That Guilty feeling

I manage to save up the money for having my surgery with dr. kelly and I am starting to feel guilty. I am unemployed an been saving up my money for months. I am a licensed cosmetologist but I dont work in a shop and have a very small clientelle. This surgery will basically wipe my bank account out. I have been very discipline in saving the money but now i feel that I m doing my kids and my husband a diservice because I am spending the money on myself.  My husband is paying all the bills and it puts him under a lot of stress. He will have a fit if I go through with this surgery because he has already voice his negative opinions about WLS and mexico. I am in a mental bind. My kids are happy and their needs are being met. UGH....I am rambling.  I feel like maybe I am being selfish and should put the money towards bills. We want to move into a bigger place and so i could use it for moving fees. My husband keeps telling me that I am not trying and want to take the EASY way out. We all in the WLS community know its not easy. Heres the major thing. I am suffering from huge back pains. I have a size 40 G breast and my doctor wont do my breast reducton (covered by insurance****il my BMI is 30 and under. He is against this surgery too. My current BMI is 42 and I am short. I guess my question is have any one had that guilty feeling and what decision did you make? Did you carry on with the surgery bc you knew its importance or did your guilt overtake you?

It's hard when you really can't afford the surgery, but you should be very proud of yourself that you've been able to save up the money.  I'm going to Dr Kelly in a few weeks, and I'm borrowing money for the surgery.  I really can't afford any more debt, but my health is suffering and I can't wait any longer.  The thing is, there's always going to be something else the money could be spent on - bills, a bigger place, a newer car, or whatever.  If you wait until you can "afford" it, it will never happen.  But if you feel guilty about spending the money on yourself, think about the flipside - how much is your health worth?  How much is it worth to be able to run around and play with your kids?  To go for a walk with your husband?  Today it's back pain, tomorrow it could be high blood pressure, or diabetes, or heart disease.  How much is it worth to see your kids graduate, or get married, or have kids of their own someday?  I believe you owe it to your family to be the happiest, healthiest YOU that you can be.  I can't tell you what to do, that's up to you.  But it's not selfish to want to not be in pain.  This is a tough decision to make and many of us go through the same struggles to make it.  This is just my take on it. 
Shannon

I couldn't say it any better than your pther reply. I will add that as far as someone being selfish? that would be your husband. He should respect you enough to take you word for it that you have tried and gfailed to lose and keep off your weight. he should want you to do WHaTEVER it takes to get the weight off so you can get that insurance covered surgery so you won't be in constant pain.  For him to want anything else for you is the epitome of selfishness. That is what I would tell my husband if it was me,in no uncertain terms!  How dare he not support me in an endevor that is going to improve my life!  My husband SOLD a beloved antique car so I could have this surgery!  He said he would rather invest in MY FUTURE than invest any more in that car! THAT is support!

Please,I am begging you don't let guilt overtake you. I know from reading your previous posts that you have waffled before. MAKE that appointment,get on that plane and CLAIM  your healthy pain free life!

Trust me,no one is going to get it for you,not ever.

Tell him he can kiss your skinny ass if he doesn;t like it but you are going to do what you need to do for yourself. The bill will still be there when you are healthy and pain free and you can help out then,even better than now.

I am unemployed also, and mostly emptied my savings avccount to get my surgery . I did feel sort of guilty, but knew at my weight and how awful I felt, it was necessary. Besides, as hard as things are, I think losing the weight should help me find a job more easily--right now I am back in school, looking for a job--I doubt I'd have the energy to do everything I need to had I not got rid of this weight