update....

Mom went to the doctor's today and they took the drain out!!! She's going to the doctors Thursday and they might put her on a clear liquid diet. As for everything else.. still the same. It's starting to hit me that Kayla is gone (my cousin's first love mentioned in my last post).. I just can't believe I will never see her smile that big beautiful smile anymore.. I'm glad momma's home now.. she's the only person that I can talk to that will listen and understand and know exactly what I'm talking about.. I've been in her room 3 nights in a row now.. talking with her and crying my tears that I have been keeping in since she's been on the ventilator and the new tears that have come to me since Kayla and Jessica died.

I know that things will get better with time.. and I won't lose touch of God. I've been through hard times since grandpa died in 2008.. that's when I started gaining my weight.. and this lapband hasn't worked.. senior year is about to start and I'm just trying to live my life and smile and truly mean it.. I want to be healthy and find clothes that fit me without having to roll them up. I want to find peace without having to eat to get it..
Love always,
Amanda

Im really sorry for what your going through.  Its hard when people close to you die.  Your in my thoughts and prayers, glad your moms home.