Changing my mind

I am schedules to be sleeved with Dr. Lopez in Puerto Vallarta on May 16th, but I am having second thoughts. I have been trying to get my BMI down so I don't have to pay an extra $1,000. I have been keeping a food diary and counting every calorie that goes into my mouth. I have also been doing 1 hour to 1.5 hours of cardio a day for the past 2 weeks. I am beginning to think that I can do this on my own. I have lost 7 pounds in 2 weeks. I am so confused.

First off congratulations on your personal success, it's awesome that you are doing these things. As far as your confusion over the surgery aspect, that's understandable because honestly even with surgery you would be doing the same thing to continue the weight loss. The only person that can decide if surgery is right for you, is you. For me personally, I have gain and lost tons of weight many times in my life, so when I was considering surgery my decision can from and very honest evaluation of myself. I knew that losing the weight was really the issues. For the it was a matter of maintaining that weight loss. I tend to go through those spells where I do really great, lose the weight, but then I stop working at it and eventually gain it right back. I also have problems with using food for comfort, which mentally is a battle, and I knew that I needed help. I didn't choose the surgery for is weight loss success alone. I chose the surgery based on the personal factors in my life. I knew that constantly gaining and losing weight over and over again is not safe for my health, and that if I wanted to stop that roller coaster, I was going to need the help that surgery offered. What I would suggest to help clear your confusion is just to asses your personal weight loss history. I don't know if you are one that has just struggled with weight you whole life, or if this is just a recent experience for you. Just be honest with yourself, if you think that you can do this on you own fantastic...I greatly admire people that have the dedication and ability to do it on there own and maintain it. If it is something that you may not be able to keep up with, then certainly surgery might be right for you. Worst case you opt to try it on your own, and whether you succeed for the rest of your life, or for a shorter period of time, you have a good chance that the option for surgery can always be there barring some unforeseen cir****tance. Whatever you decide, I wish you the very best!

I have gained and lost. I have been overweight my entire life. I weighed 110 lbs in kindergarten. I have done weight w**tchers, Nut** System, calorie counting, all the fad diets, low carb, and no carbs. I lost weight with all of them, but I have not been successful in keeping it off. Eight years ago I was down to 180 lbs and I enjoyed running. That lasted for a year. I have never committed to exercising everyday the way I have been. I feel great. I have so much more energy. I am burning about 700-800 calories a day at the gym and eating 1500 calories a day. I guess the question I need to ask is not if I can do it, but if I can maintain it. I know I can lose weight I have done it in the past and been very successful, but I have never been able to maintain it. 

I went to a women's day at my cousin's house this weekend and had no control over the amount of food I ate, even though I had been mentally preparing for it all week. I made sure to take a fruit and veggie tray, but I ate everything else. What is wrong with me? It's like I have no self control when it comes to food.

On top of everything else... my sister was supposed to accompany me on this trip and now she may not be able to come. Her ticket is nonrefundable and nontransferable. They will let me cancel it but the credit goes to her even though I paid for it on my credit card. I asked if she could use the credit to purchase a ticket for someone else and they said no, it has to be used and issued in her name only. I am just feeling so discouraged, so what do I do... reach for a candy bar. Uggggghh.

