it wasn't the fat that kept guys away

since i lost the weight i joined yahoo personals and posted a lot of beautiful pix of myself and have gotten a lot of responses. i am slowly and painfully realizing that i am not as beautiful inside as i am on the outsdie. i am so insecure and inhibited eventhough i look the way guys like... i cannot be comfortable in my skin. i am driving men away. i don't know who i am. i am crazy!!! i don't know how to act. i get all weird when i meet guys and they say how happy they are that i am not fat i want to say- well i used to be fat!!! it's all so hard. what can i do? i met a great guy last week- we spent 6 days seeing each other every day and then i started being all weird - so he said he didn't think it would work out because he didn't know who the real me was because i changed sooo much during the course of the six days... i am so hurt and confused. i thought losing the wieght and being able to date more would be a good thing. instead it makes me feel worst about myself. it feels like people are attracted to the way i look, but when they get to know me.. .they are turned off. it wasn't the fat that guys were not attracted to .. it was me

Try to look on the bright side... While you realize that some choices could be better (personality/responses) it is better to know that and be able to work on it, than never knowing your actions were pushing someone away? , yes? It gives you something to work on and improve. Won't you soon be having a tummy tuck or lower body lift.... Your new body is adjusting and so is your old personality.... give yourself a break. take care of yourself... love will come your way... and in your time.

I think you are just as beautiful inside as outside. A question or two? Were you overweight as a teenager? Did you learn how to deal with the other sex then, or are you just learning now how to deal with lots of attention? Not, did you ever date, but rather, did you have a couple of years or more getting a lot of attention from a variety of males? If not, perhaps you are going through that awkward getting to know your body teenage stuff and dealing with attention from the other sex now. Things that we normally would have learned earlier. Give yourself a break. This is new. Start to date more slowly. Get to know a variety of guys. Not so intense and all at once. Flirt more. Have fun with it. Realize it will take a while to learn how to cope with the new body and have your mind accept that body. If it continues to cause you pain, get counseling. I'd hate for the discomfort of your new body to lead you to eating unhealthily or making other choices that aren't good for you. {{{{{hugs}}}}} -Pam

I do not think it's you at all! I think this is just part of "fitting in" with this crazy society. I have had many issues with men as well, especially my husband! I find it amazing how people treat me now. People I have known for years find me smarter and funnier! It's really a joke and I know it, I was funny and very smart before! They were just ignoring me because I was fat. I'm the same person, inside at least. I understand your troubles. I just do not think its you. Part of you will always know how things would have been different if you were still fat. You will have to learn to deal with it. Too bad surgery does not fix our heads! God bless Bonnie

Hey Lovely, We have been friends for over a year now and I can personally say that you are a beautiful person inside and out. You just have so much going on for you right now and I know this seems disappointing but when it is meant to be then it will be. You have so much to be proud of don't let this set you back. As much as it hurts I would rather someone tell me that there is no chemistry or things are just not working out than to cheat and lie and make you think things are going good. This situation like many will only make you stronger and please realize, our personalities don't mix with all people. I always thought I was so bubbly and loveable until I met a girl who just really seemed to not like me. She was annoyed by me and I couldn't understand why. And after thinking about things I just realized you can't be liked by everyone all the time. It has nothing to do with you personally it's just how life goes. I love you patty cake because you have been such a friend to me and I appreciate all you have done for me and believe me some man will snatch you up soon, just give it time!!!!!! Talk to you soon, Ronda