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Someone once defined the ego as "the sum total of false ideas about myself." Persistent reworking of the Twelve Steps enables me to gradually strip away my false ideas about myself. This permits nearly imperceptible but steady growth in my understanding of the truth about myself. And this, in turn, leads to a growing understanding of God and other human beings. DO I STRIVE FOR SELF-HONESTY, PROMPTLY ADMITTING WHEN I'M WRONG?
TODAY I PRAY
God, teach me understanding; teach me to know truth when I meet it; teach me the importance of self-honesty, so that I may be able to say, sincerely, "I was wrong," along with, "I am sorry." Teach me that there is such a thing as a "healthy ego" which does not require that feelings be medicated by mood-alterers. May I -- slowly, on my tightrope -- move toward the ideal of balance, so I can do away with the nets of falsehood and compulsion.
TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
To keep my balance.
It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end. ~Ursula K. LeGuin
07/09 REFLECTIONS FOR THE DAY
When we make only superficial changes in ourselves, and give only lip service to The Program, our progress is slow and likelihood of relapse great. Our regeneration must take the form of a true spiritual rebirth. It must go very deep, with each character flaw replaced by a new and positive quality. AM I BEING COMPLETELY HONEST WITH MYSELF IN UNCOVERING THE FAULTS WHICH HAMPER MY SPIRITUAL GROWTH? AM I BEGINNING TO REPLACE THEM WITH POSITIVE QUALITIES?
TODAY I PRAY
May God's protective hand lead me out of the darkness of my deepest fear -- that I could return to being what I do not want to be. Please, God, give me courage to make an honest appraisal of myself. Please help me cultivate my positive qualities and begin to be free of my fears.
TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I must be reborn in the Spirit.
It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end. ~Ursula K. LeGuin
You mean peanut M&M's are NOT good for us....
I do the same thing.... It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end. ~Ursula K. LeGuin
I wish you much luck and I'm so glad you're investigating! I sure wish I would have!
Melissa
~Melissa~
Start 286/Current 265/ Goal 150
what you say is so right. I have been skipping my evening dose of meds for months because I won't take them when I'm drinking (for obvious reasons) and now that I'm not drinking I'm ALL screwed up. I'm just crying and angry for no reason. It's good that all my kids are grown up and out of the house, I'm even losing patience with my dog!
I've never been in a psy hosp, though I should have by now. I too, have cut myself and tried suicide several times. My husband takes really good care of me..I just have to keep busy. I'm okay during school because I have so much to do. Who'd think that I am an honor student in college...I'm way messed up.
Melissa
~Melissa~
Start 286/Current 265/ Goal 150
Made me think about just how much I rationalize stupid stuff, like eating M&Ms with peanuts, because they have peanuts, protein. Never mind the sugar content and how I will feel afterward.
I need to become more aware of this stuff. I am going to start back on keeping a food log. That helps me get honest about my intake.
Hugs,
Trish
Albert Schweitzer
07/07 REFLECTION FOR THE DAY
What wonderful things could happen in my life if I could get rid of my natural impulse to justify my actions. Is honesty so deeply repressed under layers of guilt that I can't release it to understand my motives? Being honest with ourselves isn't easy. it's difficult to search out why I had this or that impulse and, more importantly, why I acted upon it. Nothing makes us feel so vulnerable as to give up the crutch of The Alibi, yet my willingness to be vulnerable will go a long way toward helping me grow in The Program. AM I BECOMING MORE AWARE THAT SELF-DECEPTION MULTIPLIES MY PROBLEMS?
TODAY I PRAY
May God remove my urge to make excuses. Help me to face up to the realities that surface when I am honest with myself. Help me to know, as certainly as day follows sunrise, that my difficulties will be lessened if I can only trust His will.
TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
I will be willing to do His will.
It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end. ~Ursula K. LeGuin
Here are two websites you can check out to explore the AA program. www.aa.org there you can read two of the books online, the AA Big Book and the AA Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions that are how we stay sober.
The other website is a Yahoo group, like this here on Obesity Help. http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/aabeginnersclub/ I try to post there regularly. It is for people who want to learn about AA from people in AA.
IF you are an alcoholic, it will not get better on its own. I thought mine would, and it got worse. I ended up in a psychiatric hospital after not taking the right dose of my meds for weeks, and abusing vicodin and drinking. I was cutting myself and suicidal. They sent me to rehab.
Good luck.
Trish
Albert Schweitzer
I'm not really doing anything right now. My husband takes my car keys when he leaves in the morning and sit in the apartment until her gets home at night. I physically can not go get anything to drink...that will wor****il August when I have to go back to school. LOL I'm hoping by then the worst will be over.
~Melissa~
Start 286/Current 265/ Goal 150
