Help me understand-My husband is having gastric by-pass surgery

My husband has decided to have Gastric By-Pass Surgery.  He had the Lap Band Surgery about 2 yrs ago,  He lost more weight pre surgery than he did post surgery.  He probably gained 10 out of 20 lbs back that he lost pre surgery, and hasn't lost any weight since the lap band surgery.  He claims the Lap Band didn't work for him,but he also didn't follow the guidelines suggested.  If he doesn't do what he is supposed to do (like cut his food small or chew good) he throws up (and it hurts me to here this).  I was not thrilled about the lap-band surgery, but as a wife that loves her husband, I would do anything to help him, but I can't change him!!  I  need to reach out to wives whose husband's have had this life changing surgery, especially ones who have been with their husband's at least one year post surgery.  I want to support my husband and even conform to eating what he has to eat.  We've been married over 30 yrs and I know his habits.  Please help me to understand as a spouse, what to expect.  I am a very supportive wife, but he has a mind of his  own.  PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND!!

Hello,

Sorry  you are going through this.  One thing he needs to understand is that the battle is in the mind.  If he doesn't get the support he needs, he will fail in any surgery.  He needs to develop a healthy relationship with food, gain tools to help him over come any triggers/obstacles that arise.  I suggest a Life Coach or a therapist that has knowledge in eating disorders and food addictions.  There needs to be a life style change.  He has to want to change. 

He needs more support than you can give him.  If you can find a support group for weight loss surgery patients, that would help.  I am so sorry but he has to want to change.  You can help by finding those supports and offer.  It is still his decision.  WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY IS JUST A TOOL.  THE BATTLE IS IN THE MIND.

Huuugzzzzzz

I had Lap Band surgery 4 years ago. I lost 80lbs and was very happy. I had to have a hysterectomy because of heavy menstrual bleeding that caused me to be anemic. After my hysterectomy it was struggle and I gained 40lbs back, My hematologist told me that it was probably never the lap band that helped me lose weight, I probably lost the weight because of the anemia. I saw my surgeon a few weeks ago and decided to have gastric bypass, which is what I wanted to begin with and was talked into lap band surgery. I personally am tired of the pain from the band. Pain when I eat, pain when I lay on my stomach, the vomiting and all, I want the band out of me. He did an upper GI when I saw him and said that he looked at it and the band is still in the perfect place, I have good swallow and everything is perfect, pouch hasn't stretched, but I have 9mm of saline in a 10 mm band. How can I eat so much?? Its just not working for me. Good luck to your husband with his decision to have the bypass and you are a great wife to stand beside him. I am planning on going to support groups to help me with this journey this time. Maybe that would be a good choice for your husband as well. They should really have a support group for spouses or significant others.