I know your feelings all to well, my dedication to weight loss has always been a back and forth sort of thing, and my eating habits are similar to yours, I do really great for a long time and then something happens, or I am in a cir****tance where the good food choices either aren't there, or I don't choose them. Even with the sleeve, I still have days where I fail on my eating choices...that being said, that is the very reason that I am so glad I got the surgery. We all have days where we fall off the wagon, but the sleeve is really great at not letting us fall too far. I am over 1 and a half years out from having the sleeve and I STILL have the mental struggle with food...it takes a lot to get over the mental aspect. The one thing that I really liked about my experience of being sleeved in MX, I had surgery with the Santa Fe Medical Group, was that they have an excellent pre-op and post-op support system...which was really important for me personally. They have a wonderful lady, that solely works with the post op patients. What I really like about her is she also had the sleeve done with Santa Fe, so when she works with people, she knows exactly what they are going through in all aspects...I still call this woman when I find myself starting to slip, and she works to help me get things back on track. As far as your sister not going with you...I SO feel you on that one too. At the time of my surgery I had never been out of the country...let alone to have surgery in another country...I was a little freaked out about it, my only comfort was that my fiance was going with me. Then low and behold 1 week before my surgery we found out that his passport got held up, and wouldn't be in in time to make it to Mexico with me. My doubts about my decision skyrocketed, needless to say lol. Discouraged...absolutely! I almost postponed my surgery. I spent the next few days praying for an answer on what I should do, and I kid you not I got one. My mom called to tell me that she had fell at work, and after a visit to a few doctors was told that she needed surgery on her knee. The doctors told her that they could repair some of the damage, but part of her troubles were coming from degeneration, and arthritis...caused by her weight. I come from generations of obesity...the odd thing in every one of my family members is that they didn't start out that way...my mom was a size 0 her whole life until she had my brother and I. I started thinking about things, and just came to the conclusion, that I have had generations of family members to learn from. They all have weight related illnesses, and I really felt that if I didn't make the leap that would be my future as well. Looking back, this surgery has been the best decision that I have ever made for myself...it is still up to me to eat right and exercise, but feeling like I have control over how much I can eat now, really helps to encourage me to keep on making the right choices. Things can be discouraging and chaotic at first, but don't let that deter you from doing what you feel is best for you, whether it be surgery or not. If the extra 1000 for your BMI is one of the hang ups, you might do some more research, there are a number of great doctors in MX that do not charge as much, or anything extra at all for higher BMIs. Good luck on whatever you decide dear.

Thank you for your post. That is what all I really want is to be healthy. My grandma died at 53 and my mom at 52. They were both very large women and the both passed from breast cancer with mets to the bone. I don't want to die in my 50's. I was diagnosed with PCOS and my GYN wants to put me on birth control, but I keep refusing because my mom's cancer was estrogen and progesterone receptor positive. I told her I don't want to take any hormones that I am already at a high enough risk for breast cancer, and I am not increasing my chances by pumping extra hormones in my body. She told me my biggest risk factor right now is my weight. I am a nurse and I now that my weight significantly increases my chances for any type of cancer, especially breast cancer with my family history. 

My mom's best friend had gastric bypass not long before my mom passed away. I remember my mom telling me how she wished that she had the money to have WLS. Here I am. So blessed that I am able to pay cash for my surgery and I am scared that I am not going to be able to eat a hamburger, fries, ice cream, pizza... all the trash that I have been putting in my body. What is wrong with me? 

I have been doing good these past few weeks. I have lost 12 lbs as of today. I like the fact that i can eat a ton of garbage if I want and then work it off at the gym. I feel like that is my right to chose how much and of what I want to put in my body and to think that I won't be able to do that scares the hell out of me.

I have 3 children and my two girl's are following in my footsteps. They are both overweight. I don't want that for them. I don't want it for myself. I think I know what I need to do. Everyone keeps telling me no. I think it is confusing me. I was so certain that I had made the right choice. Then my cousin (who is like my sister couldn't get her vacation approved to come with me), then my sister said she would come (and now she can't), my boyfriend keeps telling me that I can do it on my own, my 17 year old daughter is telling me that she has a bad feeling about this and that she feels like I am going to die if I have the surgery, my sister is telling me that I can do it on my own... look at her she lost 120 lbs all by herself, my cousin (the one who is like my sister) told me that maybe this isn't such a good idea since nothing seems to be going right in my life right now. Then I was in Wal-Mart one night after the gym looking for my protein bars that they never have in stock, and this lady is standing in the aisle and asks me if the bars are any good. We started talking and she ended up telling me that she is a personal trainer and she does Reiki. I then told her that I was going to have WLS and she told me I don't need that. To come to one of her clinics and she can help me lose weight and heal me. I know to some this might sound crazy, but I believe in Reiki. We see it used in patients in all the time. 

