People even less supportive?

I am finding that the people that were somewhat supportive of me having surgery are just horrified that I would even consider having surgery in Mexico. My mother-in-law keeps telling me that it is just way too dangerous and unsanitary, just like my best friend. I'm not sure if it because they are both nurses or what, but they don't believe me that the surgery is done in a hospital. My best friend (she weighs about the same as me) was telling me last night that 2 people she works with had the surgery here and both have gained all their weight back so I should just do it the old fashioned way instead of surgery. Even my PCP that has been totally supportive of surgery thinks that it is a terrible idea. I saw her on Tuesday and asked if she could do my after care with blood work and she said she can't because she is not certified in Mexico! For blood work??? She even said, "Well, I hope that they do the surgery in a hospital." I was like "Of course they do." Does everyone think that surgery is done out on the beach or something?? Why can these people not support me? My mil keeps saying only rich people go out of the country for surgery and she will not help us out financially. I have read some of the older posts where people say that they haven't told anyone at all that they are going to Mexico for surgery. At first I didn't understand why, but now I do by the reactions of the few people I have told. Dawn W.

Hi I too will be getting surgery on June 7th in Mexico. I understand what you are going through. And both of my parents are from Mexico, they came here from a very young age and just stayed here and had me. They were worried at first because face it, Mexico is not like the US. If it was we wouldn't be having all these immigration problems (I know totally off subject) anyways you have to do your research and you have to be 100% comfortable with your decision. You not your family. They don't understand and they may never understand what its like to be overweight and fighting insurance companies to help with it when after all the paperwork and effort they send you back a big fat NO! Most docters in Mexico go through the extensive training and education similiar to the docters here in the US. Many even come to the US to get their education. Many bariatric surgeons are even part of the ASBS. That stands for the American Society for Bariatric Surgery. There you would also find names of docters who perform this surgery here in the US as well as in other countries. Thats why I say do your research. As for the friend who's as big as you are, I myself am going through that now. She is always telling me that so and so had the surgery and gained it back or never lost any weight. Basically its just jealousy is what I figure. Take it one day at a time. I was always told people will react diffrently once you mention having the surgery but I never expected such a big change. Dont listen to others, listen to yourself. They aren't the ones carrying all of your weight, you are. They arent the ones that go into a store and not finding anything that fits, they dont go out to eat and worry right before sitting down whether they will get a table or booth (hoping for the table because a booth is tooo tight). Nobody knows what you are going through better than yourself. Good luck! Gabriela

i am sorry for you both that people have been so negative. you need all the positive encouragement you can get during this time. my personal thought on this is that many people are of a jealous nature (sad to say), and don't want to see us succeed, especially if they fear they will be left behind, still being overweight. i've heard these stories over and over. also, many people in the u.s. have a very distorted world view. we have so many misconceptions about other countries and some of us are closed-minded, (doctors included!!). i can only speak from my exeperience--- cornerstone hospital (where dr joya performed my surgery), was FAR nicer than any hospital i've been in here in the states. my brother went with me, (who is a nurse and pre-med student), and believe me---he wouldn't have let me go through with the surgery if things were looking suspicious there! if anyone would like me to e-mail you my own photos of the hospital, i'd be happy to. if you want to, you can show them to the nay-sayers and say "look---THIS is where i'm having surgery. not a grass hut with a witch doctor!". bottom line---you guys are taking action and taking responsibility for your health. that is always admirable! think about how many people on this message board would still be unhealthy, unhappy, and overweight if we sat around "waiting to lose weight the old fashioned way". best of luck to you!

What I told people was, what do people in Mexico do when they get sick. Just die? No, they have hospitals just like here. I tell them that the patient to nurse ratio was 1 nurse to 4-5 patients. What is it here? 10 patients to 1 nurse? I had the best care in Mexico, better than what I have heard people who had surgery here got!! You just have to ignore them and do what is best for you and what you want to do. The hospital was clean and very nice!! What do they think, people in Mexico don't ever need surgery? Yeh right!! Hispanic people get sick and need doctor care just like we do. People that have closed minds just make me upset. My family was scared for me too, but not because of the Mexico thing, the surgery itself. My fiance is hispanic so they knew that that was ok. Just keep your head up and tell these people where to go!!! Jen 275/183/150?

