Drowning in my self pity (posted on main board too)

For those that know me, you know that I have been positive, upbeat and undestanding. I am having surgery tomorrow and I am having a breakdown!! All has been fine...up until now! I didn't get to bed till 2am ish. About 3:30, my dd came into our room complaining about an earache and her tummy was hurting. I said, just lay with mommy. About 4:20, she threw up all over our bed. Then about 5:30 ish, she threw up all over my carpet. Needless to say, I only got a couple hours of sleep. I had to be at the hospital at 8 am for my pre op appt. I got there at a quarter till. I was not seen until 9:45!!!!! It took what seemed like forever for them to withdraw blood. After the blood was withdrawn, I fainted at the hospital. I had had nothing to eat or drink since early yesterday evening. Fast forward to the present. I am starting the bowel prep and this has been sooooooo hard!!!!! I almost threw up 4 times!!!! Nothing came out. I am going to have to drink this stuff again at 6 and I just don't know if I can do it. I am just so tired and worn out and all I want to do is sleep, but all I will be doing today is pooping!!!! Please reming me that this is what I want to do. It is, but today is going to be so hard!!!

Erica I know you have heard the saying "it's the darkest right before dawn". Well this is your darkness, girl, with tomorrow as your dawn. This is just a moon that must go down, for the sun to rise. You could try to get a power nap in, that could work for now. How long does your Doc think you will be in the hospital? Please let us know how you are as soon as you can. I wish you all the luck in the morning & the next few weeks. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Hi Erica, I am sorry you are having such a crappy day; but hang on!!! I know that you must be extremely stressed about the surgery alone and then to have your daughter sick prob. feels like the last straw of what you can emotionally take. Get to a quiet place and concentrate . Get away and think of all the things that are soon going to be possible when you loose the weight. The surgery is the tool that is going to give you your life back. You are going to make your whole familiy's life better. YOu are going to have so much more energy and you will be able to run around and play with your daughter without having to have a nap or sit down and take a breather. You are in my prayers. I know that you can make it through this. You are right there! YOu can make it!!!! Hang on and put your faith in God!!! Jaye jaye

Erica, I wish you all the luck in the world today on your way to the losing side. My prayers are with you. Let us know how you are doing. God Speed Leann