Hello Fellow Houstonian!

I just wanted to say, its one guy, he's a loser, move on... I will be going into surgery with about the same stats, and fear the skin issue, too... I'm also having a mostly-online relationship, with a great guy that I reconnected with after 8 years. I'm going to see him in April, but luckily he is the type of guy who is into big gals, as he puts it.

If you are having problems with depression, it may be time to get into therapy... I am a big believer in seeking mental help when needed. If you decide to seek out psychiatric help, let me know and I'll give you the info for my psychiatrist's office. All of the docs there are great!

Whitney

Sorry for you experience..   just know that dating is the time where we are to "get to know" the other person to see if we are compatible.  Please try not to take it to heart sooo much.  I'm sure there were or will be other men out there that perhaps you will not be "so into".  

As for sex.. I do know that if I'm not into it with the person then it does reflect on my "performance" and I can only imagine a man would be the same.

Be sad a little and then get over yourself and move on .. there are others out there!!

 

I am a gastric bypass 5yrs out. I went into surgery at 322, 5ft 5in. and I am now 175lb and counting on and off. I knew that my sex life would change because of how my body would be viewed. I have no breast, sagging skin in my arms, stomach and on everything underneath that. I look good with my clothes on but off it is a crime. This makes me very self-conscious, something that I never was before and depressed. I love sex and attention and long for affection and want to get married since I have never been, but I think that as of today it will not happen. I was recently in a relationship with a guy that I reconnected with after 23 years on facebook who live in a different state than me. We talked on the phone and had great ******** for 4 months. In between the time we finally saw each other for Thanksgiving, I expressed my concerns about my body to him and offered him a reprieve if he could not handle it and no longer wanted to continue the physical part of the relationship. He in a nutshell said he was ok with that, saw him for Thanksgiving and everything seemingly was fine. Well we met again for New Years and he wasn't affectionate and while I was there for a total of 4 days he only touched me once and during that time we attempted to have sex but he couldn't stay at attention; which became a rush job in the end. Well this messed with me and started to crumble the relationship. I finally confronted him last Monday as to what the problem was and he said that I wasn't his "type". That he was use to little women and that he tried to make it work with me but he just couldn't. Now I was ok with the what he was use to but I had a problem with the sex part. You mean to tell me that you could not keep yourself at attention because the sight of me disgusted you that much!!!! I was mad at first, but now I'm soooooooooo sad because what if this is the rest of my life. Am I really being punished for trying to make a better me. I don't know what to do cause it hurts so much. 

Good morning OH'ers.. IT'S FRIDAY! !

Today I am grateful..

For family..

For unconditional love..

For circles..

For knowing I am a sick person trying to get well not a bad person trying to get good..

For unity..

SONG OF THE WEEK

GANGSTA'S PARADISE BY COOLIO

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I take a look at my life
And realize there's nothing left.
'Cause I've been blasting and laughing so long
That even my momma thinks that my mind has gone.
But I ain't never crossed a man that didn't deserve it.
Me be treated like a punk, you know that's unheard of.
You betta watch how ya talking
And where ya walking
Or you and your homies might be lined in chalk.
I really hate to trip but I gotta loc,
As they croak, I see myself in the pistol smoke.
Fool, I'm the kinda g that little homie's wanna be like,
On my knees in the night
Saying prayers in the street light.

[Chorus]
We've been spending most our lives
Living in a gangsta's paradise.
We've been spending most our lives
Living in a gangsta's paradise.
We keep spending most our lives
Living in a gangsta's paradise.
We keep spending most our lives
Living in a gangsta's paradise.

Look at the situation, they got me facing,
I can't live a normal life, I was raised by the street.
So I gotta be down with the 'hood team,
Too much television watching, got me chasing dreams.
I'm an educated fool with money on my mind
Got my ten in my hand and a gleam in my eye.
I'm a locked out gangsta, set tripping banger
And my homies are down so don't arouse my anger.
Fool, death ain't nothing but a heart beat away,
I'm living life do or die, what can I say?
I'm twenty-three now, will I ever live to see twenty-four,
The way things is going I don't know.

Tell me why are we
So blind to see.
That the ones we hurt
Are you and me?
We've been spending most our lives
Living in a gangsta's paradise.
We've been spending most our lives
Living in a gangsta's paradise.
We keep spending most our lives
Living in a gangsta's paradise.
We keep spending most our lives
Living in a gangsta's paradise.

Power in the money, money in the power,
Minute after minute, hour after hour,
Everybody's running, but half of them ain't looking
It's going on in the kitchen
But I don't know what's cooking.
They say I gotta learn
But nobody's here to teach me.
If they can't understand it, how can they reach me?
I guess they can't,
I guess they won't,
I guess they front,
That's why I know my life is out of luck, foo!

We've been spending most our lives
Living in a gangsta's paradise.
We've been spending most our lives
Living in a gangsta's paradise.
We keep spending most our lives
Living in a gangsta's paradise.
We keep spending most our lives
Living in a gangsta's paradise.
Tell me why are we
So blind to see.
That the ones we hurt
Are you and me?
Tell me why are we
So blind to see.
That the ones we hurt
Are you and me?

MOVIE QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"IT'S AWFULLY COLD OUT HERE WHEN YOU ARE ALL ALONE"  Victor Sweet in Four Brothers.

03/11 REFLECTION FOR THE DAY
Since I came to The Program, I've begun to recognize my previous inability to form a true partnership with another person.  It seems that my egomania created two disastrous pitfalls.  Either I insisted upon dominating the people I knew, or I depended on them far too much.  My friends in The Program have taught me that my dependence meant demand -- a demand for the possession and control of the people and the conditions surrounding me.  DO I STILL TRY TO FIND EMOTIONAL SECURITY EITHER BY DOMINATING OR BEING DEPENDENT ON OTHERS?

TODAY I PRAY
May I turn first to God to satisfy my love-hunger, knowing that all He asks from me is my faith in Him.  May I no longer cast emotional nets over those I love, either by dominating them or being excessively dependent upon them -- which is just another form of domination.  May I give others the room they need to be themselves.  May God show me the way to mature human relationships.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
To have faith in His love.