I am just so scared of that initial post-op phase.  I am having the surgery in Mexico... I feel like I am not going to have the post-op support that I need. I hear everyone talk about their evals prior to surgery and I am not having any. I feel kind of cheated. It is mostly the first few months after surgery that scare the crap out of me. I am so scared to be hungry and not be able to eat. I am so afraid that I will not be able to get enough fluid in or that I will have terrible reflux. Why am I so scared? Did any of you feel this way? Was it as bad as you thought it would be? 

I am not going to lie to you, I have heard both really great stories and really bad ones. My experience was really wonderful, but with any surgery there is the risk of complications regardless of how accomplished the surgeon is. As far as your fear, YES, I had everyone single one of those and more. With me, I am one of those must know everything kind of people...good, bad, ugly, I don't care, I need to know it...its a great thing when making educated decisions, but also fuels any fear you might have. I work in the technology and marketing industry, so when I researched going to Mexico, I was at a huge advantage sifting through all of the internet marketing and misinformation that is presented, that your average wls patient. Most people I see on these forums don't have that particular skill set, and a quick to see a shiny banner ad, or tons of success stories and make the decision to have surgery with next to no real research being done. I admire people like you who listen and analyze your fears and doubts...it tends to make for a better decision, and acceptance of that decision what ever it may be.

That being said, I am going to be real honest with you on somethings, that most probably wouldn't admit to. I love to eat...I have always loved to eat, and that has not changed since having surgery. My surgery was Oct. 5th 2012, and to this day I STILL struggle with my eating choices. I have the same entitlement issues as you, I do feel I should be able to eat what I want...even though I know it is not good for me...that has not changed. Now, I was so eager to have this surgery the fear of not being able to eat what I wanted was really something that did not phase me when making the decision at all...in fact it was one thing I had hoped the surgery would do for me, because I just can't do it on my own.

I think you have some misconceptions about surgery though...I think we all have them pre-op and during our research phase, so that is normal. I vividly remember how scared I was on the day of surgery, but like the lady mentioned above it is very much like being on a high dive and just taking the leap. I also remember waking up, and immediately thinking to myself...why the hell was I so terrified of THAT...surgery for my was a breeze...nothing like I thought it would be at all. 

Now, with the post op phase, there will be adjustment, you won't immediately be able to get all your protein in, you will get full on next to no food, and if you over it it will be uncomfortably you will likely throw up...and you will at one point in time or another over eat...its just part of the learning curve of getting you mind to catch up with your new stomach. Initially, you really won't be hungry...not like you feel hungry now...if you are like me, most of the time what I though was hunger was not hunger at all...it was my fat kid mentality and boredom eating. Hunger after surgery is not the same as what you experience before surgery.

As for the reflux...yes, it can happen, but most of the time it will be due to you over eating with your sleeve. Trust me, I have suffered from extreme gastrointestional issues my whole life...if anyone should have had terrible reflux from this surgery it would have been me. Since I was  a child I have been hospitalized numerous times due to a combination of Acid Reflus, Gerd, Gastritis and occasionally H-pylori. I have had numerous endoscopes, specialist visits, extended hospital stays, prescriptions, and even a stent where they hooked a computer to my stomach, through my nose, and I had to wear it 24 hours a day for several days to measure the overproduction of acidity in my stomach...it was miserable. Needless to say, I was very concerned about my issues becoming worse with surgery. Because of my issues my surgeon used a large bougie, which resulted in a larger sleeve. Initially I had some troubles with acid because my stomach was swollen from surgery. No a big deal for me I have been taking 80mg of Nexium daily for acid issues since it hit the market. But to my surprise, this surgery actually cured my stomach issues. I no longer take any prescription meds. Every now and again if I over eat, I get heartburn, but it can be managed by tums or over the counter acid meds. Weight loss be damned, the correction of my acid issues was worth having surgery in itself in my opinion.

