down payment... tomorrow

So tomorrow is the day I am making my down payment. Had a physical with my primary as well as blood work.  Hypothyroidism but otherwise healthy. My MD was open to the idea of Mexico but encouraged research, which I have done.  He has agreed to do any post  op tests, removal of stitches etc.   I knew tomorrow was going to be the decision day and have been eating like crazy. I am nervous, excited, scared and anxious all at once. I am going with Dr. Joya in PV.  April 18th is my target date. 

My husband are celebrating our 10 yr anniversary next week with a cruise and then it is back to the gym and a strict diet. I would like to loose 15-20 by the surgery date and a total of 160-180 

I have so many mixed emotions and question running thru my head.  Do I tell?  Will this work? Will I be here for my kids? Can I do the preop diet? Will there be complications once I am home? If there are complications how will I pay for them?   

I am very impressed with those of you who seem to jump in feet first where I feel like I have been in the kiddie pool for years.  I was denied 3 yrs ago by insurance, though thankfully so, for the lap band.  I had lost 50 lbs during that 6 months.  Regained it all when it fell through. Tried to loose on my own last January and lost 50lbs again only to regain it after I had a 4 month plateau.  So I know plateau's happen even with the sleeve and am worried that I will fail once again.  What are you all doing to prevent the "I am a Failure" mentality? A local support group in St.Louis, MO would be great if anyone knows of one that would allow outsiders.  And I know I need to find a NUT to talk to for the food issues. 

Congratulations on taking such a big step!  It's a scary thing to step so far out of your comfort zone.  It's not an easy decision and there are a lot of what if's that come with the process.  I sat silently in the kiddie pool for years wishing I was brave enough to jump, and then one day-- I did. (And so did you!)

The "I'm a failure" mentality simply has no place in your new life.  That kind of thinking only holds you back... and surgery is all about moving forward.  All post-op's are scared of regain.  We are all scared that this surgery will work for everyone else but not me.  And really, it makes sense right?? We have tried a million diets only to gain the weight back.  But the truth is... it can work for you too.  If you are determined enough to jump through hoops, put your checkbook on the line and take the risk to have surgery in the first place-- I bet your determined enough to follow your surgeons program and succeed.

Joining a support group was one of the best things I ever did.  I started attending pre-op and have faithfully attended ever since.  There are tons of online groups out there, but actually having a group to meet face-to-face is what works for me.  It provides not only support and a valuable source of information from those who have walked the same path, but it also holds you accountable and helps you stay on track.  If you contact a local bariatric program they should have a list of support groups in your area.  Almost all are open to the public and welcome new members.