06/17 REFLECTION FOR THE DAY
Readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine.  A casual apology, on the one hand, will rarely suffice in making amends to one we have harmed; a true change of attitude, in contrast, can do wonders to make up for past unkindnesses.  If I've deprived anyone of any material thing, I'll acknowledge the debt and pay it as soon as I'm able.  WILL I SWALLOW MY PRIDE AND MAKE THE FIRST OVERTURES TOWARD RECONCILIATION?

TODAY I PRAY
God, show me the best ways to make "direct amends."  Sometimes simply admitting my mistakes may make it up to someone and unload my own simmering guilt.  Other times restitution may take some creative thought.  May I be wholly aware that I cannot take this Ninth Step unless I develop some caring, some real concern about how others feel, along with changes in my behavior.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
First I care, then I apologize.

Five months ago, I checked myself into the psychiatric unit of the local
hospital. I was a mess with drinking, pain pills and cutting. It is amazing
how low I sank that time. While there, it was recommended I go inpatient for my
alcoholism. My outpatient alcohol treatment therapist suggested it before I
went to the hospital. I was not a happy camper inpatient, but I did something I
had never done about my alcohol problem before while there. I prayed and
surrendered myself to God. I have had a peace about my program ever since.
When I got 90 days, I jumped into service at my home group, speaking at a
meeting, now chairing a meeting, and even serving on Intergroup. I am so
grateful I do not want to drink today, nor have I wanted to in a very long time.

Trish

I did not have my surgery delayed because of my mental health issues, but I can assure you that it is vital that you be as stable as possible.  Food is a drug for me, and I spiraled out of control a year out, with alcohol and food again.  My weight loss stalled, and my alcoholic relapse has been brutal.  I had five years of sobriety when I had my surgery.  

If you are not in therapy, it would be a good idea to get into therapy.

Trish

Hi Mark,

  I had GBS in March 2003, I decided to come visit and your post stuck out to me. I was initially denied in part to something similar. The GBS shrink said I was too depressed to continue the process and suggested that I begin antidepressants. I was angry because I thought, How many people do you know that weigh 450 pounds that aren't depressed? I did what was asked and took the medication and within a few months of stability, I was approved.
 Now, here comes the fun part. Because of the changes physically and emotionally, I experienced a slew of problems. I began engaging in multiple high risk behaviors such as sex, drugs, and drinking. I did not know who I was anymore and it scared me. I believe anyone going through this dramatic of a change needs to always be aware of the possibilties.
 Luckily, I am now in recovery and have been on the right path for three years. I am in school to become a counselor and hope to do some work with weight loss surgery patients and those with addiction. I am also happily married and have the life I always dreamed of. If I had to do it over, I would not change a thing because if the road lead me here, it was worth it.
 Make sure you have a good support system in place and do not stop receiving counseling post-op. I made many mistakes and thought I was fine, but I was anything but fine for awhile. Take care and wishing you all the best in life!

It's important to be as stable as possible so that you have a better chance after surgery of doing ok. My Surgery was delayed a month because my surgeon wanted to be 100% certain that I was stable enough and able to take care of myself after surgery. I have Bipolar and a double depression diagnosis.
Work with your therapist on getting your depression under control, even if it delays your surgery a bit it's better than spiraling into a deep depression after surgery and not being able to take care of yourself. I've only had one minor depressive episode since surgery.
Making sure you have a really good support system is important as well, it will help you feel less overwhelmed and allow you to have help while you are trying to heal from surgery.