will email you direct with my telephone number , have the husband call me after surgery and I will post the good news. Jamie, has been busy with her work, she is doing great I hope to see her tonight. take care Allison

Thank you Allison I will. G

Hi Ladies, Congratulations on your surgeries...you're going to be soooo happy! I scanned through these and I wanted to tell you that nerves are strange. I had mine the day before and I doubted everything...and was emotional and scared. However, in the back of my mind I kept reminding myself that I did the research and knew I was doing the right thing for me....I got over that, was fine the day of, and then had another bout of doubt right before Dr. Melkonian kindly ordered the anethesiology nurse to give me something to relax...(I don't know that for a fact, but it is funny that she was pumping something in my I.V. right after I confessed to Dr. M that I was really nervous.) He's such a great doctor...You'll be fine...and you'll be so happy you did this! Now, I have to put in my two cents on the telling thing...it is such a personal decision...but I decided to tell everyone who will listen and I don't care what they say!!! I figure the only way we're ever going to change people's predisposed ideas about danger and death and the easy way out is to let people know about how wonderful the surgery is and to be living proof...I think the people who gave me strange looks in the beginning when I told everyone what I was doing have already come around and see what a wonderful procedure it has been for me...especially since I only missed four days of work, feel great, and am melting away with no bad side effects! It is something you have to make a choice about and I wish both of you the very best of luck. Jamey

Jamey, Thank you for replying to my post, and thank you for the well wishes. I am glad for you that you are doing so well. Here is a little story for you of one of the reasons I feel I don't want to tell them at work.... My boss who is the owner of the company I work for made this remark (when the other lady that had it done, which she doesn't work here anymore): I could perform that surgery, there is nothing to it and I could do it alot cheaper than what she is paying for it or what the insurance is paying for it (by the way...the insurance this job offers WILL NOT PAY for this surgery no matter what, her husbands insurance paid for it). And NO he isn't a doctor. He is a very smart man...but he showed me how ignorant to this he is. And some people you can't change and some people know everything no matter what so I am not going to waste my time explaining myself. Everyone here at work had something negative to say about the previous lady that had it done but 2 of us and uhmm we both are MO. (and the other lady can't have it done she can't afford it and her insurance from here wont pay for it..) They would watch what and how she ate, petty crap like that. I am glad I don't work on the same floor or same department as they do, I am by myself. OK don't get me wrong...I LOVE my job and I like the company I work for and I don't want to put it down but some times yanno.