Help with the nerves

Hi you all, I hope everyone is doing well. Today I am officially 60 days away. Today has not been such a great day. Lastnight I spoke with my mom for about an hour concerning how nervous I was getting about the surgery. She tried to comfort me to tell me that everything will be okay but the more arrangements I make and the closer I get, the more nervous I become. Today as I was reading some profiles about Dr.A, I came across 3 horrible reviews. One was from someone named Anonymous Anonymous and a few more from Rochelle Potter and Sandi M! They had such horrific stories that it made me nervous. My hands are now cold and clammy and my stomach is hurting. I called G W but she was on her way out with a friend. I didn't want to scare her, but surprisingly enough she asked me was everything okay, almost as though she could sense something was wrong. I told her no so that she wouldn't worry about me while going out with her friend. I called Patty my surgery buddy and I think she could sense something was wrong as well. I didn't want her to worry about me though because she has been so excited about our date being only months away. But to tell you the truth the closer I get the less excited I become and the more nervous I get. Is this normal? I am not going to back out, I just want to hear a voice to tell me I will be okay. I know that no one can guarantee me success but I just need a few words of encouragement to let me know that things will turn out for the best. I hate to bring down the mood but I can't stop focusing in on the negative and worrying about the "what if's" Ronda

Hi Rhonda, Just wanted to tell you that you are "normal". This is a Life decision you are making having this surgery. And to be honest with you a serious one. But you could walk out your door today and get hit by a car and never recover. It is important that you read the good and the bad profiles that we have..None of us respond the same from the surgery..Some people just jump right up after surgery and say "what a glorious day" and others take a week or two to feel that way.But I think that for the most part we all feel that we made the right choice having this surgery. You will no doubt go through a lot of other emotions before your surgery date gets here. Sometimes I think it would be better to make that decision and get right in asap to get it done.. The waiting is the killer.. Drives you insane... Having the good support system in place will help a lot.. Good Luck.. Hang in there... GerrAnn

Hi Ronda That could have been me writing that letter 60 days prior to my surgery! I have a strong faith so I just put it in the Lord's hands. As soon as I did that I felt complete calmness. The day of surgery I was very calm, more interested in what was happening than frightened. As far as the negative feedback, well, there are going to be those who have bad experiences. I just kept weighing that against all of the wonderful testimonials. I also sent off a couple e-mails to his past patients and asked for their opinions. I had a couple little issues with my surgery, but I only concentrate on how well everything went. My IV became displaced and my arm swelled up and I got a nasty infection on my "girl parts". But both could of happened in the US, too. But, I now feel great and I am down 72 pounds and wear a size 14. I love getting dressed in the morning! Let go, let God, Ronda! Have a blessed day. Kathleen

Ronda I went through the same thing prior to surgery, and then when I was experiencing the after-effects of the epidural mistake, I questioned it even more. WHY, WHY, WHY did I put myself through this? But something that might put your mind at ease a little bit...in the U.S. the mortality rate for WLS is 1 in 200...that is pretty high in my book. But from what I understand, Dr. A hasn't lost a patient in over 12 years and that was due to an extremely dangerous medical situation (talk to Tami C. about it...I believe she has the info). Marty gave us a scare in February, but there is an ICU unit right next door to the patient rooms and it is a Cardio Hospital so there are more than adequately skilled people there to help you. Also, remember that Dr. Aguirre ONLY does this type of surgery...so for the past how many years, he has been doing 3-4 of these per week (the rest of the time he golfs!) He and his staff know what they are doing and they know how to handle complications should they arise. I keep telling people this...my best advice is to learn some Spanish (if you don't already speak it). That way if there are complications or 'situations' you can better understand them. When my epidural went wrong, I kept hearing 'Don't Worry, Don't Worry, Don't Worry!" Yes, well that's easy for them to say, but I didn't realize at the time that I couldn't be paralyzed. Just that simple answer would have made my life a lot less stressful. If you're like me, you'll spend the next 2 months pouring yourself into WLS stories and talking to people through email. Maybe get one of those Spanish CD-ROM's and try to learn some medical terms every night. That's the one thing I wish I could have done prior to surgery that would have made me feel safer. But just like the gals said above...this is all very normal. Also, there are some people online who also are not accountable for their own situations and like to blame bad things on the surgery or Dr. A. One gal even tried to blame the surgery for her feeling more attractive...which led to adultery and a divorce. That doesn't have anything to do with the fact that she came out of surgery healthy! It's good to hear the bad because it reminds us all that this isn't 'going to get our teeth cleaned'. This is a very complex surgery. But trust in Dr. A. He is very skilled and will take very good care of you. Lisa

Ronda Just a footnote. I am not referring to the Rochelle or Sandi when I was talking about the accountability issue. Their stories also scared me prior to surgery...especially Sandi's. It just made me remember that there are some people who will have more difficult experiences with this than others. If everyone would have said how perfect their situation was, I would have felt like I was being snowed...so I appreciated hearing their stories. But just keep a positive attitude and trust that you will be FINE and everything will turn out ok.

