:-( Ashamed / Embarassed

I have told several people about my upcoming surgery & have received a lot of negative feedback. Like, you shouldn't go to a foreign country, you have a kid to think about and other stuff like that. My husband is the only person that is supportive & he was very hesitant at first. I stopped telling people because I started to feel ashamed and embarassed. So, my excitement about the surgery has really fizzled out. I feel like I am doing something wrong. I know that I need to do this for my health, but I don't know how to get out of this funk. I still need to make my lists, go shopping, and start getting things ready but I just don't have the energy. It feels like 10 days is a year from now. I am also starting to wonder if I will fail. I know this is probably just me being an emotional wreck because this is such a big event in my life. Did anyone else go through this? I wonder if I need to go get medication for depression. My family is avoiding me because they are upset with me about my decision and that really hurts. I was so excited & was on cloud 9....why couldn't people just leave me alone!

Dear Kris All of us have gone through some kind of emotional termoil.I was climbing the walls and soooo anxious... You need to surround yourself with positive people and get back on that cloud 9 of yours!!! Only you can decide if you made the right decision or not.. Give that hubby of your a big hug for standing by you and supporting your decision..Go shopping and get that bag packed!!! GerrAnn

Kris, I totally agree with GerrAnn! If people won't support you, then don't give them the opportunity to slam you! Just don't tell them anything. Your husband supports you, and that is all that matters! Make sure you tell him how wonderful he is and how much you love him! If you needed a heart bypass, wouldn't you do anything you could to get it so you would be around for your husband and son???? Shame on those people who are passing judgement on you and making you doubt yourself! Concentrate on your family, improving your health, and LIVING not just breathing!!! We are there for you! You are in our prayers!!! Genie

I didn't tell anyone about my surgery, and most including my co-workers still don't know. Tell all of the negative people that "you are having your surgery done by one of the best bariatric surgeons in the world" I know for a fact that the care at the Cardiomed is outstanding too. You have nothing for fear and all to gain. I feel after losing -95 that I have my life back and I feel like a million bucks. Dot

kris...i have told everyone about my upcoming surgery. they ask, i tell. i've done my homework and no off-the-cuff opinion by anybody can change that. it would be unnatural to not second guess this decison at some point in the process. this is a big deal but i can say with complete cetainty that i have looked into it and for me it makes sense. i may get an occassional case of the nerves but i am comfortable with my decision and my choices. if i thought there was a realistic alternative that i haven't tried, i might. there's not so this is it. life-saving surgery with a competent surgeon at an affordable price. i used to feel like i shouldn't have to resort to surgery in a foreign country if only the friggin' health insurance did what it is supposed to do. i've come to believe things are just as they should be. good luck kris.

OK Kris, here's the deal.......we are going to go have surgery and take control of our lives. Forget the negatives. Just don't discuss the surgery with anyone else. The negatives will be so positive when you start dropping the pounds! Go have a great time with your husband and child. THIS IS YOUR LIFE AND YOUR FAMILY!! ENJOY!!!!! I will be there Monday 2-21. I will check on you and if you need me to, I'll dance and sing for you----but, I do think that will make the embarrassment worse!!!!!! Good luck! When you need more encouragement, just get back on the Board----we'll be here for you!

I completely agree with everyone here, it is your life and your decision. I am so excited no one could bring me down. My son says I am gonna be an even sexier mama, But he does like me like I am, a soft pillow, leave it to a kid to say the perfect thing. Bye the way you have all of us, what more do you need, and we will meet up someday, everyone will. Everyone here loves ya , and you are gonna do good. Candice

I posted back last week sometime that I've been getting lots of negative feedback when people hear that I'm going to have surgery in Mexico. I also get lots of negative feedback when people hear that I'm having gastric bypass surgery. I've even had some people go as far as to say "do you want to die?" That made me feel bad, but I have stopped telling people outside of my immediate family and friends who are behind me 150% The family/friends who are supporting me in this is all that I need& this group of people on this site. I feel good about my decision and confident that I am doing the right thing and SO ARE YOU!!! Don't let those people turn this momentous step into your life negative. This is a good thing for you and if they don't see it, well that's their loss. Don't feel bad or ashamed at how you are feeling. Some people just have to say what they believe whether it's right or wrong and whether they have all the information or not. And whether it hurts or makes someone feel bad or not. We here are behind you and we will support you. Take care. Try not to let those negative comments bring you down anymore. Take care. Melissa

I really have to rush off to work, but I had to throw this quick one in. When people ask you "Do you want to die?" tell them "NO. That is why I am GOING to Mexico to have this surgery." People are concerned out of ignorance. They haven't spent the time talking to others who have gone before you and haven't researched it like you have. You can't change their ignorance until you come back and thrive..... Dina

Thanks Dina, I have said that when I had a few people ask me "do you want to die." I agree with all that you said. I can't wait until my surgery is done and I'm on the losing side. It will be nice to show all those ignorant people that they are totally Wrong... Thanks for all that you've said. Take care. Melissa