insurance denied-now I must decide- HELP

I called my insurance company this morning and my surgery was officially denied yesterday. So, now I must make the big decision myself. I am so scared. My surgeon suggested the RNY, but part of me feels more comfortable being banded. Both of my parents had cancer and I like the idea of being able to remove it if I got cancer. Yet, I like sweets. UGH! I know I can't afford US surgery. Even Mexico surgery will be a huge stretch financially. Am I being selfish to use money for me when we have 4 kids who need stuff? Is this just God's way of telling me don't do it? I am so confused. Really confused!!!!!!!!!! Any advice out there would be appreciated. Kim M.

Hi Kimberly, I had a gastric bypass in Colombia with Dr. Mikler it was the best choice I ever made. He told me he also performs a surgery called sleeve gastrectomy that has the same results as a Lap band, but you dont have to worry about fillings and have a piece of plastic inside you. He work with a group of very professional and lovely people. He also help me with the financial company. I suggest you should talk to him before make a decision. his website is www.byebyeobesity.com Good Luck Angela

Hi Kim I can't give you advice on the band -v- RNY, because that is really a personal and individual decision. And I'm so sorry you insurance denied you. I had ro respond to this comment: "Am I being selfish to use money for me when we have 4 kids who need stuff?" What is more selfish? Saving money so your children can have everything physical they want in life? Or saving your own life, so they have a mom who can give them everything emotional they they NEED in life? I'd rather have my mom, then a few thousand dollars in the bank, personally. Bridget

i'm not sure about the price in mexico, but I leave tomorrow for Bogota, Columbia, there it is a little over 14,000. Compared to 38,00 I was quoted here it's not much :0) If you are interested with more details check my profile in the next week or so, I will update it with the whole experience soon.

Bridget, Thank you for your reply. I know I have to decide the band vs. RNY myself. When I went for my first consultation with the surgeon, he tried to persuade me toward RNY. However, that may be due to the fact that he had only "been in on" 12 at the time. I know I didn't feel comfortable with that. I went in initially with the band in mind, but after talking with my husband that night, he thought I should go RNY. My insurance denial was for RNY. My surgeon thought we would have a better shot at that with inusrance. I still feel better about going for the band, but uncertain. As far as selfishness, everyone tells me I am the least selfish person they know. They tell me my biggest problem has always been putting everyone and everything before myself. Consequently, here I am with a multitude of health problems and still wondering if it is selfish to try to have surgery. No wonder I need a therapist. Also, we have spent a tone of money on our kids. I know we would have to take out a loan to pay for the surgery, but we took out a loan to pay for my jusbands PhD. so why do I even worry about it. Thanks for your support and helping me to see that I need to help myself and that in turn helps my family. My heartfelt appreciation to you Bridget. Sincerely, Kim M.

Hi Kim! The band versus RNY is a very touchy subject for many on this board. I suggest you really examine your eating patterns and determine where you will have the best results. Both surgeries have people with regrets. I chose RNY because I know myself. I could have had a band, Dr. Rumbaut even suggested it at the beginning because I only had 100 pounds to lose. I knew myself much better than he did! I knew I would just trade in my big macs for vanilla milkshakes and still be fat. I was right. I had RNY and already know "how to cheat" a bit. I know how much sugar I can have before I dump! I am not a poster child for this surgery by far, but I am successful and happy. I have struggled quite a bit, but it truly has been worth it for these results! As for your kids, this is a life changing surgery for them as well. I will give you my story. When my son (now 10) was in first grade only 3 years ago, I went to school to pick him up. His friends said "Your mom is so fat!" My son had to defend me. I left in tears. I felt like such crap, and I started avoiding even more social situations! I already was avoiding personal social situations because of my weight, but never school functions, baseball games, etc. Now I was. There was things we didn't do as a family, bikeride, go camping as much. Simple things like helping my son delover his school fundraising stuff. Before surgery, I never walked around the neighborhood with him, getting orders, delivering items. This year, I put on my shoes and said, " I'll help you" My son is proud of me now. I'm a better mom now. I teach a class in his school. I dared to do it because now I feel more comfortable in my own skin. I knew standing in front of those kids wouldn't be a problem now. 100 pounds ago, the kids would have been snickering, making fat lady comments. I also would like to tell you about my health. RNY has enabled me to control my diabetes, the disease that had killed 2 grandparents and soon will take my mom and dad. I see in my parents how this disease has taken their life already, in the way of health complications, illnesses like the comon cold is more debilitating to them, my dad had several heart attacks and needed 4 bypass surgeries (cardiovascular disease is the number one complication of diabetes). I also no longer have high blood pressure or high cholesterol. I have significantly less joint and back pain and am able to physically do more each day. Are you selfi****hink you are selfish if you do NOT do something about your weight/health! If God didn't want you to do this, would you have found out about surgery in Mexico? Would you have the nerve to even check into it or consider it? God sent us to you, to help, didn't he? I had to put a big financial strain on myself (I'm the major bill payer in my house, not my husband) in order to get surgery. I know how hard it is. But investing in yourself is the best thing you can do, it will pay for itself in years of happiness, less years of illness! My surgery ($14,500) will have literally paid for itself in less than 3 years because of my insurance co-pays for meds and MD visits came to $4500 last year alone! I wish you the best of luck! Hugs Bonnie 264/164/149 100 pounds lost, 15 to go