25 days and counting down and out of denial...

I'm scheduled for RNY with Dr. Joya in Puerta Vallarta on September 25th. I cannot believe it's almost here. I've fought for two years with insurance and decided to do it on my own and here I am! I guess I never thought about what it would be like to have a date set! I am going through a whole range of emotions. I am thankful to actually have the date set off aways so I can have some reflection time. I read others talk about the emotions prior to surgery, but until you are actually here, do you understand, see and feel what it truly is. I have decided to lift my head up and come out of denial to see the truth of how I am fitting into this world. I see that I really don't fit! I don't fit in booths. Nor those silly white patio chairs. I don't fit nicely in my car, and please don't talk about getting out of the car! I can’t walk the few blocks to and from my car at work without getting winded. Nor do I have stranger say HI to me or comment (to my face), only the street beggars asking for money.

I don’t see myself in any mirrors or windows….probably because I don’t look. I am exhausted after sitting at my desk job for the day. My variety of daily work clothes consists of just a few mix and match items that are wearing out. And of course, low to the ground-good for your feet, not very fashionable shoes so my feet don’t hurt any more than they already do. My weekend clothes consist mainly of sweats and big t-shirts. YES…I am the picture of fashion!!!

 

My 4 horses are standing in the pastures day in and day out and just look at me as if saying…”give me a job to do!” Ok…maybe not. I could possibly be projecting my guilt of not being able to work with them, on to them. My yards are looking very neglected and I can't imagine going out and tackling that job

 

My husband…bless his heart….is loving and caring to me and loves me ‘just the way I am’, but I can tell in his voice and questions that he is just as excited as I am to get this new life going!!  My kids...well...they're teenagers. Enough said.

 

I have major, moving (physically moving) plans in my near future and I would LOVE to be able to move more freely. I cannot wait!!

 

The only fear that is popping up is the fear that this surgery won’t work. That I will lose 10-20 lbs. and that will be it.

UGH…what a fear. It hurts just writing about it.  I want and need this tool so badly to live and enjoy my life.  I start my two week liquid diet on 09/10. I am having a bit of anxiety over that and hoping I can do it. Any tips? Anyone out there have similar experiences, feelings, emotions, or others? Sheesh....what a chatty post that really didn't go anywhere. I suppose I needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening! Susan =0)

Congratulations on your date! I hope it goes well for you! I just had my surgery SOTB on 8/14..and it's working! so don't worry about that. I understand your excitement and you will probably have every thought/emotion in the world before you do it! It's all normal. I didn't have to do the diet so I have no words of advice for that...sorry! Keep us posted.

Congratulations!!!  Going SOTB was truly the best decision I have ever made. I too was sick of the insurance hoops and run around. I took control of the situation finally. I've heard great things about Dr. Joya. Prayers being sent for a speedy recovery. Life is awesome -138 pounds (and still losing) lighter. I made a worst things about being fat blog entry not to long ago so I would never forget and never go back.  Hmmm tips for liquids: Boxed broths and homemade are better than canned by far. Freeze homemade in ice cube trays and pop a couple of cubes in the nuker. This is great post-op to. Strained restaurant soups (wonton was a fav of mine) will make you feel like you are having something special. Again best wishes. Trust me it works... there are weeks the weight loss slows or stops but it'll kick back in again. Keep us updated.

~Michelle