My cousin is being very negative about me having the surg.

My cousin is maried to a surgeon and he keeps telling her to tell me not to go thru - I get very upset- because so far my parents and ny DH they are OK with it -in fact my DH is helping me come up with the $. This is so upsetting, I will go thru with it - Its all that matter, I know she means well but who knows what he is telling her.

Belkys, Tell your cousin's husband that if he is really THAT concerned about you, that he should help you research surgeons. Invite him to review the CVs of some of the Mexican docs or ask him to contact Inamed if he wants information about a particular doctor. However, if he is only interested in perpetuating fear and prejudices, then he needs to shut up and allow you to make your own decisions. Stick to your guns! Marcie P.S. Tell him if he REALLY wants to help you, he'll help you find local post-op care!

I will go thru with it, I need this surgery. I will not let anyone put me down.

Belkys - Don't let anyone get into your mind about your surgery! This is not their decision. It is yours. If you have done your homework you have already researched procedures, surgeons, outcomes, and what to expect post-op. If you have tried every means to lose weight and can't, if when you do lose a few pounds, you always gain more back, if you have reached the end of the rope with your weight, then it is not their place to try to dissuade you. Only when they have walked in your shoes should you allow them to influence your decision. I honestly don't believe that there are very many people who actually have this surgery who don't need it. I know that I had reached a point in my life where I KNEW that my life would be shorter without the surgery and my quality of life was on a downward spiral. If you are there, I think you have every right to tell them that while you appreciate their concern, this is your decision and it has already been made. If they persist, you can tell them that you feel you are a relatively intelligent person and ask them what is about you that makes them think that they know better how your life should be lived than you do. Maybe that will hush them up! Charlotte Dr. Aguirre - Ensenada -64#

Thank you, Charlotte your words are so helpful, thats why here on this forum - we help each other to lift us up when stuff like this happens. I'm lucky to have found this site. Belkys

You know I go through this all the time at school. Teachers are always telling kids what not to do. do they ever tell them what they should be doing instead? Maybe they don't know. So, what the heck did I say that for? Well, it seems that everyone's first apporach is to say something negative? Ever had anyone say, "I liked your hair better the other way." after you just paid a fortune for a new do? It's the same deal. Is your cousins husband a bariatric surgeon? Bet not? When people don't know about something they dis it. Keep your date and do for you!

Canela you are so right. Thank you, Belkys

I'd let them know that I appreciate the fact that they obviously care, but that your mind is made up and that you're trying to approach this surgery as a positive life change. You've considered their advice but decided to go through with it. It would be lovely if they could find it in their hearts to support your decision, but if they can't bring themselves to do that perhaps it's best to leave the topic off limits.

Dianna, I definitely have made my mind up. I will go trhu. I need this surgery so bad. Thank you, Belkys

I wonder if he is more concerned about you going to Mexico or having the surgery? I would have a quick and snappy response either way. "I'm going to have it done. If you really don't want me to go, then do it yourself!" Dina