As for your worry about failing...I also happen to be the person that had no right way so ever to succeed as much as I have. 2 weeks after surgery I needed to relocate to Las Vegas for my company. I paid no attention to my diet, did zero exercise, and pretty much broke every rule the surgeon had set out for me...as I mentioned before, dedication is not my thing. I STILL LOST WEIGHT...I am not kidding when I say that my life is hectic because of the work I do. I don't sleep right, I don't eat right...I had about 2 months where I decided that it was ok to drink around 3 Venti Caramel Machiottos from Starbucks a day, on top of going out to the casinos to gamble, and drinking bud light beer for 3 hours or so  straight a few times a week. When I did that, I didn't lose any weight, but I never gained any weight I had lost back either...which to me is a miracle. My point in saying this is that everyone has the fear they will fail...most of us fall off the wagon at one point or another, but what I learned to appreciate about my sleeve, is that even though I fall off the wagon, and when I fall off I tend to do it with style in the most extreme measures possible, the sleeve will only let me fall so far. Now you there will come a point after the sleeve that you will stop losing if you don't put any effort into it...its just a fact, but one thing that really helps me is that after having the sleeve I notice I am naturally more aware of my choices, and when I start to see that failure, I become naturally motivated to get back on track. That to me, is the biggest benefit I have gotten from this surgery...its not something that I really had before.

As for your concern for never being to eat the things that you want to again...while it is true that some patients develop intolerance to certain foods, I have not developed any, and sometimes find myself wishing that I had. Here is the thing, I know lots of wls people, and a constant thing that I hear from anyone that develop an intolerance to certain foods, they all tell me that their taste buds changed as well, and its not really something that they consciously miss in their lives. I think that the body is insanely well at adjusting to changes so when something like that happens, I believe that our bodies counteracts those changes with biological changes that evolves our bodies over time making them easier to cope with.

I can't really comment much on the Reiki thing that you mentioned, I believe that things of the spiritual or zen nature can affect those who are really into those things and open to its affects. While I have the capability to believe in things of that nature, I don't believe that my mind has the analytically ability to be opened up to its affect on my body personally. I have known many people that are into those sort of things...my best friend is a VERY Chakra Crystal, Human Design, etc. kind of person...and those things work for her. My only hang up on anything of that nature is that I understand marketing, I have met many many individuals that are in business in those kind of industries, some actually believe in it, and some are only concerned with the bottom line, but as a whole they tend to be more of a predatory nature. I mean no offense, and I am not talking about the woman that you met, obviously I have never met her personally, and in all honesty people like her tend to be the ones that ARE genuine in that industry. However, anything that has evolved into a working business model, regardless of what it is, it is inevitably backed, funded, and marketed by a capitalistic population. Their job is to make it appeal to as many people as possible...regardless of its actual effectiveness across the board. I am not saying that Reiki doesn't work for individuals, or people can't find something beneficial with it, it is, as most things are, something that if you want to try it, by all means do so. I hope that it does help you, but please don't simply buy into the the hype and ignore results as to whether it is or isn't working for you. I see so many people that keep doing things they know are not working, all for the sake of of not losing face and admitting to themselves or others, that their decision wasn't the right one for them. There is nothing wrong with making a wrong choice...it is how we learn for future decisions.

So whatever works for you, whether it be Reiki, wls, or weight loss on your own without surgery, I really wish you the best. Just don't be afraid to try something new if one of those fails. Many people think that fear will keep us alive...and that is true to an extent, fear of things does keep people alive, but people who let fear run their lives, and make decisions for them will wake up one day and find that while the fear has kept them alive, it also never allowed them to live, or live the lives they should have had. Good luck on whatever you decide, but feel free to hit me up if you want to talk about anything surgery related, I have also spent many years losing weight without surgery, and currently work with a really great personal trainer, so I would also be happy to help you on what I can that is no surgery related as well.

the real question is. can. You continue to track every bite that goes into your mouth and do 1.5 hours of cardio every day. For the rest of your life? 