Hi Ronda, I highly recommend you learn some spanish, I was very nervouse as well and emailed Gerrann several times so I could calm my fears, it is a very big surgery and you will have culture shock. I had major culture shock and wished so badly that I could have understood just a little of what people where saying. Dr. A and Rosella took such good care of me. I had a few Complications when I got home. My tube was plugged and I didn't realize it. I was glad to see that thing out. things happen just like here in the states. I am fine now and have lost 33 pounds. Go shopping and buy yourself a cute skinny outfit and look at it all the time, it helped me. Go out to lunch and Dinner with friends and enjoy. Have a little fun and look forward to it. I walked in your shoes to dear and was very scared. When you get to the hospital that morning they immediatley hook up your IV and they give you something to calm down and relax and I was glad to see that and then it goes so fast, I done before I knew I had started. They realize you are nervouse and they calm you down. Good luck, I am doing great, you will too. Candice

Oh Ronda! I wish you would have told me you needed to talk! I'm a bad angel! Bad, bad angel! On the upside, you are perfectly normal! All of us had some periods of nerves or worrying. Mine didn't really hit until I was on my way to the hospital! Yeah, I've always been a little on the slow side! I truly was more scared on NOT having the surgery. I guess alot of how you feel will depend on what kind of health you are in now. Like me, I had scores of co-morbidities and was on 12 medicines. I could only see it getting worse until I died a very early, miserable death. If you don't have any comorbidities now, you are probably going through more than what people like me did. You may be thinking, 'I feel perfectly fine! Why am I going to do all of this and ASK for pain?!" That is something that only you can answer for yourself. If you continue to gain, what is in your future? Does heart disease or diabetes run in your family? I did this as a tool to get where I need to be: healthy! You may be doing it as a preventative so you won't get where I am. Trust in God and put it ALL in His hands and then LEAVE it there. Don't try and take it back from Him. God is in control. Plus you have tonz of friends here praying for you. By the way, I emailed Rosella and told her that I would be calling her to check on you and Patty. I also told her to take very good care of you guys! She assured me you would be in good hands! Genie

Hi Ronda! I know what you are going through....oh boy do I know! I have never been so on edge or emotional in my life as I have been the past couple of weeks. And it is getting worse as my date draws near, but I am keeping my head so far! Let's just say I am spending alot of time on my hobbies right now, to keep my mind off of everything. And my husband doesn't even want to talk about it. All he will say to me is that he won't be happy till I am at home and the whole thing is done. My salvation is in this very forum. You are all my rock and foundation! With out the support I have recieved here, and from talking with Amanda on the phone and meeting her, I would have chucked the whole idea a long time ago! Even knowing that you have the same fears as me makes me feel better, knowing that I am normal in a way....you know? Enough babble from me!! We will be fine!!!! I refuse to believe any other way! Drop me an email if you wanna talk hun! Love and hope to you! Tera

Hi Ronda I am just in the researching stages and I have made up my mind that this is what I will be doing once I have the money saved up.. I actually read the memorials a few days ago.. I dont know why I did that because I scared myself so bad.. I know that there is always the chance that something could go wrong.. but I always try to think about the positive about everything.. I guess I havent come across the names you mentioned because so far I hadnt seen anyone mention anything other than great results or positive info on Dr A. I dont think there is anything wrong with someone not being satisfied and having regrets or doubts.. Everyone is different and thats what makes us unique.. As on the memorial page I noticed that quite a few had other health concerns.. who is to say that isnt why that person had problems.. although this is major surgery and its very serious.. but what made me make up my mind is that I know that if I dont do something to improve my health my future isnt looking good.. right now besides being obese.. I have shortness of breath, back pain, leg pain, knee pain, joint pain.. I dont currently have diabetes, high blood pressure, heart concerns, high cholesterol, etc... but my mom, dad, grandmom, brother and sister do.. and I know that the path I am on if I dont do something about this than that is what I have to look forward to.. I would rather have wls and have a bright future.. The one thing I have noticed since I found this site is that everyone is so supportive of one another.. Your concerns and nervousness is normal.. I am sure I will have the same doubts as it gets closer to my turn..

hey sweetie, you know i'll be there with you. i will be there the very night you have your surgery. i will be with you every step of the way. you and i are in the same boat and we will get through this together. i am feeling a lot of the same things you're feeling. i just try to focus on the fact that this is the best thing for me to live a healthier life. we all love you here and like genie says; we are all in this together- to support each other and help each through this. hang in there, i love you girl. patty