my husband and my left over skin. :shrug:

Hi so I am going to get my gastric bypass surgery in a few months. I currently weigh 330lbs. I am about 170 pounds overweight and I am 5ft. 9in. and I am 25 years old. I also am married and I have a few questions. First how does that left over skin thing work? My docter told me becuase I am younger I shouldnt have a real problem with too much skin left over. I have looked at some pictures and now I am scared to look like what I have seen. I dont know how true that is though. So if anyone about my weight and height and even age can get a hold of me and maybe tell me what your weight loss process was like and the left over skin I would greatly appriciate it. Now for my other question I have been married 8 years. My husband is a good normal size and I have always been overweight. Although I have put on the majority of what I weigh in the past 3 years. I was wondering what kind of reaction I should expect from my husband once he see's me loosing even more weight and become smaller than what I was when I met him. I wonder if he might become insecure with the whole thing. He is a little jealuse when if comes to other men giving me too much attention but sense lately I havent had any other men look at me this is not a problem. He is a great husband and provider but I wonder what he will act like when I become very secure of myself and body. So if anyone else has dealt with this kind of situation with their husband or wife let me know how you handled it. Thanks for your responses. Gabriela

Your body will change a lot. No matter what your age, skin can only shrink back so much! First you need to realize that you'll never look like a supermodel! Then determine what is acceptable to you. I've lost 100 pounds now and am only 15 pounds from a normal weight. Although I do need a tummy tuck because of excess skin/fat on my tummy, my "bat wings" as my hubby calls them bother me the most along with my breasts. I went from a full C to a full A! That is what I will be getting plastic surgery on. You can hide a little tummy in pants, but how do you wear your tank top with big flappy arms? Thankfully mine aren't bad at all compared to what I've seen, but I want them fixed. As for the husband issue, it's very hard. My husband is so insecue, he didn't want me to have the surgery! He did tell me he was afraid I'd lose weight and leave him! It didn't help that all his friends and coworkers said the same thing! He's very overweight too. I am very glad I went to counseling before surgery, it has been very helpful for many issues, my food addiction, the view I have of myself, my marriage and other relationships. This surgery does not fix your head, but a counselor can help fix it. Good luck! Bonnie lap rny 6/3/05 264/164/150

Hi Gabriela, I am 25 years old myself (will be 26 this april) and I know what you mean about the skin problem. I just had my surgery in January and have lost about 33-35 lbs, depending on which scale I get on. I have had a bit of a plateau and have been struggling a bit, but all in all the scale is moving down so this is a good week for me. I have lost 55lbs before and I didn't have much of any flab but this time around I think it will be different. I am African American so I was told that we have more elastic skin so I should flab much, plus the fact that I am young and never had any children. However, I am losing weight different than the first time and I think that I am a little more flabby than I was when I lost weight the first time around. I am not for sure if it's because I am not working out as much as I did the first time around or if it's the lack of protein and nutrition. I do remember that the more lean meat you eat the better your body will look. Also, I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and the majority of the weight I have gained while being with him. I think he has already shown some insecurity regarding my weightloss. A bit more jealous. I think that upsets me more because he didn't think I could get anyone while I was bigger and I actually had more men hitting on me then than now. But you only live once and a lot of marriages do end after women get this surgery. You learn that you don't have to put up with things and that you have more options. Just make sure you reasure your husband that you love him and things will be fine. Please let me know if you have any questions about ensenanda (I had my surgery there with dr. aguirre) or anything else. Good Luck Ronda

Gabriela, I'm 23 and 5'7". Not that it matters. Everyone's skin is different and will react differently to wls. But I'm guessing 9 out of 10 people are going to have some major skin left over and need plastic surgery. This also depends on how big you were before surgery. You have to go into this surgery knowing that you're not going to lose the weight and be magically skinny and beautiful. I was 432 lbs., I'm now down 140 lbs, and I have saggy skin like you wouldn't believe! I know that I'm a future plastic surgery patient. There's no way that my skin, as young as it is, is going to spring back! No way in hell! It's going to take plastic surgery and lots of trips to the gym to get my skin looking "normal." My husband has been my most amazing supporter. He HONESTLY just wants to see me happy. He knows that as more and more pounds come off, that guys are probably going to be looking at me, but he's secure in our relationship and knows that it's something to be....... "proud" of, if you will...... He knows that he's going home with me and that I'm there beside him in bed because I tell him and show him that. You HAVE TO, HAVE TO, HAVE TO let a guy know how much they mean to you and how much you love them and appreciate them. The same way we need a guy to tell us the same thing. They won't admit it, but they need that validation and that security as much as we do, if not more so. Good luck with your surgery! Cheers! Lorraine

oops! I lied! I'm 5'8"!

my husband is a bit odd to say the least! he thinks "squishy" is a compliment. he has no issues with excess skin.he's so strange. he's eating this whole experience up he's so happy for me you would think he had the wls! not intimidated by pigmee tits either!strange! i wonder if he will let me get the extra skin removed!!!!!!! just kidding he say's we will do what it takes to make me feel as good as i look. damn i still can't thats you in that pic.ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh i went to church for the first time in a long time with my mom. she is probably 230 down from 300lbs i am 195 down from 240. every one complimented on her wt. loss! i was crushed. then my husband pointed out that everyone thought i was my skinner twin! what a hoot! sorry so long winded. can't wait to see more pics of you! vicki g

Excess skin - everybody is different. It depends on having kids, how long you've carried the excess weight, your skin, how much time it has been. Once the weight is gone, you skin will likely continue to firm up. So, you are encouraged to not have plastic surgery until after you've been at your new stable weight for six months or so. I may not wait that long. I'm 52 and my floppy skin and droopy boobs is starting to bother me. I have another 60 pounds to lose, but then I'll have the surgery. Husbands - the relationship can change. You are right to be concerned. I suggest planning on counseling once you see changes in your relationship. You can both do it together, or you can go alone. You will likely not need it, but if you plan on it, you won't be disappointed or surprised when if you do decide on it. Relationships do change as a result of the weight loss. Friends can become jealous, though most wish the best for you. The marital relationship changes, and sometimes not for the better. For example, if you look sexier, and you feel sexier, will you want more sex? Will he? However, in a loving relationship - you will usually work your way through it and come out great in the end. In fragile relationship, this may put it over the edge. So far my husband has been very proud and supportive of my weight loss. He has always been supportive of me. I'm lucky that way. I suggest posting in the main message forum for a wider response (more readers and responders) than the South of the Border forum. Love, and take care. -Pam