If you can,then why haven't you already lost all the weight you need to and you should be at goal.

personally,I couldn't do if, and that why I am grateful for the tool that allows my success.

gl

I'm glad to see honest and open communication about this. Especially your fear of maintenance and the other poster's struggles even after sleeve. I was sleeved a little over a month ago and was worried about gaining back weight before I even took it off! The truth is I'm fat b/c I don't make good choices and am not disciplined enough to eat right and exercise. Then, everything you read on these boards says, "it's not a magic bullet... for it to work, you have to eat right and exercise!" Hell, I couldn't even get through one week of the liquid diet without cheating! Regardless, I went to Mexico and had surgery anyway. (I was sort of like a kid on a high dive... I just shut my eyes and jumped!) I was fortunate, I had zero complications (from the start, I thought this was almost too easy!) and even though I wasn't hungry after surgery, I still wanted to eat things because I love to eat them!

Those urges have calmed down now, but I still worry I eat too much at a time. (My eyes are still bigger than my stomach.) When I hit the infamous 3 week stall, I almost immediately started reading the failed weight loss board on this forum and reading about people that lost 20 or 30 lbs and then gained it all back!! I finally realized I need to quite sabotaging myself! I am doing well. I am steadily losing weight (my 3 week stall only lasted a few days). I am making good food decisions 99% of the time and the times that I don't I'm not doing terrible!

I WILL have had a significant weight loss at the end of this honeymoon period and I WILL fight hard to keep it off! I will continue to ready the stories from vets who have been successful and I will learn as much as I can from their experiences as possible. Now, change all of those "I's" to "we's" and let's do this together! You won't regret it!!

Thanks for sharing. I haven't even started my pre-op diet. My surgeon said 2 weeks before surgery. My nutritionist and coordinator are pushing me to start it now. I am like are you kidding me. i am freaking out about not being able to eat all my bad food after surgery and you want me to start my pre-op diet early. I understand what you are saying about being a kid on the high dive, except I may need one of you to push me off... PLEASE :) Then I keep thinking what if I put myself through all of this and it doesn't work. I have PCOS and it makes it more difficult to lose weight. I am really sensitive to carbs. I hear everyone say how hard it is to eat meat. What am I going to do to get my protein in if I can't eat meat? This has to be one of the hardest things I have ever done. Geesh.

I bet you won't have any problem eating meat (at least after the first few weeks, and the first few weeks, you won't want any.) So, I'm once again in a "stall." (Which isn't really a stall... I'm just impatient!) I've figured out there's a kind of ebb and flow to this... 2 or 3 weeks of consistent weight loss (about .5 lb a day) and then about a week of maintaining (going up or down the same .2 lbs every day). I haven't done any post-op measurements yet, but I think I'll do that this weekend. I know it'll be smaller b/c my clothes are so much looser and even my rings are getting really loose. I start every day with a Premiere Protein chocolate shake (tastes like chocolate milk) and if it wasn't for that, I would never get anywhere close to my protein goals. (I still fall short most days, but I'm getting better.) "Hard" is a relative term here. It's "hard" to meet all your protein goals, it's "hard" not to be able to eat whatever you want, whenever you want, it's "hard" to realize how food is really an addiction ( just like alcohol is to alcoholics), but, right now- actually losing the weight isn't that hard. It comes off even when I don't make the best choices. I'm certainly not depriving myself of stuff I want to eat and working out 1.5 to 2 hours a day and still not losing! Now, THAT'S hard! I don't know what you mean when you say you're sensitive to carbs. I'm not a big carb lover/craver. Pasta and bread are not at the top of my list of stuff I want; however, I'm surprised at how many carbs are in food that I didn't realize! I'm probably eating way too many carbs, even though I don't eat bread and pasta. They're just in a lot of stuff! I'm a salt lover and most things that I crave with salt are high in carbs (or are what they call "slider foods.") Since I did my surgery in Mexico, I don't really have a nutritionist to work with. (I wish I did... it's the only drawback of having the surgery in MX as far as I'm concerned.) I get a lot of advice from these boards and from the web in general. Start edging your way to the end of the diving board and I'll give you a good PUSH come May. You won't regret getting the surgery, but you may regret not trying. Dive in... you've got a LOT to lose! (See what I did there?) :)