Okay Dawn, Here is a comeback for your MIL. Go private pay in your homestate, see then if she will be happy....and fork over about 10 K or so.....? Dr. Joya and his staff is wonderful. I am a RN and have been for over 20 yrs. You will find most people that "mouth off" are clueless. The hospitals there are modern, and let me tell you....the nursing service was top rated. Follow your heart, and do what you and your hubby thinks is best for you....and forget all the negative stuff, lots like to throw out there!! Goodluck, Sandy

I had my surgery in Mexico 2 years ago, with Dr Aguirre, my life has changed so much I am so happy now and so is my family. I had better treatment in Mexico that I had here in the states. I blame all the negative attitudes about Mexico on the media.......and uneducated people just running their mouths . Good Luck Dot

Hi Dawn! I know all too well what's happening to you. Many people act this way out of fear, others out of stupidity. Don't worry, you will not be having surgery behind a tortilla factory in an alley! That's just not the case. Some people are just so closed minded. As for the "I know someone who knew someone who's aunt died/regained all the weight back, etc" is just more fear and ignorance talking. If WLS didn't work, docs wouldn't do it. For every "failure" there's thousands of successes! As for the best friend, I have a word of caution. I lost my best friend of 11 years because of WLS. She cannot handle the fact that I'm smaller than she is now. I have always been the fat one. She could always say to herself, "I may be overweight, but I'm not as fat as Bonnie" and rationalize her own weight in her mind. I never for one minute expected my success to ruin our friendship, this woman was maid of honor at my wedding, there for me for every up and down possible! But here I am, without my best friend. One part of me is very hurt by all of her nasty coments about my weight loss, because I took the "easy way out" (her words, not mine) and the other part says SCREW YOU! LOOK AT ME IN SIZE 8 JEANS! Funny thing is I never once rubbed my weight loss in her face, in fact I down played it because I knew how upset it was making her! Anyway, I hope your success does not ahve this same side effect. And I wish you the best of luck! Bonnie lap rny 6/3/05 264/163/149

You all have been so kind to me and understand what I am going through with everyone! I am determined to have surgery and having it in Mexico doesn't bother me. It appears to me that Dr. Joya is a very good surgeon and has a good support team. I am just going to try to ignore the negative things that people are saying. I know that my MIL is worried about what will happen to me because she has gone through MANY surgeries for various reasons, and not all of them had good outcomes (all at hospitals in our state). She was even told she would never walk again, but 1 1/2 years later she could again. She is also worried about what my hubby and kids would do if I passed away because we see how hard it is on my step-dad and 2 little sisters. I do think that my friend is jealous because she can't have surgery with her insurance. I think I will only tell one other person about the surgery because she will understand since she had surgery last July and her health has greatly improved. Everytime I see her she asks if I get to have surgery yet. She is my cheerleader and has been for a couple years now. Thank you again everyone for all of your responses! Dawn

I had my surgery by Dr. JOya in NOvember and have no regrets what so ever. I dealt with the same things you are. My dad actually forbide me to do it. It was the best thing i ever have done. Hospital was great everything was great. I have lost friends since the surgery because they are all gaining weight themselves and are creating competition between us. MY best friend told me i took the easy way out and still has not even acknowledged i had surgery. I look to the people that will support me. Dont have any second thoughts about doing it in Mexico. My mom did it with me and is also having trouble with her friends. It is sad but reality. Good luck and dont listen to them. Go with your gut! if you have any questions just ask.

my sisters reason for comming with me was"i support you" (don't have to suport your descision). she was extreamly happy with my decision once we arrived . it's small clean and alot more personal than a hospital in the states!we both are going to talk at a local on medical hospitality in mexcio v/s us. it's a talk for medical students to open their eyes and hearts to assist non-english patience with as much patience as we recived in mx.you will be very happy with your decision!people do a double take when i mention i had wls...but they gasp when i say mexcio! i can't help but laugh.i have a shirt that says remade in mexcio and i wear it with the most pride!!!!!!!