Family does not support my decision....

My family is 100% against my decision to have weight loss surgery in Mexico...

I am feeling so discouraged right now... They support the idea of me having weight loss surgery just not in Mexico, they feel I should save up and have it done in the US. Which would take forever seeing as the surgery would be like twice the amount if not more in the US. I also have no collateral to get financing to speed the process up, and in this economy people with PERFECT credit are still turned down for loans.

Sigh...... I just am feeling so close to throwing in the towel.

 

 

Please please please don't internalize what your family wants or does not want for you.  I had the same problem.  My sister hung the phone up on me when I told her I was going to Mexico - she said she was upset with my decision.  Friends had so much fear for me ...  that I was gonna get botched up, get infections, get killed...you name it.  I was turned down by my insurance company to have the VSG although they approved of the RnY and the Lapband.  The place where I wanted it done at, Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore was going to cost $17K and when I did some research the place I decided to go to was $10K.  Lordyyy...what I could do with the difference of $7K.  I took $10K out of my home equity line of credit and went to Mexico to Dr. Zapata and now I'm 3 weeks post-op.  I've dropped 17 pounds and feel great!  Now my family and friends are happy for me.  But I had to be firm with my decision and not let them get in control of me.  I had done my research and learned that my surgeon was one of the best!  Don't throw in the towel.  Do what is best for you.  No matter what...your family will be there for you...even if you have it done in Mexico ... they'll be there waiting when you get home.  They were for me!   I hope I inspired you some. 

This is the exact reason I have nto told my whole family... I wont until I am back. I told my mom and she was sceptical but they jsut have to trust that you have done your research and trust that you make a safe and a right decision for you.

I have heard that Mexico is just as nice if nicer than hospitals in the US. It is your decision and you should make it clear that you will do it with or without thier support. They will come around and if not they will after surgery.

Best of luck.
Cali

We have all heard this same story over and over.

Fear is caused from ignorance.  Sorry-  buts it true.
There is nothing wrong with the Dr  that I chose in Mexico.  Its was an awesome experience.
Tell them to pay the difference or shut up.

Sorry-
I get aggravated at this issue.  It really hits home for me.  People pass judgment without knowing.

I didn't let what others feared stop me from being the person that I wanted to be.

JLo

I have created a lot of my own struggle by trying to please others. Don't make that mistake. Do what is right for you. Ultimately, you are the one who will live with your choice. Your whole family will still be living their own lives. You must do what you need to do for you, then you can do for others. Take care of yourself first! Good luck and God bless! 

Remember, you have to live and do for you, not your family. I had the same problem. I told my family, "if your going to have so much input as to what I do with my life, then pay the $25,000 it would cost me here". They changed their tune very quickly!

Don't give up, you got to live your life. You continue with your path onto WLS! When its all said and done your family will praise you about how fabulous you look!

Good Luck!

I've experienced this too to varying degrees.  My best friend (who's a nurse, of course) is 1000% against it & hung up on me last week.  Tried to put the emotional guilt trip on that I was being selfish for not considering other people's feelings.  This is my life.  My bottom line is, if you aren't supportive, then we can agree to not talk about it, but I'm done with the nasty emails & lectures.  You will always be your own best advocate.  Stay strong!  Their fears will pass.

First, let me say I feel your pain, I too, have been there.

I am a RN, so I got flack everywhere in my life, work and home. I almost ended up divorced over RNY in Mexico. It was a horrible time in my life and I wish I never told anyone I was having WLS period, let alone in Mexico!

Even if you were not going to Mexico, you would still be hearing some of the same things from the "loved ones" in your life who think you need to know their opinion. I am sure you have heard that "so and so's brothers aunt had that WLS and gained back all of the weight, or died, or had some other problem".

Funny thing is people who find out I had WLS still say stupid stuff like,  "Well I lost 45 pounds, but I did it the hard way!"

You are always going to run into this kind of ignorance. I know how hard it is to let it roll off your back, but you MUST!  If I had focused all of the anger I had from all the stupid comments into myself, I would have reached my goal alot sooner!

You can't fix stupid!

Do your research and go with your instinct. Remember you always have up until the last second before they put you under to get up and leave if you dont want it!


Good luck!
Bonnie
RNY 6/3/05
264/149 (BMI 23.9)

I understand your being upset by all the negativity... my own mother said I gained 50 pounds in order to have surgery.... boy she must have been blind!  
Maybe like me didn't see myself as big until I lived in a fifth wheel trailer for awhile... mirrors everywhere OMG  What a shock to actually see myself and let it sink in how big I really was! 
Now 3 years later have just had plastics  and I think I might need those mirrors again to drive home how much better I look and stop thinking of myself as the 'fat chick'. 
Anyway my point is that only you know what is best for you!